


Feels Like Home

by ansnow24



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: AU: No Powers, Bartender Barry, Childhood Trauma, Depression, Foster-Parent Barry, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-04-28 02:01:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 61,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14439090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ansnow24/pseuds/ansnow24
Summary: After years in foster care and disappointment with failed appeals to release his father from prison, Barry becomes a bartender and tries to live his life the best he can. His simple life gets shaken up when his social worker makes an unexpected request to foster a teenager who is struggling in the system. Becoming a foster-parent leads Barry to foster many new relationships with people he never expected. As he navigates his new reality, Barry realizes family is more than blood, love changes us in more ways than we know, and friendships save us each and every day.





	1. A Request

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but my plot and original characters. The Flash and its characters and places belong to DC Comics and CW Television. Title is a reference to the song by Chantal Kreviazuk. 
> 
> Hello! I'm a long time reader, first time writer. Criticism welcome, but please be kind.

Barry checks the time on his phone as he sits down at a tall table inside Jitters. Normally, he runs a little late to appointments, but to his relief, Barry is exactly on time today. Ever since she became his social worker when he was eleven, Judy Stilson was one of the few people Barry cared enough about to want to earn her respect. Fourteen years later, that hasn’t changed, and one of the few ways Barry can show Judy how much he cares about her is to be on time when they meet so as not to waste any of the woman’s precious and limited free time.

As he waits for Judy, Barry worries over the text he received from her the day before. While not uncommon for Judy to message Barry or want to meet, the tone of this message was urgent and unlike any she sent him in the past. Double checking the message for the correct time, he re-reads what Judy sent him yesterday.

**Wonder Woman: Barry, I need to discuss something very important with you. Can you meet me tomorrow at noon? 4:06pm**

**Barry: Sure... is everything ok? 4:07pm**

**Wonder Woman: I’m alright. I’ll explain when I see you tomorrow. Thanks! 4:12pm**

Knowing Judy will arrive soon, he puts his phone back in his pocket and fiddles with the sticker on his drink cup. Barry’s eyebrows furrow as he contemplates what could be so important to Judy. About once every other month, Judy asks Barry to meet her for coffee and they always meet at the Jitter’s closest to Barry’s apartment. Their conversations typically focus on Barry and his life: work, friends, hobbies, interests, stress, daily living. Judy likes to share stories about her cat’s adventures and her husband’s cooking disasters in the kitchen. They have an unspoken understanding that they won’t bring up the foster system; even when Judy asks Barry to tutor foster kids, she doesn’t elaborate, and he doesn’t ask for details.

These chats became a habit for them after Barry turned eighteen and moved into his own place. It is protocol for social workers to keep in contact with their cases, especially the first year out of the system, but Judy still checks in with Barry and offers her support even though he’s twenty-five and arguably stable in his adult life. He isn’t sure if she stays in touch with all her cases after they outgrow the system, but he never questions her, and always looks forward to their time together. Her presence in Barry’s life has been one of comfort and stability in a world that seemed to try to prevent him from experiencing those very things.

As the bells on the door jingle announcing a new arrival to Jitters, Barry looks up and his chest tightens as he takes in the woman looking around for him. Judy’s short, curly hair is windblown and greying, her skirt and blouse are clean but clearly worn and out of season, and her giant purse, which is really just a fancy bag, is overflowing with folders, a book, a planner, and a bag of crackers sticking out of the opening. Her flats click steadily on the tile as her short, sturdy legs carry her over to Barry as she shoves her phone into her purse. Even in her frazzled state, no one would ever guess that Judy is sixty-three and works one of the toughest, most thankless jobs possible. She radiates a confidence and calmness of which Barry has always been envious. Her smile is infectious, and Barry catches himself returning it with one of his own as he slides off his stool to greet the woman who embodies the hero he labeled her as in his phone.

“Barry! So good to see you, honey.” Judy squeezes Barry in a tight hug that he bends down to receive. As he smells her floral perfume, Barry can’t help but release a deep exhale as the woman’s presence puts him at ease. She pats his cheek softly as her eyes look over his face for whatever it is she wants to know. Part of her superpower is being able to discover every truth about Barry with one good look at his face. “I’m sorry I worried you. Thank you so much for meeting me on such short notice.”

“Of course, Judy. It’s no problem at all.” Barry pauses as they both take their seats, Judy hopping a little to get into to tall chair. She pulls a folder out of her purse and sets it on the table, her eyes softening a little more as she looks back at Barry. “Do you want me to get you a drink?”

“No, thank you, sweetie.” She gives Barry a tight smile and he knows her day must be packed if she’s refusing a cup of coffee. This conversation has to be extremely important for Judy to interrupt her already hectic Friday to talk to Barry. “Unfortunately, I don’t have much time today. I want to talk to you about this case I’m working with.” Judy taps the folder lightly but doesn’t open it or look away from Barry’s eyes.

Barry readjusts his weight and footing on the stool as he grabs his drink. In all the times Barry and Judy have talked throughout the years, she never shared specifics about her cases. Sometimes, she would offer up a bit of information about a kid Barry would be meeting, but it was mostly trivial. Interests and hobbies, family or group home, reserved or defiant were usually the only things she offered to Barry, preferring to let him get to know kids on their own terms.

“Okay.” The word is drawn out and sounds more like a question than Barry would like, but he is so confused he isn’t sure what else to say.

“I’ve been working with Riley for about two years. His father was arrested for disorderly conduct a few months after Riley’s mom died from cancer. Riley was twelve when she passed. After some observations, Riley was taken away from his father for abusive neglect and drug abuse. I placed him in a family with other kids, but that didn’t work out. A couple agreed to take him in a few months ago, but they aren’t able to give Riley what he needs. I’m removing him from their care today. I don’t like the idea of him being in a group, but that’s where he has to stay for now.” Judy pauses, still looking at Barry with her soulful brown eyes.

The amount of pain and trauma she must have seen during her career as a social worker in Central City is difficult for Barry to think about, yet Judy always kept that motherly softness that so many kids in the system need. She is tough as nails and will fight for her cases, but she never lost her ability to show kindness or feel compassion toward the kids she works with, unlike so many others who get beaten down and become jaded by the horrors revealed through the foster care system.

“Um, I’m sorry that Riley is going through such a tough time.” Barry doesn’t elaborate. He knows the hardships a boy will face after losing his mom and having a dad taken away from him. Nothing he says can make the situation better for Riley, Judy, or the memories of his own childhood. He also knows that Judy know these truths, too.

“Thank you, honey.” Judy reaches out and pats Barry’s forearm that is tight from clenching onto his cup. “Riley’s trauma and situation at home manifested into issues with abandonment and depression. Unfortunately, his symptoms are only getting worse. I’m truly worried that without the right care, Riley won’t be able to pull himself out of this dark hole he’s lost in. I don’t want to think about what could happen to him if I don’t get him help immediately.”

Judy tightens her grip on Barry before pulling back her hands. Barry’s breathing feels short and forced. His hands start to sweat, so he moves them under the table to wipe on his jeans. “Judy, I…” Barry looks down at the table and takes a deep breath. He still isn’t certain why Judy was having this conversation with him, and it makes him more uncomfortable than he’s been with her in years.

“I don’t…” Barry finds Judy’s face again, slightly tilted, patiently waiting for him to gather his thoughts and voice them. She is always good about giving him time to find the words he wants. “I know how scary that darkness can be for kids. I hope you can find what he needs soon.”

The only response Judy gives is a slight uptick of her lips as she keeps waiting. Barry rubs the back of his neck as he looks around the room before returning to Judy’s warm eyes once again. “If there’s anything I can do… to help you help him… I don’t know. I’m not… I don’t...” Two more deep, grounding breaths allow Barry the time he needs to finish his thought. “Just let me know if I can help.”

A brilliant smile slowly appears on Judy’s face, making her seem much happier than this conversation warrants. “Oh, Barry.” She looks him over again, still smiling, and then flips through the folder she has on the table. She reads a few papers before closing the folder and looking back to Barry. “Thank you, Barry. You are truly a wonderful soul, and I’m so proud of the man you’ve become.” Barry blushes at the unexpected praise from the woman who watched him struggle through his adolescence and his own demons. “I know this isn’t what you expected or planned, but I know that this is the best choice we can make, for everyone.”

“What choice? Judy? What -"

“Barry, I want you to foster Riley.” She never was one to mince words.

Barry’s heart and thoughts speed into overdrive, but Judy keeps talking, oblivious or ignoring Barry’s shock. “I already filled out the necessary paperwork for you. It helped that I had all your information and knew the new details of your life. Usually, we don’t let someone foster without going through our classes, but I argued my case that this is a special circumstance and my bosses agreed with me, or they at least trust my judgment enough to let me put this into action. We can talk about the classes later after you both get settled and things calm down.”

“Wait.” Barry finally finds his voice and an opening in Judy’s confusing and fast-paced explanation. “What do you mean you want me to foster Riley?”

“Exactly that. I want you to be Riley’s foster-parent.” Judy pauses, looking Barry over again for answers he didn’t think he was giving the woman.

“But… I can’t be a foster-parent! I don’t… I’ve never had kids. Or taken care of them.” Barry’s eyes widen as he realizes Judy did expect him to be a foster-parent and that was the purpose of her meeting with him today.

“Sure you can. I already filled out all the forms and received confirmation that you can foster as soon as your home passes inspection. And you know having kids isn’t a prerequisite for being a foster-parent, or a good one.”

“Yeah, that’s true. But I’ve never been responsible for a kid before. I don’t think I’m the best choice –”

“What about all the times you tutored foster kids? And all the ways you helped take care of the kids in your last group?”

“Okay, sure. But… I don’t have a good job. I’m a bartender -"

“You work two jobs that provide you with financial stability. And you know the state will reimburse you each month for expenses toward your foster-child.”

“I’m only twenty-five! I’m just a little older than the kid, and definitely not old enough to be his parent. And I’m…”

“So?”

Barry pauses. He knows he had more reasons why this was an insane idea, but Judy was giving him a look that makes him feel like the petulant pre-teen he used to be when they first met.

“Listen, Barry,” Judy starts softly. “I’m not going to force you into doing something that makes you uncomfortable, but I want you to think about why you’re fighting this right now. None of your arguments are valid, and I know you know that.” She gives him that sage look she often wears when offering advice and support. Barry slouches a little more in his seat.

“I’ve been doing this job a long time, and I’ve known you for almost half your life. I’ve never come to you with a request like this, and I don’t do so now lightly. I’ve spent a lot of time really thinking about what would be best for Riley and what he needs to survive this time in his life. I know this is new and different and scary for you. I’m asking you to take on a huge responsibility and change your life to accommodate another soul living with you who needs a lot of emotional support from a caregiver. I know the foster system wasn’t a great place for you.”

Judy waits until Barry makes eye contact with her before continuing. “I know what you’ve been through, and I know how tough it was for you. I also know that now you are a strong, wonderful man with a lot of love to give to others. I hope that you will agree to foster Riley and share your life, your strength, and your love with him. I know you can help him.”

Barry sits still, the world around him a blur as he focuses on Judy’s face and the words she just said. He is still blushing, his heart still racing, and his hands still sweating. This was not what he was expecting today, or ever. He knows he trusts Judy, and she has never lied to him, even when Barry wanted her to tell him something comforting instead of the truth. She meant what she said, but that doesn’t mean Barry believes he can live up to her expectations. Taking care of a kid who ended up in the system is never easy, regardless of the situation.

Judy slides off her chair, walks over to Barry, and gives him a quick hug. His body responds, but his mind is still processing everything that was said in the last five minutes. “I’m going to give you time to think about this and review the case.” She nods to the folder she left on the table. “Riley starts high school in two weeks. I’m moving him to the group home on Clark for now. You can take all the time you need to come to a decision, but the sooner the better for everyone.”

Barry nods his head to show he was listening and understands what she is asking. Judy picks up her purse, squeezes Barry’s shoulder, and steps away from the table. “Call me if you have any questions, and let me know what you decide as soon as you can. Remember, I wouldn’t have asked you if I wasn’t certain you could do this. You are his best option, but only if you’re ready.”

As she walks toward the exit, Judy fishes her phone out of her purse and makes a call before she’s out of the building, most likely putting out more fires from a long list at work. Barry truly doesn’t know how she finds the time to accomplish everything she does within the system and for her cases.

Not knowing what to do next, Barry looks down at the folder Judy left for him. He slides it closer so he can read the tab. **_Whitcomb, Riley J. 10/17/2003_**. The kid will be fifteen in two months. _Not really a kid_ , thinks Barry.

Finishing off his now cold drink, Barry checks the time on his phone. He’s only been at Jitter’s for thirty minutes, so he still has three hours until he needs to leave for work tonight. He grabs the unopened folder, throws his cup away, and heads outside. The August air is warm and humid, but the breeze makes it comfortable to be outside. Barry starts walking toward his apartment. It’s only ten blocks away, and he needs the fresh air and space to process everything that just happened. _Barry Allen, foster-parent_. He may need more than ten blocks to wrap his head around that idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! This story developed after brainstorming on a prompt about a bartender who serves monsters and demons that rescue the bartender's kid when he is kidnapped. This story doesn't involve the supernatural, but there will be badass customers (Captain Cold), a kidnapping of the bartender's "kid," and lots of family feels in between. I have an outline for what I want to happen, but after the first chapter I realize things may change (hopefully for the better). I'm not sure about my posting schedule yet since this is my first time and my imagination has created a monster of a story. There may be a slow burn of Barry/Len, but that won't be the focus of this story (and if it happens will be much later).


	2. The Decision

A sense of déjà vu hits Barry as he makes his way to Jitter’s early Saturday afternoon. He’s still in a bit of shock even after thinking all night about his conversation with Judy. Barry conceded that his arguments yesterday against him being a good foster-parent were weak. He is a decently functioning adult with steady habits. He works enough to live comfortably and save for a rainy day or emergency. Not going to college or buying a car helped him stay out of debt, along with his frugal spending. He also does have experience helping middle school and high school aged kids from when he lived in a group home and tutored to make extra spending money after graduation.

While all that may be true, and Judy may have already done the legwork on getting him approved to foster, it doesn’t convince Barry that he is the best choice for taking on that responsibility full-time, or that his life is even conducive to welcoming a kid into his home. Which is why he’s on his way to have a second conversation about this in less than twenty-four hours with another equally strong woman he respects.

Even though Iris is his roommate, she spends most of her nights at Eddie’s place across town. Barry wasn’t sure what to think of Iris dating her dad’s work partner, let alone a cop, but he has to admit how happy they clearly make each other even a year later. As envious of their relationship as he is, Barry is truly happy his best friend is in a loving relationship with a good man.

Iris waves and smiles at Barry as he walks through the door, motioning that she already bought him his drink. “Hey, Barr!” Iris leans over to hug Barry before he can sit down and start on his coffee. Even in an oversized sweater and yoga pants, the young woman still looks elegant and radiates beauty. “I love our random Jitter’s dates. I think we should start scheduling some into the week, though, that way I can make sure to keep up with you and not be blindsided when you have big news.”

Barry smirks back at her. “Well, if you didn’t blow off dinner with Joe on Monday, we would be able to see each other and have more time to catch up on my very uneventful life.”

“Hey!” Barry winces more from her shriek than her slap on his arm. “Running down a LEAD for a story for my JOB is NOT blowing off dinner! But you’re right, your request for my advice about a “life changing decision” clearly lends itself to an uneventful week for you.”

Iris’ eye roll and air quotes on the phrasing Barry used when he texted her during a break at work last night does nothing to hide how curious she is. As she fidgets in her seat to lean closer to Barry, he realizes he’s lucky she didn’t pounce on him before he even made it to the table. She’s practically vibrating with excitement on being the first to find out about a new development in her best friend’s boring life.

“Yeah, well, since this decision would directly affect you, I figured I should let you weigh in. But, it’s not really a big deal. I’m pretty sure I’m going to say no.” Barry rubs the back of his neck and looks around at the people in line waiting to order their coffee.

He takes a sip of the coffee Iris knows he likes, trying to piece together how best to present the crazy scenario thrown at him yesterday. Before he gets to downplay the weight of Judy’s request, Iris is already questioning him and pushing for an explanation, ever the reporter.

“What do you mean this would directly affect me? How is that possible?”

“Well, Judy met with me yesterday and asked me to -”

“Judy?” Iris sits back in her chair and glares at Barry. He isn’t sure why Iris seems so put off; she’s always liked Judy and knows that Barry meets with her regularly. “Wait. So, this isn’t a conversation about you finally starting to date one of the cute guys that keeps flirting with you at Cupid?”

Barry’s eyes bug out and he chokes a little on his drink. “What? Uh… no! I… you thought…? Guys don’t flirt with me.”

“Are you serious right now?” Iris’ volume continues to increase along with her apparent incredulity. “Barry. Guys are CONSTANTLY gushing over you when you work the bar. And they practically MELT when you take a turn on the stage on karaoke nights. Seriously?! You’re going to tell me you don’t notice? A lot of them are so cheesy… you love cheesy romantic gestures! How have you not said yes to ONE of them yet?!”

The blush on Barry’s face warms him more than his coffee. “I think you’re making too big a deal out of that. Those guys flirt with everyone, not just me. They don’t mean anything by it, or they just want free drinks.”

“That is not -”

“Iris,” Barry interrupts before she really gets going on this off topic. “Can we please focus on the actual situation I need to talk to you about? It is really serious.” He pretends like he doesn’t hear Iris mumble, _“Your lack of a dating life IS serious,"_ as she crosses her arms and looks personally offended.

“Okay, Barry. What is it Judy asked you that’s so life changing?”

“Well…” Barry takes a deep, audible breath. He isn’t sure why he feels so nervous to tell Iris this. Barry trusts Iris with everything. She’s always been his number one cheerleader and supporter, no matter the situation. Maybe that’s why he’s struggling now; he isn’t sure which way he wants Iris advocating for him. He looks into her frustrated brown eyes and quickly looks back down to the table before rushing out, “She wants me to become a foster-parent to a fifteen-year-old boy whose mom died and dad couldn’t take care of him.”

A sharp inhale from Iris has Barry darting his eyes back up to see her frozen with her arms still crossed, but without the heat in her glare that was present only seconds before. He quickly continues before she can recover from the rare occasion of her loss for words.

“I told Judy it was a bad idea, but she told me to think about it anyway. And yeah, sure, she made a few valid points about me working with kids, but that doesn’t mean I should foster one full-time. And it’s not like my life is really set up to raise a kid. I mean, my jobs keep me pretty busy and away from home, especially at night when I should probably be supervising him. I definitely shouldn’t leave a depressed kid alone. Especially one with abandonment issues. And there’s not extra space in our apartment, which is why I needed to talk to you. He needs his own room, and I’m not about to sleep on the couch for the foreseeable future. But, I doubt you want to move…”

“Barr…”

“And I don’t really have the skillset to help a kid like him. Okay, I may have helped some of the kids I lived with, but that’s different…”

“Barry…”

“I mean, I don’t even know if I really helped them. We were all just trying to survive long enough to get out of there…”

“BARRY!” He finally stops his rant at Iris’ raised voice. She leans over the table and grabs onto his hands that have been waving around. She gently squeezes and waits for him to make eye contact.

This time when he looks at her, Iris has a slight smile and an expression he can’t quite place. He lets her take over the conversation while still holding on to his hands as they rest on the table.

“Judy asked you to foster a kid?” Iris’ voice is hushed and soothing, a tone she’s mastered over the years from calming Barry down from his outbursts of emotional tirades. He simply nods his head.

“And you said no, because you don’t think you’d be good for him?” Barry’s nod this time is slower and a little tilted with a touch of a shoulder shrug.

She gives him a soft smile in response. “Barr… do you want to be a foster-parent?”

Barry feels his eyes start to sting and his nose itch. He sniffs to try to regain control of his body’s unwanted response. “I don’t know, Iris. It’s not something I ever thought about before. And I’d have to make so many changes to -”

“That’s not what I asked.”

Barry sighs and pulls his hands back, clasping them under the table. This is exactly what he expected from his best friend: to challenge him and not let him get away with the easy answers. She always helped him process through his feelings as a kid when he didn’t know what he needed or wanted. Although he hasn’t needed her to push him like this in a long time, mostly due to his uneventful life, Iris hasn’t lost any of her skill or perception when it comes to breaking down Barry’s emotional barriers.

“Honestly, I never thought about it before Judy asked me yesterday. I always thought if I was going to have kids, I’d raise them with a partner. And since that hasn’t happened… Anyway, my initial reaction was to say no, for a lot of reasons. But, last night when I tried to imagine what it would look like to take care of Riley and help him… I don’t know. I guess, I started to think of all the things I needed to do. Things he would need, or I’d need to ask him. Different places I’d want to take him to try to make him smile. People I’d want him to meet…”

“You could see your life with him in it.”

Barry thinks about that a little longer before responding. “Yeah, I guess I could. But, that doesn’t mean it can actually happen.”

“Why not?” Iris is back to sounding annoyed with him. “Clearly you like the idea of fostering this kid if you were already making plans about what you’d want to do for him. And if Judy asked you to do this, then I know it’s completely possible and can actually happen. So, what’s the hold up, Barr?”

“I don’t know...” Barry reaches one hand up to press his fingers along his eyebrows. He realizes he truly doesn’t know why he keeps fighting against the idea of being a foster-parent. Iris seems to come to the same conclusion and doesn’t give him time to think up any more rebuttals.

“Okay, you wanted my opinion, right? Well, here it is. You may be a hopeless romantic, Barry, but you aren’t an irrational dreamer. If you have started outlining the steps to make this a reality, then I think you’re ready to do this. Your heart always takes a little longer to accept what your brain has already figured out.”

Iris is smiling at him again, probably remembering all the times she helped Barry embrace his fears and push forward with whatever changes he was reluctant to make. Iris was always able to shatter the clumsily constructed walls Barry built, and then help him walk through the rubble stronger than he thought possible. He knows how lucky he is to have someone like her care about him so fiercely.

“I know you don’t do well with accepting change, and yes, this is going to be a very big change for you. But change isn’t something to be afraid of. It’s how we grow into better versions of ourselves. What was it that biology teacher used to always say in class…?”

“Evolve or die,” Barry whispers with a bit of a chuckle. Mr. Severs was an eccentric teacher who had strange yet blatantly honest ways of explaining things to middle schoolers. Barry always thought his simple genius was wasted among the hormone crazed adolescents.

Iris reaches for the hand Barry left on the table and squeezes tightly. “Exactly. Barry, you’ve been merely existing for a while now, and if you don’t evolve, you’re going to die.” Barry opens his mouth to argue, but one look makes him snap his teeth together to let his whirlwind of a best friend finish her speech.

“You’ve worked hard to create this good, stable life for yourself. I know how difficult it was, how long it took, how many battles you fought to get here. But, Barr, this isn’t supposed to be the end. This isn’t as good as life can be. You have so much more to offer, to yourself and to others. You just need to get out of your own way and allow yourself to experience more of the goodness that is out there waiting for you.”

His emotions are threatening to come out in the form of salty tears once again. Barry tries to avoid thinking about all the hurdles he had to jump in his childhood, so when those thoughts do enter his mind, a river of feelings cascades through him and spills out into the open. Iris never makes him feel bad when he cries, but he still wishes he had better control over his reactions.

Barry swallows to try to regain some composure as Iris continues. “I think you would be a great foster-parent. You can to relate to those kids in a lot of ways that most parents can never understand. You’re kind, and patient, and smart, and anyone would be lucky to have you in their life.”

“Thanks, Iris,” Barry squeaks out, offering a small smile even as a few tears drop down onto his cheeks.

“You can be a real hero, Barry, fostering kids who need someone reliable and caring to believe in them... I think you should say yes. I think you’re ready to say yes.”

Barry uses his free hand to wipe away the moisture on his face. He stares into her eyes and lets her confidence wash over him. He knows Iris is right; she usually is. He can’t stop thinking about Riley and fostering him because it’s something that he does want, even if he didn’t know it until last night.

“You’re right.” He grins as Iris glows with approval at her favorite phrase. “If Judy and you think I can help Riley, then I have to try.”

Iris sits back and drinks more of her coffee. She seems to be processing through a million thoughts all at once, and Barry is nervous about what that will mean for him when she decides to share.

“This is so exciting! I can’t wait to meet the kid. Riley. Do you think he’ll call me Auntie Iris?”

Chuckling, Barry rolls his eyes. “I’m not sure. You can try, but Judy said he’s struggling with depression right now, so I don’t know how quickly he’ll take to new people.” Barry sighs and his brows draw down together. “I don’t know how he’ll react to me, or what I should do…”

“Hey,” Iris reaches all the way across the table to smooth out Barry’s forehead. “Just remember that it’s not your job to fix him. It’s your job to support him. Just letting him know you care and will be there for him will be enough at first. You’ll figure everything else out as you get to know him.”

“Yeah, okay.” Barry looks around before focusing on his best friend to say out loud what he’s anxious to declare. “I’m going to be a foster-parent.”

Iris claps her hands together and wiggles a little in her chair. It helps ease some of Barry’s concerns knowing that Iris will be around to help him with this new journey he’s about to take. She undoubtedly will take on an auntie role whether Riley wants her to or not.

“Thank you, Iris. Your support means everything to me.”

She looks sheepishly down into her drink. “So, would now be a good time to tell you that I’m moving out?”

“What?!” Maybe Barry misunderstood Iris’ support of his new situation. Thankfully, Iris is quick to reassure him before his thoughts can backtrack and spiral into doubt.

“Eddie asked me two weeks ago, but I wasn’t sure how you’d react. I mean, I know I’ve been basically living with him for a few months, but he asked me to officially move in while we were out of town and it was so sweet and romantic, Barr.”

 Iris’ thoughts venture back to a moment Barry is sure he doesn’t want details about. She snaps back to the present quickly when Barry says, “Iris, you know that I’ll be happy if you’re happy. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“That doesn’t matter anymore. You have a new roommate on the way who needs my bedroom, so this will work out perfectly! You can keep the bed and dresser for Riley. And the towels in the bathroom can stay. I really only want to take the rest of my personal things: the pictures, some clothes and jewelry, my books. Everything else is already at Eddie’s. I just left those things so dad wouldn’t freak out if he stopped by… what?”

Barry can’t contain his laughter anymore. As Iris was planning her packing list, all he could think about was Joe’s reaction to finally having to admit that his daughter is fully committed to being with his partner. Joe was trying so hard to stay in denial ever since Iris stopped hiding her relationship with Eddie.

“Please, let me be there when you tell Joe,” Barry begs. He only has a few moments to enjoy thinking about bringing popcorn to watch Joe unravel with Iris’ big news, however, before Iris is the one laughing at Barry.

“Of course, you’ll be there! I’m going to tell my dad right after you let him know you’re going to be a foster-parent.” Barry’s jaw drops, not expecting Iris to be able to turn her awkward moment with Joe onto him. “This way, you can be my scapegoat. _I had to move out, dad, otherwise Barry wouldn’t have a room for Riley!_ " She giggles a little more, clearly pleased with herself.

Barry shakes his head in fondness. Now that he feels confident and verbalized his decision, he’s ready to put everything into motion and make it happen. He needs to speak with a lot of people, even before telling Joe, but if Barry works quickly, maybe Riley can move in before next weekend.

“Monday night dinner work for you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and criticisms are welcome so long as they're said nicely. I'm not sure how quickly I'll keep posting chapters, but I'm hoping to have the next one up before Monday.


	3. Preparations

Tuesday afternoon arrives in a flash for Barry, and now time seems to stand still as he waits for Judy to show up for his home inspection. Ever since he made the decision to foster Riley, Barry has been a bundle of energy. He thinks that was probably a good thing considering everything he wanted to do and all the people he needed to talk to before he could take the next steps to help Riley.

             

Working at Cupid Saturday night was frustrating for Barry for the first time in the four years he’d been bartending at the popular gay club. Usually, Barry enjoyed working Friday and Saturday nights at the busiest bar in Central City for the LGBTQ+ community. Barry loves feeling challenged to keep up with the fast-paced patrons, watching the live entertainment, and being a part of the positive, high energy atmosphere every weekend. He met his best friend, Cisco, the first year he started bartending there, and the two of them attend karaoke nights on Wednesdays at least twice a month.

But this Saturday, Barry found himself frustrated, unable to turn off his brain for a few hours and enjoy the fast-paced night. He kept planning out all the tasks he needed to do in order to foster Riley and wavered back and forth between feeling confident he was ready for this responsibility and confident he was going to fail spectacularly. Iris’ comments also distracted him at work. Instead of enjoying the brief interactions with his customers, Barry felt self-conscious and uncomfortable with the attention men showed him. Barry still didn’t think the guys were seriously flirting with him, but now he was worried they might misconstrue Barry’s friendliness as more than pleasantries.

By the time Barry was on the bus headed to Iron Heights Prison Sunday morning, he was a ball of nerves. Thankfully, his weekly conversation with his dad set Barry at ease as soon as he heard the expected, “Hey, Slugger,” through the phone. Even though Henry Allen had been living behind bars unjustly for fourteen years with no hope for parole, Barry’s dad was still one of the most kind, patient, and understanding men Barry knew. While a relationship with glass between them was not ideal, Henry was a constant presence in Barry’s life. Their love and support for each other never wavered, even during Barry’s childhood when adults tried to convince Barry that he was wrong to believe Henry was innocent of murdering Nora Allen, Barry’s loving mother and Henry’s wife of eighteen years.

Henry was the one to finally convince Barry to stop chasing the impossible and start living his life away from the disappointment of the justice system, and once again, Henry was there to support Barry’s new life endeavors.

“I’m so proud of you, son,” Henry said to Barry after hearing all about Barry’s plans for Riley. “I have no doubt that you’ll make an excellent parent. Riley is lucky to have you in his life, just as I am.”

Barry didn’t bother trying to stop the tears falling down his face and he smiled under the praise from his father.

Barry sent Cisco a text before work Sunday night, telling him he was planning on becoming a foster parent and wanted to tell him more about it Monday when Cisco visited. He wasn’t surprised to receive a supportive, no explanation needed, response from his best friend.

**Cisco: Cool, man! Do you think we could get the kid to join us on Karaoke Nights? Or should we start making Wednesdays game night? 5:43pm**

**Barry: Cupid might be a bit much for a first outing. 5:44pm**

**Cisco: You’re right. I’ll make a list of the classic sci-fi films in order of educational importance. We’ll start with that to introduce him to the dark side ;) 5:46pm**

The conversation Barry had with his boss, Lisa, went much smoother than he expected as well. He’d been working at Saints and Sinners since he was eighteen and considered the hole-in-the-wall bar his main job. While other businesses refused to hire a foster-kid who lived on his own with a father in prison for murder, Lisa Snart didn’t seem to bat an eye at the scrawny kid begging for work. Barry started as a bar back, but was really a one-man cleaning crew and errand boy for the small, yet surprisingly busy and profitable, bar. Lisa seemed to admire Barry’s loyalty to her, especially after he stuck around after Barry earned his bartending license and eventually landed the gig at Cupid on their busiest nights.

Barry would never say that he was close with Lisa, but he felt they had a positive camaraderie and respectful working relationship. Still, he was nervous to approach the beautiful woman; Barry knew Lisa’s good looks and soft voice masked her ferocious strength. He’d witnessed her make grown men cry before escorting them from the premises if they took fights too far or said something she didn’t tolerate, which led to Barry changing Lisa’s name in his phone to Xena Warrior Princess.

“Hey, Lisa,” Barry started as he wiped down the bar. It was almost midnight, four hours into his shift with two hours left, and the customers were focused on their own business, like usual. “When you get a minute, can I talk to you about something?”

Lisa put her serving tray down so she could lean over the bar into Barry’s space, balancing on her forearms. Even though most men would consider this move from her as flirtatious, Barry knew better. He rarely made requests to talk, so Lisa was giving Barry her full attention and making it so that no one else in the bar could hear what he was about to say.

“Of course, cutie. I’ve got time for you right now. What do you need?” Lisa’s soft voice and focused stare made Barry nervous, even though he’d never experienced any unkind behavior from the woman who ran the bar. Barry realized he was afraid to disappoint Lisa; he didn't want to lose her approval.

“I was wondering if I could talk to you about changing some of my hours. I’m not going to be able to work nights for a little while...” Barry trailed off, not sure how Lisa was going to react to his request.

“Is that so?” Lisa looked him over for a few moments, evaluating Barry and trying to read the situation. “Are you finally leaving me for something better?”

“What? No! Of course not!” Barry fumbled through his shock, hoping Lisa wasn’t going to want him to leave his job that had been a steady routine for him over the past seven years. He really did love working at Saints and Sinners. He felt more comfortable there among the outcasts of society than he did most places, even Cupid.

“Well, that’s a relief. I’d miss seeing your skinny butt around here.” Lisa winked at Barry, causing him to grin at her teasing. “Why the sudden change? You’ve never asked to cut back hours, unless it’s an emergency.” Lisa tilted her head, giving Barry a once over, looking for something on his body to reveal some secret to her. She leaned in a little more, her words taking on a more serious tone than usual. “Do you need me to take care of someone for you, handsome? Someone causing you problems?”

Barry’s eyes widened in surprise. He knew Lisa had the resources to make problems go away, and even though the idea of her doing so frightened him a little, he was mostly touched at the concern she took toward him. Barry couldn’t help the blush that appeared on his face as he looked away to regain some composure.

“No, no it’s nothing like that, Lisa. But, thank you for the offer?” He didn’t mean to sound so unsure, but he wasn’t used to this level of protectiveness from the woman and Barry wasn’t sure what to do with it.

Lisa sat down on a stool, glancing around at the customers to make sure everyone was still behaving in her bar. She positioned herself to keep talking with Barry and not have her back to the open area anymore. She raised one perfectly sculpted eyebrow to indicate she expected Barry to offer her more of an explanation.

“I’m going to become a foster-parent, and while I get to know the kid, I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to work nights and leave him home alone.” Barry realized it was getting easier to talk confidently about fostering as he was starting to own his new role.

Lisa focused on Barry for a few moments, a small smile the only indication that she heard what Barry said. He wondered what she thought about his decision, but didn’t have time to dwell on his curiosity before Lisa stood up.

“Okay, Barry. I’m going to go get the schedule book and we can change your hours. Krystal wants some more closing time, so it’ll be no problem switching things up.” Lisa grinned at Barry’s obvious relief to her reaction. She glanced around the bar one more time, pausing briefly on the handsome older man sitting alone in a booth.

“While I run back to the office, will you take my brother a drink?” Barry was startled at her request, but quickly nodded his agreement.

“Yeah… uh, sure. That’s no problem.” Barry tried to hide his shaking hands by wiping down the already clean surface of the bar again. “W-What’s he drinking?”

Lisa smirked before replying, “Take him an Old Fashioned.” She sauntered off, leaving Barry to his task.

As Barry mixed the drink, he tried some deep breathing techniques to slow his heart rate down. Everyone knew Lisa’s brother by reputation, but few people ever approached the intimidating man. Typically, Lisa was the only person who served him, and she never referred to him as her brother, even though it was common knowledge. Mick, the main cook, would sometimes sit and talk with him during his breaks, but even Mick never seemed to fully relax in his presence.

Leonard Snart, infamously known as Captain Cold, was no stranger to Central City. Years ago, he made a reputation for himself as a master thief, pulling off heists without leaving behind any evidence. From what Barry overheard from regulars at Saints and Sinners, and what Joe warned him about when Barry revealed where he worked, Captain Cold truly made his presence known after getting into a turf war with the Santini’s, the Italian mob located in the city. Even though Captain Cold wasn’t a mob boss, he had his Rogues, and apparently didn’t like the way the Santini’s were operating in his city. So, through a lot of violence and rumored deaths that were never able to be pinned on him, Captain Cold broke the Santini’s holdings throughout the city and maintained order in the criminal underworld. People rarely challenged him after he usurped the Santini's, and those that did weren’t noticed around Central City afterward.

Barry’s nervousness toward the older man was undoubtedly based on a healthy amount of fear, but mostly his skittishness was due to the fact that Barry was severely attracted to the man. Captain Cold’s salt and pepper hair, physical yet slight frame, and confident swagger made Barry’s stomach ache in the best possible way. And his eyes… even from across the room Barry could tell he’d be easily lost gazing into those stormy blues if ever the chance presented itself.

After seven years of watching the man from afar, it looked like Barry was finally going to approach the feared Rogue and see how blue those eyes really were up close. He swallowed his nerves, praying he wouldn’t trip on his way over to the man he never thought he’d approach.

As Barry approached the table, he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to interact with the standoffish man. Captain Cold leaned back in his seat, casually placing his hand on his waist, most likely reaching for a concealed weapon.

“Hi!” Barry recoiled a bit at his high-pitched greeting. “Uh… Lisa told me to bring you a drink.”

Captain Cold sneered as Barry started to offer the glass of whiskey. “Did she now?”

The smooth drawl of his voice made Barry’s knees buckle slightly. _Get a grip_ , Barry chastised himself. _And try not to give him a reason to kill you._

“Y-yeah. She, uh… told me to bring you an Old Fashioned?” Barry shifted his weight to his heels and pulled back the drink as he waited for a response. He watched as the gorgeous man slowly roamed his eyes up and down Barry’s body. While the suspected criminal was most likely appraising Barry’s threat level, which was nil, Barry felt his entire body heat up from the man’s lingering gaze, which felt oddly intimate.

“Of course she did.” That low, velvety drawl hit Barry again, and he seriously considered walking away right then, but he found himself unable to move under the probing eye contact from the older man. Barry was right: it was easy for him to get lost looking at those piercing blue eyes.

“Do you want the drink? Or… umm, do you want something else from me?” Barry was fumbling to form coherent thoughts, but he didn’t miss the change in Captain Cold’s eyes or the smirk that took over his handsome face.

“I’m never one to turn down a better offer. What are you willing to give me?” After watching Barry struggle to respond to the suggestiveness of that question, Captain Cold took pity on Barry, only making him suffer through a few moments of awkwardness. “I’ll just take the drink, kid. For now.”

Quickly taking the out he was offered, Barry placed the drink down on the table and immediately retreated back behind the bar. Lisa was waiting for him, an impish look on her face, but didn’t comment. Instead, she got right down to business and allowed Barry to make all the changes he wanted to his schedule.

 

Barry shakes his head to help clear his mind away from his embarrassing interaction with a suspected murderer and focus on the present situation. He checks the time, noticing only a few minutes passed since the last time he checked. He looks around his apartment again, but there is nothing left for him to tidy up before Judy arrives to complete the home inspection. With Eddie's help, Iris finished moving out her things Monday before they had dinner with Joe. That conversation was as painful for Joe as Barry thought it’d be.

 

Iris followed through on her promise to use Barry as a scapegoat, and after some feeble arguing from Joe, he finally relented.

“Why don’t you move into a three-bedroom apartment?”

“Dad, Barry doesn’t have time to wait for a new place. Riley needs him now.”

“What if you guys moved in here?”

“Joe, you only have three bedrooms.”

“Well, Iris, you can move back home.”

“Yeah, that’s not going to happen. I love you dad, but I haven’t lived with you since I was eighteen. I’m not about to move back in now, even if I am going against the stereotype of my millennial generation.”

When Joe realized he was fighting a losing battle and started giving Iris the silent treatment, he did offer Barry his support in fostering Riley. He also asked for Riley’s personal information, most likely to run his own background check on the kid and his family. Barry knew that was Joe’s way of looking out for him, so he didn’t complain, even if Barry didn’t care to know about anything Joe might uncover.

 

A knock on the door makes Barry jump, even though he was expecting it. He opens the door to see Judy smiling, frazzled as ever but looking approvingly up at him. She gives him a quick squeeze in greeting before pushing past Barry and walking into his apartment.

“I’m so happy you were able to get everything ready so quickly, Barry. I knew you’d be able to, of course, and I’m glad you made your decision before Riley starts school. I think it will help him to get settled in with you before another change happens for him.”

Judy says this to Barry while she walks around the living room, making notes on a clipboard she has in her hand. She works her way into the small kitchen, opening the fridge and cabinets, and continues to make notes. “Did you have any more questions for me?”

Barry follows her into his bedroom, which is located off the living room. She quickly inspects his room, walk in closet, and master bathroom. “No, I think you covered everything already. And I read through the file you left me. He doesn’t have any medical or health issues, besides what he’s dealing with emotionally from his trauma. Is he still going to see the therapist you listed in his paperwork?”

“That’s up to you, now, Barry, but I think it’d be a good idea for him to continue to see someone regularly. He’s only met with this therapist twice, but he didn’t seem to have a negative reaction to her. I’ve sent other cases to Sharon, and she’s very patient with kids. If Riley is willing to meet with her, I don’t think you should look for someone else. Oh!” Judy stops as she looks in the utility room across from the kitchen. “You have a washer-dryer unit in your apartment? That’s so convenient!”

“Yeah, it was definitely one of the perks when Iris found this place for us. That, the rent control, and free heat in the winter makes me never want to leave. Plus, I love living on the top floor, and the neighbors are so quiet I hardly notice I have any.”

Judy closes the door and moves on to the second bathroom. “How is Iris? Is she still working at Picture News?”

“Yes,” Barry responds as he follows Judy into the second bedroom where Riley will stay. “She loves her job and earned a pretty respected position on staff.” Barry pauses as he watches Judy look over Iris’ old bed. His nerves are starting to creep back in.

“I plan on taking Riley to pick out his own things, but obviously this will be his room. Iris left her old bed and dresser for him, but he can change the comforter when he gets here. And I’ll have him pick out a desk and some new clothes for school. And anything else he might want. I figured I'd to wait to see if the high school will issue him a laptop before I buy him a computer. He can use mine for now.”

Judy looks up at Barry, patting his back as she passes him to look in the empty closet. She makes a few more notes before leading them back to the living room.

“That all sounds wonderful, Barry, and everything here looks good. I’m sure Riley will appreciate all of your effort, even if he doesn’t know how to verbalize his thanks right away.”

They sit down on the couch and look over the final paperwork together. As expected, Barry’s home passed easily. Barry realizes that was the final step before he can foster Riley, and he looks up at Judy with hesitant eyes. She squeezes his shoulder, offering him reassurance.

“I’ll turn in this paperwork today, and then tomorrow I will drop Riley off to live with you. What time will you be done with work?”

“Tomorrow?” Barry feels his chest tighten and his palms start to sweat as he thinks about how much will change for him in less than twenty-four hours. “Riley can come that soon?”

“Yes. I think the sooner he can start his new life with you the better. There’s nothing left making us wait, unless you need more time.” Judy searches Barry’s face for answers and seems happy with her findings.

“No, you’re right,” Barry finds himself whispering. He steadies himself and straightens his back to sit taller, trying to exude confidence. “I’m ready for Riley to be here. I don’t want him to stay in the group home any longer than he has to.”

“Wonderful!” Judy beams at Barry, and he can’t help but smile as he soaks in her approval. “What time should I bring him home?”

_Home_ , Barry thinks. _This is going to be Riley’s home_. “I’ll leave work early tomorrow, so how about you come by at two?”

“That should work perfectly.” Judy walks to the door before she turns around to give Barry another hug. “Thank you,” she whispers. “Thank you for helping Riley. I know this is going to work out.”

“Of course.” Barry smiles down at Judy. “I’ll do everything I can to give Riley the home he deserves.”

As Barry locks the door behind Judy, he takes a deep, grounding breath. _Tomorrow, I’m going to be a foster-parent. I’ll have a kid living with me, relying on me._

Barry has a few hours before his last night shift at Saints and Sinners. He knows Lisa will let him leave work early tomorrow to welcome Riley to his home. Barry idly wonders if her brother will be at the bar tonight. Maybe focusing on Captain Cold and how nervous the man makes him will distract Barry from his anxiety about tomorrow.

_Barry Allen, foster-parent_. He smiles as he lets that idea marinate in his mind. As Barry starts singing while preparing a late lunch, he ponders what a difference a few days can make on his perspective. He wonders what Riley thinks about the changes happening tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! The next chapter will introduce Riley. I'm still debating on if I want to keep Barry as the narrator, or switch between Barry, Riley, and maybe Len, since he decided to join our story earlier than I anticipated. I love Barry and Len together, and it looks like their slow burn is going to be part of this story after all :)


	4. Riley

The drive to Riley’s new foster home takes about twenty minutes through town. Judy picked him up at 1:30 and he was in her car with his duffle bag and backpack within ten minutes. There wasn’t anyone Riley wanted to say goodbye to, but Judy seems to value manners and she waited for him to mumble a _thank you_ and _bye_ to the woman who ran the group. He thinks her name was Martha.

As Judy parks the car on the street, Riley looks up at the apartment building. The three-story building is plain, doesn’t look expensive, and sits two blocks off the main road. There are a few identical buildings along the street. He wonders if Judy will take him back to the same group home after this placement doesn’t work or put him with new people again. Riley doesn’t really care, but he’d like to stay put for longer than a couple months, or a week like the recent group home. Having to figure out new people and sleeping on different beds is starting to get annoying.

Judy seems optimistic about the man she’s taking Riley to live with. She hasn’t told him much about his new foster-dad, but Riley knows he’s single, a friend of Judy’s, and hasn’t fostered before. _Poor guy was given a tough break for his first case_ , Riley thinks. _Hopefully, he’ll still will want to foster after he gets tired of me_.

In what feels like no time at all, Riley and Judy are standing outside 3B. He doesn’t even remember walking up the flight of stairs. Riley feels his body stiffen as Judy knocks. He looks down at the light coming through the space at the bottom of the door and tries to control his breathing when he sees shadows moving. When the door opens, he grips his duffle bag a little tighter and waits for one of the adults to make the first move.

“Barry! So good to see you again.” Judy’s voice is chipper and louder than he was expecting. Riley winces a little but doesn’t think anyone noticed. After giving the man a hug, Judy steps off to the side. “This is Riley.”

Riley slowly moves his gaze up to the man’s face, noticing he’s wearing dark jeans and a solid maroon t-shirt. Riley’s worn jeans and grey long-sleeve shirt don’t seem as out of place here like they did with his last foster-parents; they were always dressed up, even if they didn’t plan on leaving the house. His foster-mom tried to make Riley wear the stiff clothes she bought him, saying that someone could stop by any time and they’d need to be prepared to greet them. Luckily, she didn’t force Riley to change too often, only when she knew she’d have company. Even then, she’d typically dismiss him to his room while she talked with her friends over tea.

Riley is brought out of his memory when a tentative but upbeat voice addresses him.

“Hi… I’m Barry. Barry Allen.” The man in front of Riley reaches out to shake hands. Riley slowly switches his duffle to his left hand to return the pleasantry. “Riley. Whitcomb,” he whispers before taking his hand back and looking away.

Riley doesn’t want Barry to see him looking shocked. _How old is this guy?_ _Surely Judy wouldn’t have placed me with someone not even old enough to drink?_ He doesn’t have time for more questions to form in his mind before the man speaks again.

“Uh… sorry! Come on in.” Barry moves quickly, leaving room for Judy to waltz into the open room and take a seat on the couch. Riley follows her lead and sits on the edge of the oversized chair, not removing his backpack.

“Do either of you want something to drink? I have water. Or I can make coffee. I need to go to the store, but figured I’d wait for you to get here, Riley, so that I could be sure to buy things you like.” Barry rushes through his words. His voice sounds shaky, but his volume doesn’t increase and his tone remains calm.

“Water would be nice. Thank you, Barry.” Judy looks at Riley, expecting him to respond.

“Sure.”

As they wait for the water, Riley can feel Judy watching him, so he keeps staring at his knees. He’ll have time to look around the apartment when Barry leaves.

Riley takes the glass of water handed to him and rests it on his thigh. Barry gives Judy hers before sitting down on the other side of the couch. Riley sneaks a glance over to his new foster-dad. Barry catches him and offers a quick smile before Judy breaks the silence.

“How was work today, Barry?”

“Oh… fine.” Barry turns to look at Judy, and before he can make eye contact with him again, Riley looks down and takes a small drink of water to create a barrier between them. “There aren’t a lot of customers in the morning, so I did some inventory and cleaning.”

Riley wonders if Barry works at a store. He seems too young to be an owner or manager. He feels Barry looking at him again. “My boss gave me a few days off work, to, uh… let Riley and me have time to get… acquainted.”

When Riley looks back at Barry, the man is rubbing the back of his neck, but offers a hesitant smile again. _Great_ , Riley thinks. _He already doesn’t trust me to be in his home alone_.

“That’s so thoughtful,” Judy beams as she pats Barry’s leg. She turns her attention to Riley. “Is there anything you want to discuss or ask me before I take off?”

Riley isn’t sure what she wants him to talk about; it’s not like he has any say in what happens. He shrugs his shoulder, but Judy keeps looking at him, waiting. Out of the corner of his eye, Riley notices Barry’s hands keep moving: running through hair, wiping across his pants, rubbing together. Riley shakes his head since they’re both still looking at him. Judy waits a little longer before she decides to accept his nonverbal response.

“Well, if you’re both okay, then I need to take off.” She stands up and Barry follows her, taking back the glass of water. “I’ll give you a call sometime next week to check in and see how things are going. Goodbye, Riley.”

“Bye,” he whispers. Riley watches the adults go to the door. They hug again and say something he can’t hear. _Probably Judy telling Barry to call him as soon as he changes his mind_. The man is clearly nervous about having Riley around; he absently ponders how long Barry will try to act like he can handle fostering Riley before he gives up. The last couple only survived a few months, but Riley suspects they asked Judy to come get him weeks before he was actually removed.

Barry goes to the kitchen and puts the glass in the sink. Riley flinches at the sound. He doesn’t like having his back to the noise behind him, but still doesn’t move. Instead, he waits tensely for what Barry decides to do next.

“This apartment isn’t big, but the layout gives us enough space to not feel like we’re on top of each other.” Barry talks quickly again, but his voice is soft, almost soothing. “You’re welcome to use anything here, and if you need help working something, just ask.”

Riley hears Barry move behind him, but he doesn’t come back into the living room. When he speaks again, Barry is standing next to an open door to the right of where Riley’s sitting.

“This is my room. I have my own bathroom in here, so I won’t ever use yours.” Barry pauses for a few moments. Riley turns his head a little and he can see into Barry’s room just enough to make out another door, most likely to the mentioned bathroom. Barry looks down the hall before he continues.

“Your bathroom is next to your bedroom. There are towels, floor rugs, and a shower curtain. And some hand soap. But when we go to the store, you can pick out new ones and anything you need to shower. And a new bed set. Right now, you have purple sheets and a floral comforter. Everything is clean, but I don’t expect you to keep using any of the stuff that’s already there.”

Riley suspects his new foster-dad is a nervous talker. Barry’s getting close to saying more to him in a few minutes than Martha did the past week. Granted, she only wanted to talk to Riley about rules and consequences. He's surprised Barry didn't lead with that part; usually adults like to remind kids they're at the bottom of the power hierarchy. _As if I could forget_.

“I’m starting to get hungry and we need to go shopping today, so how about I let you unpack and check out your rooms to see what you need to buy? We can leave in about an hour… grab an early dinner before going to the store? It’s never good for me to shop when I’m hungry…”

Barry waits for Riley to respond. When he doesn’t, Barry seems to take the silence as an agreement. “Okay, great. I’ll let you do your thing then. Let me know if you have any questions or need anything before we leave.”

Barry walks into his bedroom, leaving Riley still sitting in the living room chair. _I guess he isn’t going to try to make me talk to him_ , Riley muses. He hears what sounds like a body flopping onto a bed, followed quickly by humming. Riley waits, giving Barry time to change his mind and come back out into the living room.

Looking around for the first time, Riley notices a sliding door that leads out to a small balcony directly across from him. There’s a nice tv set up across from the couch with a blue-ray player and gaming console visible. A dvd rack is filled up with movies, two end tables frame the couch with a few pictures on them, and a coffee table sits parallel to the couch where the remote controllers and coasters rest. A large black and white picture of lightning striking a tree hangs above the couch, and on another wall is a movie poster of “Singing in the Rain.”

Barry hasn’t left his bedroom, so Riley thinks it’s safe for him to get up and check out his room. He picks up his duffle and walks as quietly as he can to the back of the apartment. The kitchen is small with a bar top and two stools situated between the kitchen and living room. There’s a microwave and Keurig sitting on the counter by the stove and a drying rack by the sink. A door across from the kitchen is closed, but Riley isn’t sure if he’s allowed to open it, so he walks past it to last two open rooms.

He leans into the bathroom and notices a shower curtain with shades of green, tan, and grey leaves decorating the white fabric. The hand towel and rugs match the green from the curtain. A grey trashcan and generic soap are the only other things Riley can see without opening the cupboard or closet doors. He continues into the last room, his bedroom, and first notices the dark purple drapes on the sides of the large windows on the back wall. There’s a bed to the right with the promised floral printed comforter that is also purple. _Did a girl live here with Barry?_

Besides a nightstand and dresser, there’s nothing else in the room even though there’s plenty of space for more furniture. This is the largest room Riley’s ever had to himself; even his bedroom with the fancy foster-parents was smaller, but he suspects that room was originally an office. Riley steps into the large closet and drops his duffle bag. There are racks on both sides of the closet to hang clothes and a shelf above them. On the wall directly across from the door is floor to ceiling open shelving. All of Riley’s clothes fit neatly on two shelves and in one dresser drawer. He can’t imagine having enough stuff to fill all the space in his room, let alone his closet.

Riley decides not to unpack his backpack and slides it under his bed for now. He spends the next forty minutes sitting on the queen-sized mattress and gazing out the window, not thinking about anything.

Eventually, Barry makes some noise in the kitchen opening the cabinets and fridge. After a few minutes, he knocks on Riley’s door even though it was still open. Riley looks over at the man leaning against the wall in the hallway.

“The bus will be at the corner in about ten minutes. Are you ready to go?” Riley gets up and walks over to Barry, handing him the empty glass from earlier. “You can put that in the sink. We’ll wash it when we get back.” Barry offers a quick smile before turning and walking back to the living room.

Riley follows him, putting the glass in the sink as instructed, and notices Barry grab a set of keys off the wall. “We’ll get a house key made for you while we’re out today.” Barry checks his pockets and then opens the front door.

 _He’s giving me a key to his apartment? I didn’t think he was going to leave me unsupervised_. Riley walks out of the open door and waits in the stairwell for Barry to lock up behind him.

Barry doesn’t look back as he heads down the stairs. Riley follows after him quickly, not wanting to lose sight of his new foster-parent. He checks the street signs when they get outside to make sure he knows where he lives now. When they get to the bus stop on the main road, Riley feels Barry looking at him. Riley keeps his hands in his pockets and his eyes on the ground.

“How does Big Belly Burger sound for an early dinner? I’m craving a double cheeseburger and milkshake with fries.” Barry sounds excited and Riley can’t help but agree with that sentiment, but he doesn’t physically react to Barry’s words. Riley can’t remember the last time he had Big Belly Burger; he thinks it was when he was with his first foster-family, and that was about a year ago. He can’t stop his mouth from watering just thinking about the greasy goodness he’s been promised by the eager man next to him.

Riley looks up at his foster-dad and nods, which earns him a brilliant smile from Barry before the man steps onto the bus that arrived. Riley lets a small grin cross his face as he follows up the steps, but quickly relaxes his expression before sitting down next to Barry.

 

Riley is surprised to find himself tired around midnight. Most nights, he has trouble falling asleep, but after keeping up with Barry’s endless energy on their shopping trip today, Riley thinks he’ll have no problem passing out on his new bed. It probably helps that he ate two huge dinners of burger and pizza, food he hasn’t eaten in quite some time.

He’s sitting in the oversized chair again, but this time he’s lounging sideways with his feet up so that he can see the tv without turning his head. When they finally finished running errands, Barry told Riley that his friend Cisco was coming over for pizza and a movie. Apparently, they have a standing date night on Wednesdays and weren’t planning on changing that just because Riley was around.

Cisco was not what Riley expected, and he can’t help but be intrigued by the man. He works at Star Labs, a big science research facility in town, and he and Barry have been friends for a few years. He’s not sure how they met, but the two of them talk so much that Riley will probably find that out, and more than he wants to know, before long.

Whereas Barry has been holding back with his physical interactions with Riley, Cisco had no qualms jumping right in from the moment they met.

 

Barry didn’t make Riley come out of his room to greet Cisco, but after the pizza arrived, they all found themselves in the small kitchen area together. Riley tried to hang back and wait until the adults were finished, but Cisco marched right up to Riley as soon as he appeared.

“Hey, buddy!” For a small man, Cisco had a lot of strength, almost lifting Riley off the ground during their hug. Riley awkwardly patted his back, shocked at the embrace.

“I’m Cisco, Barry’s best friend, which makes me your… uncle? Best friend once removed? If you’re his kid now, are you going to call him dad? Or -”

“Cisco.” Riley hadn’t heard Barry’s voice be so stern, but it was nice to know he had it in him. Most of the day he seemed like a puppy, and Riley still wasn’t convinced Barry was old enough to foster kids. “Riley is my foster-child, and legally I’m his foster-parent. But, I’m just Barry. He has a dad, even if they don’t live together.”

 _Huh. That was… something_. Riley watched Barry glare at his friend, but Cisco didn’t seem phased by the reprimand. _At least I know I can call him Barry. Mr. Allen would’ve been… weird._

“Right,” Cisco looked back at Riley, still smiling. “Then, I’m Cisco, and I have room for another best friend role if you’re in the market.” As Cisco took his plate of pizza to the living room, he purposefully bumped into Riley’s shoulder and winked at him.

Riley sat down at the bar top to eat his dinner instead of joining the two friends in the living room. At the same time, Cisco grabbed a bag and sat on the stool next to him. He pulled out eight videos and asked Riley which one he wanted to start with. When Riley didn’t respond, Cisco proceeded to explain the merits of each film and somehow took Riley’s blank expression to mean they should watch the first Jurassic Park movie followed by the newest one, Jurassic World.

Barry offered an apologetic shrug as Riley followed Cisco into the living room after the man stole Riley’s plate of pizza and put it on the coffee table. “If you want to do something else after you eat, that’s alright, but we would love for you to join us for movie night,” Barry offered.

Riley wasn’t expecting to be included, but Barry looked so hopeful and Cisco looked like he’d drag Riley back out into the living room if he tried to leave. It’s not like Riley had any other plans, so he decided to stay for both movies and listen to the men debate the scientific accuracies of the films and the benefits of different dinosaur hybrids. Thankfully, neither of them tried to force Riley to engage in their nerdy conversations.

 

Cisco leaves after the second movie, but not before he grabs Riley’s shoulder and turns him around for another hug. “Ry-man, it was fun hanging out with you! Text me if you have any requests for this weekend or just want to chat.”

Riley found out that Barry has to work Saturday, so Cisco is babysitting. He doesn’t feel prepared for an entire day of Cisco, but Riley knows he doesn’t have a choice. He also knows he won’t be texting the man.

He’s still amazed Cisco somehow convinced Riley to hand over his brand-new phone so that Cisco could add his contact information. Riley now has three contacts in the phone Barry made him pick out today: Cisco, Barry, and Judy. Barry told him to add Judy incase he ever needed someone and couldn’t get ahold of Barry, or if it was about Barry. Riley isn’t sure if he should feel grateful or worried about that suggestion.

“Goodnight, Riley,” Barry says to Riley’s back as he retreats to his new bedroom. “I hope you had a good day... I -”

Riley waits for Barry to finish what he wants to say before he continues to his room. “I’m glad you’re here, and I want you to know that you can talk to me… about anything… whenever you’re ready.” Riley turns his head slightly so he can see Barry. His foster-dad is rubbing the back of his neck and not looking at Riley.

“You… uh. I will…” Barry looks around and sees Riley watching him. They both look away.

“My bedroom door will be open, so if you need anything tonight, please come wake me up.” Riley can feel Barry looking at him again. “Goodnight, Riley. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Riley tries to mumble a _goodnight_ , but it gets stuck in his throat. He heads to his bathroom, which is now filled with his personal items they bought today. Then, Riley quietly shuts his bedroom door before he climbs into bed.

It’s easy for Riley to get comfortable on the queen mattress, and he finds he likes the feel of the floral comforter surrounding him. He closes his eyes and lets out a deep exhale, hoping he’ll fall asleep quickly. Most likely, he’ll have nightmares tonight; he does every time he stays in a new place. Riley thinks his room is far enough away from Barry’s that he won’t hear, but his new foster-dad seems to be oddly perceptive.

Usually, it’s easy for Riley to figure out the adults around him. They are obvious in their motivation or opinions toward him, or are quick to tell Riley exactly how they feel and want him to behave. But Barry keeps surprising him. The man doesn’t try to force Riley into acting a certain way, and, so far, gives him a lot of choices, even when Riley doesn’t want to make decisions.

Remembering little things from today confuses Riley, but also makes him want to smile, like when Barry handed him a house key and told him to pick out a key chain, or when he told Riley to pick out the phone he wanted and refused to move until Riley did just that, or even when Barry scolded Cisco, his friend, and said what Riley wished he could’ve said in his own defense. Barry is a strange man, but so far, Riley likes him better than the other people he’s been forced to live with.

 _It’s only day one_ , Riley tells himself. _Things will change_. Riley falls asleep reminding himself not to get too comfortable in this new world, no matter how good it seems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to let Riley and Barry take turns telling this story. I have a detailed outline for the first week they spend together, but as I'm discovering, the characters sometimes have a mind of their own and I have to throw away the plan :) As always, thank you for reading! I hope to have the next chapter up on Sunday, and it will be from Barry's perspective.


	5. Appointments and a Talk

Unsettled.

That’s the best word Barry can think of to describe how he’s feeling sitting in a therapist’s waiting room again. When he was first placed in foster care, he fought with adults for three years because they wanted to “correct his thinking.” Barry swore he’d never go to therapy again, yet, here he was. _The things we do for our kids_ , Barry thinks. Thankfully, he isn’t the patient this time around, and if therapy is a positive and helpful experience for Riley, Barry will be supportive.

To try to distract himself from his own burdensome memories, Barry looks over the paperwork he picked up at Riley’s high school before his appointment. The first day of school is Tuesday and since Riley will be a freshman, there was a lot of new information to acquire. Even though Riley will attend the same high school Barry did, a lot has changed since Barry graduated over seven years ago. He is thankful that the school offered an informational pickup day, otherwise Barry wouldn’t know half of what he learned this morning. 

It took about an hour to walk through all the booths regarding anything from purchasing a yearbook and taking a yearbook photo to signing up for sports and clubs to renting out the school issued laptops for student use. Before they walked around, Barry met with the assistant principal and Riley’s assigned counselor to make sure the school was updated about Barry being Riley’s foster-parent and now legal guardian. Judy already informed the administrators, of course, but there was some paperwork Barry had to fill out. He made Iris and Cisco emergency contacts.

Similar to the day before, Riley appeared apathetic in what was happening around him. He didn’t give any indication that he wanted to participate in extracurriculars, but Barry picked up the paperwork for everything anyway. Barry believes getting the kid involved in any activity after school would be beneficial to Riley’s emotional improvement, so he'll come up with a way to broach the topic later. 

Barry looks at Riley’s schedule for the first semester. His classes are all general: Earth Science, English, Algebra, College and Career Readiness, Introduction to 2D Art, Spanish 1, and Physical Education. According to the records from middle school that Barry saw in the file Judy left for him, Riley is an average student, earning a 2.2 GPA in eighth grade. The gradebook printouts showed that Riley’s tests scores were mostly in the B and C range, but he had quite a few missing assignments in most of his classes. Barry also noticed that Riley’s grades continued to decline each grading period of his last semester, with Ds in three of his classes at the end of the year.

He hopes that Riley will start off strong in high school, but realistically Barry knows that Riley’s depression is probably affecting his motivation in school, so Barry will have to find ways to help Riley without making him even more reluctant to engage. School was never an issue for Barry, at least in the sense of wanting to do the schoolwork. Barry always loved learning, especially in science, but he did struggle with his anger and defiance toward his peers and a couple teachers that resulted in a few suspensions.

The first strategy Barry wants to try in the hopes of helping their new family unit is sharing a calendar. Especially with Barry’s new work schedule, he wants to make sure they are communicating and prepared for what the week will look like so that they don't forget anything and there are no surprises for either of them. He also hopes a visual will help Riley feel included in Barry’s life and maybe even encourage Riley to fill out his days with fun activities.

Barry plans to have a “family talk” tonight during dinner about using the dry-erase calendar he bought to keep track of both of their schedules, meals, and activities. He wonders if he’ll need to schedule “family talks” into their week or if that will start happening naturally. _I’ve got to get him to verbally respond to me before any kind of talk will be “natural_ ,” Barry realizes.

The door to the therapist’s office swings open, drawing Barry out of his planning. He gathers up the papers in his lap and stands to greet the woman approaching him.

“Thank you for waiting, Mr. Allen. Riley and I are finished for today if you’d like to join us for a few minutes.” Dr. Sharon Finkel steps aside to let Barry enter her office. Riley is sitting in a chair looking vacantly up at an abstract drawing on the wall. He's wearing jeans and a hunter green long-sleeve shirt today. Even though he showered this morning, Riley's dark brown hair looks messy and his bangs are long, falling into his eyes a little. Barry wonders if the kid spoke at all during the fifty-minute session.

“With your permission, I’d like to schedule weekly appointments with Riley for the next two months.” Dr. Finkel sits down in a chair across from Riley and picks up a large appointment book. Barry follows her lead and takes the empty chair next to Riley.

“Of course, Dr. Finkel,” Barry responds. He still doesn’t feel comfortable, but he knows that it has nothing to do with the gentle-looking woman in front of him. Dr. Finkel is a small, older woman who has a soft yet firm voice and probing but kind eyes. She perches on the edge of her chair so that her feet can reach the ground.

“What day and time will work best for you?”

“Well…” Barry looks to Riley, but his foster-kid is still looking at the painting. “Since school starts next week, can we keep Thursdays but change the time to 3:00? The school day ends at 2:10, and today we took a bus here from the high school which took about thirty minutes.”

“Yes, I do have that time slot available. Can I schedule you for the next eight weeks?” Dr. Finkle looks up at Barry, but Barry looks to Riley before answering.

“Riley? Does that sound okay to you, or would you like to come at a different time?”

“That’s fine.” Barry tries to control his shocked reaction to Riley answering out loud.

“Do you think you’ll feel comfortable taking the bus by yourself to get here? I’ll still be at work then.”

Barry holds his breath waiting for Riley to speak again, but this time he simply nods his head.

“Okay,” Barry looks back to the therapist. “You can schedule Riley for the next two months.”

“Alright. Riley, great job today. Mr. Allen,” Dr. Finkel stands up and reaches out to shake Barry’s hand. He mirrors her actions and notices Riley stands up as well. “Thank you. Do you have my number in case you need to cancel?”

“Yes. But, uh… what about payments? How does that work?”

“You don’t have to worry about that.” Dr. Finkel walks both boys to the door. “Since Riley is in the foster care system, the state covers the costs of our sessions. I bill them directly.”

“Oh.” Barry didn’t know therapy was one of the expenses that would be covered. “Okay, then… I guess Riley will see you next week.”

“Great. See you later, Riley.” She pats Riley on his shoulder as he walks passed her.

“Bye, Dr. Finkel.” Riley keeps walking out of the office and waiting room. He's small for his age, but apparently quick when he wants to be. Barry gives an awkward wave goodbye to the therapist before catching up to the teenager. They walk to the street corner and wait in silence for the bus to arrive to take them home.

 

Dinner was a quite affair that evening. Barry remembered how off he felt after his therapy appointments as a kid, so he wanted to give Riley space to work through anything that was lingering after his time with Dr. Finkel. Barry prepared a taco bar and left his music playing quietly so that neither of them would feel pressured to fill the silence. Of course, that didn’t stop Barry from sneaking glances at his foster-kid or trying to come up with something to say that would elicit a verbal response from Riley.

Silence was always difficult for Barry. He likes sound, especially music, and finds it helpful to express himself out loud. Usually he does this by talking to Iris, but he’ll also sing or go for a jog through the noisy city to help rid his body of excess energy.

Barry worries that since Riley has barely spoken twenty words in the past two days or engaged in any activity other than following Barry's lead, the kid might not have an outlet for his emotions. Letting feelings fester is never good, and it appears that Riley’s feelings are so heavy he can barely make it through the day; Barry imagines a heavy bag on Riley’s back and weights shackled to his limbs. The pressure of whatever the kid experienced before Barry met him was just too much, and Barry wasn’t sure how to help lift some of the burden off his tiny shoulders.

After two large helpings, Barry was full, and Riley was just pushing food around his plate now. The portion of food Riley scooped onto his plate was smaller than what a growing teenage boy needed, but Barry didn’t want to micromanage unless absolutely necessary. After hearing Riley struggle through nightmares last night, Barry assumes sleep is difficult for the teenager, so maybe Riley will raid the fridge’s leftovers in the middle of the night.

With a deep sigh, Barry decides now is as good a time as any to try to have a family talk.

“I don’t know if you noticed, but I bought a big calendar yesterday when we were shopping.” Barry turns his body a little more toward Riley and the kid puts his fork down. “One thing that frustrates me is not knowing the plan. I, uh… guess I feel like I have more… control… when I know what to expect.”

Riley turns his head slightly, clearly listening to what Barry said. The older man takes that as a good sign.

“So, I thought we could use the calendar to help us plan out our days. That way, we’ll know what’s going on and neither of us will be surprised. If our plans change, we should still tell each other, and then also mark it on the calendar, so we don’t forget. Do you think we can do that? Together?”

It takes a few minutes for Riley to respond. Barry has to start counting in his head so that he doesn’t interrupt the silence and allows time for Riley to process his request. Instant relief floods through Barry when the kid answers.

“Okay.” Barry worries that he might be setting the bar too low when one word feels like an award-winning speech. He decides to worry about that later.

“Great!” Barry clears his throat and stands up to retrieve the calendar from his bedroom. When he returns to the bar top, he moves his plate out of the way, places the calendar down to write on it, and spreads out the colored dry-erase markers in front of Riley. The red, blue, green, black, purple, and orange markers keep rolling until Riley reaches up to stop them.

“So, uh… I guess we should figure out which colors to use. You and I both need our own color. And maybe one for holidays and fun activities? And I was thinking we could write down our dinner plans. Is there anything else you can think of that we should include?” Barry waits for Riley to respond and receives a head shake a few moments later.

“Okay. Then, what color should be for me, for you, and for both of us together?”

Riley looks down at the markers under his hand. He takes a minute to decide before handing Barry the red marker.

“You can use red. Can I use blue?” Riley looks at Barry out of the corner of his eyes while keeping his head down. Barry smiles before replying.

“That’s perfect! What color for things we do together?” Barry tries to contain his excitement that Riley is verbally interacting with him.

“Purple.”

The smile on Barry’s face grows even larger at Riley’s clever color choices and he feels his cheeks straining from the pressure. “That’s a great idea. Do you want to write down your schedule?”

Riley shakes his head and continues to look at the markers. Barry says out loud what he writes down on the board. He uses black to fill out the dates, then writes his work schedule in red. Using blue, Barry writes “ _school starts”_ on next Tuesday and “ _DF@3”_ on every Thursday. He grabs the purple marker and fiddles with it before explaining to Riley his Sunday ritual.

“Umm, I’m not sure how much Judy told you about me… but, uh… every Sunday I go visit my dad in the morning.” Riley doesn’t respond to this information, so Barry knows Judy didn’t tell him about his family history. “My dad is in Iron Heights Prison… for… murdering my mom.”

Riley jerks upright on the stool and casts an incredulous look at Barry with his dark brown eyes. It’s the most directly he’s faced Barry since they met. Before Riley has more time to freak out, Barry rushes out an abbreviated version of his dad’s predicament.

“He’s innocent! I swear, my dad didn’t kill my mom.” Riley’s expression only changes slightly, adding in skepticism. “I was eleven when it happened, and I saw the man in yellow stab my mom. But no one believed me... they thought I was protecting my dad."

Barry gives Riley time to process what he said, but the kid still doesn't move. Barry continues, trying to convince Riley of the truth. "There was no evidence left by the real murderer. My dad was covered in my mom’s blood and his fingerprints were on the knife. But he was a doctor... he tried to save her...”

Barry looks away from Riley, taking a few moments to allow his memories to pass before continuing. He feels the kid studying him, watching Barry try to swallow down the bitter memories that still haunt him. Barry isn’t sure how his foster-kid is going to react to this news; he briefly considers Riley may ask to be removed from Barry’s care, which causes a new pain to form in Barry’s chest.

“I visit my dad every Sunday,” Barry whispers, now too nervous to look at Riley. He rubs the back of his neck, turning his head slightly to see Riley still frozen. “I thought… I was hoping…” Barry lets out an agitated sigh at his struggle to form the words he wants. “If you feel comfortable with it, I’d like for both of us to visit my dad, and then spend the rest of the day doing something fun together.”

Riley doesn’t respond or move.

Barry forces himself to look at Riley before he continues. He wants to make sure Riley believes his sincerity. “You can say no, and I promise I won’t be mad. Really… I don’t want you to go if you feel… if you… don’t want to go.”

Riley is still looking at him and Barry is relieved that his foster-kid doesn’t seem afraid. Barry waits for as long as Riley needs to respond; this is important, and he wants Riley to be honest about how he feels with this situation. After a few minutes, which feel like hours to Barry, Riley asks a question.

“Is that how you know Judy?” Riley's voice is soft and deeper than Barry expected. 

“What?” Barry anticipated a lot of reactions from the teenager, but that one hadn’t crossed his mind.

“Is that how you and Judy know each other?” Riley repeats calmly. He talks in with an even pace, not rushing through words like Barry often does. “Because your dad was taken away after your mom… Was Judy your social worker, too?”

If Barry wasn’t so anxious right now, he’d be impressed with Riley’s ability to form connections and make deductive reasoning. Instead, all he manages is a shaky, “Y-yes.”

Riley searches Barry’s face, then looks around the space in front of them. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Barry doesn’t understand, and Riley is kind enough to clarify.

“Okay, I’ll go with you. To see your dad.” Riley plays with the markers that are still in front of him. When he is certain Riley doesn’t have any more to say, Barry gently places his hand on top of Riley’s, stilling its movement.

“Thank you.” Barry squeezes Riley’s hand and then the moment is over.

Both boys make small adjustments on their stools as Barry continues to fill out their purple schedule. Riley seems to retreat back into himself, but the silence isn’t as painful for Barry as it was earlier. After debating options on where to hang the calendar, with Riley simply shrugging when asked his opinion, Barry finally decides to hang it on the wall next to the door to the utility closet.

It’s too early to go to bed and Barry doesn’t want either of them to be alone with their thoughts, so he cues up Hulu. Riley sits in the chair Barry is starting to think of as his. Adventure Time always makes Barry feel light-hearted, so he plays the pilot, unsure if Riley’s ever seen the cartoon. After a few episodes, both of them seem to be relaxed and enjoying the calmness of the evening.

 

As Barry climbs into bed a few hours later, he thinks over his first two days as a foster-parent. He doesn’t think he messed anything up yet, but he’s nervous about the next few days. Barry called off work at Cupid tomorrow, but still has to work Saturday which will take him away from Riley for most of the day. Thankfully, Cisco agreed to come over and stay the night so the teenager won’t be alone his first week in a new home.

_Maybe Riley will open up with Cisco when I’m not around_ , Barry hopes. He makes a mental note to do some more research on ways Barry can help Riley navigate through his trauma and depression. Maybe he can ask Judy for some resources when she calls to check in.

A small grin crosses Barry’s face as he closes his eyes. He knows that his conversation with Riley about Henry was huge and Barry is relieved that Riley was able to verbalize his opinion. Thankful to have discovered a truth he and Riley have in common, Barry falls into a peaceful sleep with a comforting thought: _We both trust Judy_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoying reading this story as much as I enjoy writing it! The characters continue to surprise me and mess up my carefully made plans, but I think they're setting me up for some great moments in the future. I have a crazy week coming up (work, cousin having a baby, puppy-sitting, aunt visiting, mother's day), so I'm not sure when I'll post the next chapter. I'll try to make it longer to make up for the wait, and it will involve Riley telling us about his weekend and possibly meeting some Rogues.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and comments/criticisms welcome!


	6. Introductions

As they approach the building Barry works in at eight Monday morning, Riley wonders two things: _is it safe for me to walk in there_ and _how much can Barry possibly make working here_? A colorful sign attached to a pitchfork pole identifies the structure as “Saints  & Sinners.” The reddish exterior is cracking and the windows and door have a gray coloring around them, making it look like the openings were cut out after the fact and no one cared enough to make it look uniform. The metal screens over the windows and door send a chill through Riley, causing him to surreptitiously looks around for danger.

“Don’t worry. It looks much better inside.”

Barry must have noticed his hesitancy. Riley’s foster-dad does that a lot: notices feelings Riley thinks he’s hiding and then addresses it without making it seem like a big deal. He supposes that makes sense considering how emotional Barry is, at least based on what Riley witnessed yesterday.

 

 

Riding the bus to Iron Heights Prison took about an hour and a half. Barry was an energized bundle of nerves the entire time, bouncing his legs, fidgeting with anything his hands could find, looking around anxiously, randomly sharing details about the prison or his dad, and asking three different times if Riley was certain he was comfortable meeting Henry. Barry probably would’ve kept asking except Riley snapped at him the third time.

“Yes, Barry. I already told you. Repeatedly. I’m not a liar.”

Barry’s eyes widened at the harsh tone and then he apologized, which simultaneously annoyed Riley even more and made him feel guilty.

“No! I know! I wasn’t… I didn’t mean… Of course, I’m so sorry. I’m just really nervous, I guess.” Barry rubbed the back of his neck and stopped making eye contact when he said, “I’ve never taken anyone to meet my dad before.”

All Riley could do was nod his head, his voice caught in his throat. He wished Barry didn’t explain his feelings so much; Riley is never sure how to respond to the man’s vulnerability, so he usually doesn’t say anything. Thankfully, a non-verbal response was enough for Barry to settle down for a few minutes before the man returned to sharing information about the guards that would most likely be on duty.

When they finally made it into the room to talk with Henry, Riley felt exhausted from the introductions that took place on the walk through the prison. Apparently, every person who worked at Iron Heights knew Barry, and his foster-dad knew personal information about all of them. Barry asked a variety of questions:

“How did Sally’s science fair project turn out?”

“How’s your wife’s father doing? Is he still in the hospital?”

“Did you enjoy going to the game on Thursday?”

“How’s Ralph handling summer in a cast?”

Even though the guards didn’t ask Barry personal questions, they all seemed fond of him, happily engaging in brief interactions and politely asking about work and, of course, Riley.

“Who’s your friend?”

“This is Riley,” Barry would say as he smiled at Riley. “He’s my foster-kid. He came with me to meet my dad.”

A variety of responses followed that:

“Wow, didn’t know you were fostering.”

“That’s great. Congratulations.”

“Hey, Riley. Nice to meet you.”

“I’m sure Henry will be thrilled to meet him.”

All the guards seemed relaxed when talking about Henry, who was convicted of murder. _Maybe more people believe the man is innocent than just Barry_ , Riley speculated.

Luckily, no one really made Riley converse with them, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t exhausted from being alert for the past twenty minutes, and, to be honest, from the entire drive with his anxious foster-dad.

Barry gave him the option to sit in the waiting room instead of going back to see Henry, but even thinking about being left behind made Riley’s stomach turn to knots and bile start to rise in his throat. Barry was so eager to have him meet his father that he didn’t notice Riley’s reaction, or just didn’t care. _No, Barry notices most things. And he probably chose not to make me feel bad._ He was surprised how quickly he defended Barry, and promptly reminded himself that thinking like that could be dangerous.

Barry led Riley over to the chairs by the glass partitions. There was only one other person in the room and she was sitting at the furthest booth. Barry let Riley sit in the chair at the opposite end of the room and furthest from the other visitor while Barry took the seat next to him. They only had to wait a few minutes before a kind-looking man was led to them on the other side.

Henry Allen was not what Riley expected. The man before him had an easy gait, a big smile, and relaxed demeanor. Barry’s dad was tall like Barry, but broader and rougher looking. Not rough like prison toughed him up, but more like he’d seen a lot and it wore on him. _Barry said he was a doctor; that’s probably a tough job. Or maybe…_

“Hi, dad!” Riley watched Barry talk on the phone and put his other hand on the glass. When Henry reached out to place his hand directly across from Barry’s and say something in response, Barry relaxed more than Riley saw all week. He couldn’t hear what the older man was saying, but Riley leaned forward a little to watch the men talk. Henry continued to smile, his eyes to shining a little brighter as he looked over his son. _He has kind eyes, just like Barry._

“Riley, my dad says hello. Would you like to say hi?”

He really didn’t want to try to hold a conversation with anyone, especially not over the phone. But, Riley didn’t want to be rude, especially after Barry revealed this was the first time Henry met anyone in Barry’s life. Instead of taking the phone from Barry, Riley stood up so that he and Henry could fully see each other.

Riley lifted a hand to offer a small wave and said, “Hi, Mr. Allen. It’s nice to meet you,” out loud. Barry’s dad offered a softer smile and waved back. Riley read his lips as the man said, _Nice to meet you, too_ , before Riley sat back down in his chair.

The Allen men held a conversation for about forty minutes before a guard took Henry away. Riley tuned out most of what Barry said, not having the energy or desire to try to fill in the gaps for what he couldn’t hear. They only seemed to talk about Riley at the beginning, anyway, and all Barry offered were generalizations.

“Yes, everything’s going well… We’re figuring out our new schedule… He starts school Tuesday… We met with Iris Friday and Cisco’s been to the apartment a few times…”

At one point, Barry became quite and mumbled a “Thanks, dad.” Riley noticed Barry smile and glance at Riley before looking down, clearing his throat, and sniffing. The rest of the conversation seemed pleasant until the end when Barry started responding with single words. When Riley looked up, he saw Barry wiping tears off his face. A few minutes later, Riley followed Barry out of the visiting room, watching as his foster-dad’s shoulders stayed slumped and his head hung low as they continued out of the building.

The bus ride away from the prison was completely different from the ride there. Barry was subdued for the first time since Riley met him. Barry kept his focus in his lap or out the window, but it didn’t seem like he was really seeing anything. There was no fidgeting, no babbling, no interaction. Riley hated it.

Before the bus came to its stop back in Central City, Barry finally broke the silence.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve warned you that it takes me some time to… I don’t know… decompress? After seeing my dad.”

“It’s okay.” Riley shrugged and didn’t make eye contact. Barry let out a long, audible sigh.

“Still. I just… Even after all this time… I’m so… angry… that he’s stuck in there, and it never gets any easier to leave him. All these years…” Riley glanced over at Barry, surprised at the venom that laced his words. When Barry looked at Riley, he offered a small grin. “I’ll be better after we eat. There’s a cafeteria where we’re going for our activity.”

“What is the activity?” Riley didn’t know where they were going and the lack of information made him feel uneasy.

“It’s a surprise.” Barry offered a genuine smile that time.

Riley only had to wait for one more twenty-minute bus ride to get his answer. Central City Aquarium was packed by the time they arrived, a popular place to be on the weekend. Barry took them to customer services to buy Riley a year-long pass; Barry already had his own.

Riley had been to the aquarium twice before: once in third grade for a field trip and once in fourth grade with his family as his birthday present. Thinking back on it, Riley loved learning about the sea creatures and watching them swim around, but he hadn’t thought of this place in years. _Not since mom…_ Riley didn’t allow himself to take that thought any further.

Barry decided they needed to eat before they looked at any exhibits so that they wouldn’t be distracted by hunger. The cafeteria had a lot of options and was crammed with visitors choosing their lines and trying to find a place to sit. Riley and Barry were lucky to get a two-top table next to a window.

They were about half way through their meals before Barry started talking.

“I love this place. My parents used to bring me here a lot when I was a kid, and after everything happened, if I could find a way to get in, I always felt better before I left. I still come here often, sometimes just for a few minutes to walk around and clear my head. I figured you should have a pass in case you want to visit on your own. Or if you want to come with me again.”

“Thanks. For the pass,” Riley said between bites.

“You’re very welcome.” Barry ate a little more, letting silence take over again. He doesn’t know why he did it, but Riley decided to offer something to Barry.

“I came here with my parents, too. Just once though. For my birthday.” Riley didn’t look up from his plate while he said it, but he could feel Barry radiate happiness due to Riley sharing with him. _The man really is like a puppy. It’s way to easy to please him_.

“That was nice of them. Did you enjoy being here?” Barry looked so hopeful.

“Yeah. It was cool.”

Barry nodded in enthusiastic agreement. Riley continued to eat his food so he wouldn’t be tempted to say anything else.

“You know,” Barry started off slowly. “We don’t really know much about each other. At least, Judy didn’t tell me much about you, and we just met a few days ago…”

_Why did I tell him something personal_? Riley chastised himself. _Of course, now he wants more._

“What if we keep doing this? Revealing something about ourselves each day? Getting to know each other more during meals? We could share something and then ask a question, maybe?”

For a moment, Riley considered saying no to Barry’s request, but imagining how devested Barry would look made Riley simply shrug his shoulder. He didn’t want to make the puppy sad, and really, he could just make stuff up.

“I’ll start!” Barry looked outside while he thought of something to say. It didn’t take the man more than a minute. “Ever since my first visit here, my favorite animal is a penguin. I thought they were so cool because they could swim underwater even though they were birds and they looked dressed up in a fancy suit. I really loved when the movies presented the ideas of them singing to find their mate and being monogamous.” Barry blushed after he said that, and Riley didn’t even consider asking about what his foster-dad was thinking. Barry cleared his throat before asking his question.

“What, uh, what was your favorite exhibit here when you were a kid? If you can remember.”

Riley took time to think about his answer. Honestly, he loved everything and always wanted to come back, but after his mom started getting sick they didn’t go many places.

During his birthday visit, he loved sitting between his parents while they waited for the feeding at the Open Sea. They made up stories about the fish they saw, and he loved when his dad did silly voices. He liked watching the otters play with their toys. The jellyfish were weird and awesome, even the miniscule ones. He laughed when his mom tried to touch things at the petting areas but would pull back with a squeal as soon as her fingers brushed anything that moved. He felt brave when his dad held him up so he could touch the stingrays. He didn’t say any of that to Barry, though. Instead, he offered the smallest truth from his precious memory of when things were better.

“I don’t really remember, but I think I liked all the really colorful fish. You know, the tropical ones that look neon with the lighting in their tanks?”

“Those are really neat,” Barry offered quietly. He waited patiently for Riley to continue.

“Umm… I guess I like tigers? The white tiger is my favorite animal.”

“Nice! We should make a trip to the Starling Zoo one Sunday. We’d be over halfway there after getting to see my dad, and we could ride the train home. I’m pretty sure they have a white tiger.” Barry thought about it for a moment before returning to Riley. “What question do you have for me? You can ask me anything and I’ll answer truthfully.”

He pretended to consider what to ask, but Riley didn’t need time to come up with a question. He had the same one every day since he moved in with Barry, sometimes multiple times a day.

“Why don’t you have a car?”

Barry chuckled a little before answering. “Yeah, a lot of people still ask me that. I guess the simple answer is because I’m used to not having one. I got my license when I was eighteen but didn’t have any extra money to buy a car or pay for insurance. After a few years when I did save up enough money, I guess I was stubborn, or maybe lazy. I didn’t want to throw my money at a car that I didn’t feel like I needed. I’d been getting around town just fine until then. And there were always Ubers if I needed a quick ride. And Joe, Iris’ dad, would let me borrow his car if I really needed one. So, I guess I don’t have a car because I’m a creature of habit. And I don’t want a car payment every month.”

Riley thought about Barry’s response and concluded that the man was logical and prudent, neither of which was a bad thing. He started thinking about what Barry would do when Riley was able to get his driver’s license and almost choked on his drink.

“You okay?” Barry looked concerned, but Riley waved him off. They cleaned up their trash and went exploring through the building for the next three hours, not talking about anything personal to Riley’s relief.

When they left the aquarium and headed home after the long day, Riley told Barry that he had a good time. It was the truth, even if Riley was loath to admit it. They were both exhausted, so they did their own thing when they got home. Riley spent the rest of the night in his room with the door closed, contemplating how much he’d slipped up.

_I can’t keep thinking long-term. Everything is new and fun now, but that will wear off after a few weeks. There’s no way this can last. Barry basically admitted he has no money, so he’ll either have to stop paying for us to do things or work more; neither option is something adults want to do._

Riley’s thoughts continued to spiral causing him to get little sleep, and the sleep he did manage was filled with his typical nightmares. He was frustrated that he shared personal things with Barry, annoyed that he enjoyed their time together as much as he did, and terrified that he wanted things to stay the same with his foster-dad. Hope had been a cruel teacher to Riley the past few years; he didn’t want to have to learn another hard lesson.

 

 

Scrolling through Netflix becomes tedious quickly. Barry gave Riley his computer to use today to help him be entertained while Barry works. He could’ve stayed at the apartment, but thinking about that many hours alone made Riley’s skin itch. Barry seemed happy that Riley wanted to go to work with him, so it worked out for everyone. Riley has been sitting in his own booth for the past three hours and is starting to get bored. He chose the perfect spot to sit with an unimpeded view of the entire space and spent most of the morning looking over everything and people watching.

Barry was right; the inside was a huge improvement compared to the outside. The interior has a nice bar and high tables with mismatching stools and chairs. There are a few standard tables in the middle of the floor and booths line the back wall. Four pinball machines, a jukebox, and two pool tables are spread out for entertainment. Everything inside is old but seems well taken care of, or at least very sturdy. There have only been four customers since Barry arrived; three of them found their own table and kept their heads in a newspaper or focused on their phones, and the other one sat at the bar taking Barry’s ear off.

From what Riley’s witnessed, Barry’s job seems more like housekeeping than bartending. He started by serving the four customers, then cleaned all the tables and chairs, vacuumed and swept the floor, dusted everything, and wiped down the windows and glass frames hanging on the walls. After that, he inspected his equipment behind the bar and did an inventory of his supplies and alcohol. He sometimes disappeared to what Riley assumes is the kitchen because he would return with plates of food. Riley isn’t sure if there is a cook back there or if meal prep is part of his job description, too.

Riley continues to aimlessly scroll through his viewing options on Netflix until he hears Barry call out to a new visitor.

“Hey, Lisa!” Barry doesn’t wave at the woman walking up to him, so he’s probably washing something.

“Hey, handsome,” the feminine voice calls back. Riley can’t hear the rest of their conversation, but he watches them anyway. Even from across the room, Riley can tell the woman is beautiful. As if she heard his thoughts, the woman turns around and looks directly at him.

Riley quickly looks back at the laptop but doesn’t see what’s on the screen. Riley pretends to be engrossed with the technology, but he knows the gorgeous lady saw him looking at her. He’s aware of her walking straight toward his table and Riley starts to sweat. His heart beat speeds up and he feels hot all of a sudden. Riley hopes his cheeks aren’t becoming red like Barry’s do when he’s embarrassed.

“Hello, cutie.” The goddess stops closer than most people would, her hip leaning into the table. Riley’s mouth goes dry as he looks up to respond. She’s wearing tight, black leather pants and a loose, low-cut shirt. A gold necklace hangs down her chest and Riley reminds himself to move his gaze higher until he reaches her face. _That doesn’t help_ , he whines in his head. Her light blue eyes are intently focused on Riley, making his body temperature rise even higher. Her face is flawless and her bright red lips are smiling coyly.

“H-hi.” The single syllable is mostly an exhale of breath.

“I’m Lisa Snart. I run this place.” The woman holds out her manicured hand and her bracelets clink together as they slide down her wrist. She seems to have no problem waiting for Riley to remember how to move. He tentatively reaches out to shake her hand, his body a live wire of nervous energy. Lisa closes their hands together in a firm grip, not one of those dainty fingers-only shakes he expects from pretty girls.

“I-I’m Riley. Whitcomb.” He clears his throat to attempt to sound more assertive. Lisa lets him take his hand back and he hides it under the table. “Barry said I could stay here while he works… he’s… my -”

“Of course, sweetie. You are welcome here anytime.” Lisa places both of her hands on the table and leans into his space. Riley is pretty sure he lost the ability to perform automatic bodily functions, like breathing. He can’t take his eyes off Lisa’s, and then she winks at him; Riley is positive his heart stopped momentarily.

“The day shift is slow, and the people who do come generally keep to themselves.” Lisa speaks so quietly that Riley has to strain to hear her. “But, if anyone bothers you, I want you to tell me immediately and I’ll take care of it.” Her voice is sweet and soft, but Lisa’s tone holds a level of promise that lets Riley know she’s serious. Her piercing eyes leave no doubt in Riley’s mind that this woman really will “take care” of problems. He nods his head a few times to let her know he heard her.

“If you can’t find me, my office is down the hallway. You can wait there until Barry or I come get you. Understood?”

“Y-yes.”

Lisa straightens up and smiles radiantly before talking again at a normal volume. “Great! Now that that’s taken care of, what can I get you from the kitchen?”

“Uh…” It takes Riley a moment to catch up to the change in topic. “I don’t have any money.”

Lisa’s eyes narrow slightly and Riley worries that he’s upset her. She makes a “hmmm” sound as she studies Riley. He quickly tries to reassure her and make her scowl disappear.

“I brought snacks from home. And Barry said he’d eat with me on his lunch break.” He’s so concerned about Lisa’s reaction that Riley overlooks his use of the word _home_.

“Is that so?”

“Uh, yeah. But, I’m okay. If Barry needs to keep working. I don’t really… eat… a lot. So, I’ll be fine until dinner.” _Dear god_ , Riley thinks. _Barry’s word vomit is contagious._

Lisa continues to stare at him and all Riley thinks is _please don’t be mad at me_.

Thankfully, Lisa’s expression softens again and the tight clamp around Riley’s heart loosens. The woman smiles mischievously before saying, “Don’t worry, cutie. There’s no problem. Let me know if you change your mind and want something hot.”

“O-okay. Thank you, Ms. Snart.”

A snort coming from the beauty in front of Riley is not expected. “Oh, honey. Call me Lisa. I insist.” She walks back to the bar before Riley can respond. He watches her talk to Barry and it doesn’t look like his foster-dad is in trouble until her hands go to her hips and Barry drops his head. Barry must be done washing because his hands are on the counter top. Lisa reaches out to pat Barry’s hand before walking away.

Cautiously, Riley makes eye contact with Barry, who offers a smile and head nod. Riley relaxes back into his booth. He’s still stunned from the encounter with the goddess that introduced herself to him. This is the second woman Riley’s met who seems to care about his foster-dad and now, by extension, Riley.

_How does Barry manage to function around these beautiful, fierce women?_ Riley ponders as he thinks back to the first woman Barry introduced to him.

 

 

Iris was more energetic than Riley was prepared for when he met her Friday morning. Luckily, they were meeting at Jitter’s and she bought him a coffee before assaulting him with questions.

“Iris,” Barry stopped her before Riley could try to form a response to her rapid-fire questioning. “He’s not a source for an article, and we just woke up.”

“Oh! Right! Oh my god, I’m so sorry, Riley!” When she looked back at Barry, they seemed to have a conversation without saying any words. Iris took a deep breath before speaking to Riley again, thankfully much more slowly.

“I’ve just been so excited to meet you ever since Barry told me he was gong to foster you, and that was a week ago!”

“She’s not very patient,” Barry interrupted with a laugh. Iris smacked his arm before continuing.

“And since Barry’s like a brother to me, I feel like I’m gaining a nephew after starting to lose hope that Barry would ever -”

“Really, Iris?”

“Anyway… that was still too much for a first meeting. I’m sorry, Riley. But, you’ll get used to me.” She smiled at him so warmly that Riley couldn’t help returning the gesture, but on a much smaller scale. Nevertheless, Iris beamed triumphantly at the upturn of Riley’s lips.

“How about I share some embarrassing stories about Barry while you drink your coffee?” She reached out to pat Riley’s arm when he nodded in agreement.

Barry dropped his forehead down onto the table, moaning, “Why? Why does my best friend have to be so evil?”

Riley knew Barry was joking when he saw the man turn his head to mock glare at Iris, who seemed even happier with his response. She ruffled his hair, causing Barry to jerk upright and protest with a weak, “Hey!” that earned him a laugh from the beautiful woman.

“So, Riley. Did Barry tell you that we’ve been best friends ever since I saved him from a bully in second grade?”

“You’re starting with Tony Woodward?” Barry asked incredulously.

“Oh hush.” Iris swatted Barry again. Riley tried not to laugh, taking a drink to help hide his amusement at the two friends. _I hope Barry doesn’t bruise easily_.

Iris’ continued to tease Barry. “I’ll tell him now or later when you aren’t around. Either way, I think it’s important to share these stories so that Riley can learn important lessons about standing up to bullies.”

“But I didn’t stand up to Tony. You did.”

“Yeah, because I’m awesome! And now Riley will know that, too.” She leaned over toward Riley and stage whispered, “I know you’re intelligent enough to realize I’m way more amazing than Barry, but we need to be careful with his ego… he got beat up A LOT as a child.”

Riley couldn’t stop the small giggle that escaped him at the deviousness of the whirlwind of a woman next to him. He glanced at Barry who was shaking his dead with an exaggerated eye roll.

“I hate you so much.”

“I love you, too, Barr.” Iris blew the man a kiss before launching into a captivating story starring Iris as Barry’s knight-in-shining-armor.

Iris’s ability to weave a story was mesmerizing and caused Riley to feel at ease around the vibrant woman. Barry rolled with her verbal punches with a sense of humor and only tried to defend himself a few times. Riley liked watching their easy camaraderie and felt good when they pulled him into the conversation rather than feeling anxious or alert. It helped that they usually set him up with “yes” or “no” questions so he didn’t have to verbally participate. When Iris eventually turned the conversation to Riley, he found it not as difficult to respond as it normally was for him.

“How do you like the apartment, Riley? Did you know you’re staying in my old room?”

“Can you tell her favorite color is purple?” Barry adds.

Riley found himself smiling again at their playful banter. “It’s nice,” he offers. “There’s a lot of space.”

“Yeah, I think your room is larger than Barry’s, even though he thinks they’re the same.”

“I don’t think; I know. We measured them.”

“Perception is reality, Barr. Riley’s room is bigger.”

Riley thought it was very generous of Iris to refer to the bedroom as _his_. He hadn’t been able to claim much as his own the past few years, especially spaces he lived in. “Have you bought everything you want for your room yet?”

“We bought a desk.”

“That’s it?” Iris glared at Barry.

“We’re going back out today! And I told him Wednesday that he could wait if he wasn’t sure what he wanted,” Barry defended.

“What about his bedding? That’s easy to pick up and change out!”

Riley felt bad Barry was suffering under Iris’ ire and decided to save him. “I kinda like your comforter.”

The woman lost most of her anger immediately. “It is super comfy! It’s a down comforter. You can remove the outer cover to wash it. Or replace it.” She glared at Barry again before continuing with Riley. “And it’s yours now. I made my boyfriend buy a new one when I started staying with him.”

“Thanks. I… I think I’ll keep using it. If that’s okay.”

“Of course!” Iris beamed and grabbed Riley’s forearm. “And don’t worry, I’ll take you shopping for more things when I have some time off work. Barry has no sense of style and I refuse to let you suffer from his ignorance.” She winked at Riley as Barry started to argue with her. Iris mumbled something about Barry being a terrible stereotype before she slid off her chair and said she had to go to work.

“I’m so happy you’re here, Riley,” Iris proclaimed as she latched onto him in a fierce hug that lasted longer than normally appropriate. Before she let go, she whispered in his ear, “He truly cares about you. And I’ll tell you more embarrassing stories about him later.” Shocking Riley, she kissed his cheek before moving over to Barry to repeat the process. Whatever she whispered to Barry made his eyes water, but he smiled as he said goodbye.

 

 

Riley is waiting for Barry to make their lunch in the kitchen when a man strides into the bar. He walks with a lot of purpose but stops abruptly as soon as he notices Riley. The man only looks old because of his short graying hair; the rest of him is fit and he radiates confidence and a controlled energy Riley hasn’t seen in anyone else. He’s wearing dark jeans, a tight black shirt, and a black leather jacket. Riley feels wary and curious about the man who isn’t exactly scowling at Riley, but he definitely isn’t pleased.

The man takes a few steps to the side and his eyes dart around quickly. He focuses back on Riley with a hand resting under his jacket. Riley thinks the man is trying to appear casual, but Riley can almost feel the tension coming off the man as he addresses Riley in a slow drawl.

“What do you think you’re doing here, kid?”

Riley doesn’t have a clue who this man is, but he speaks with so much authority in his voice that he can’t help but answer immediately. “I’m waiting for my lunch. Barry’s getting it.”

That doesn’t seem to be the response the man was looking for and he squints his eyes a little more. Riley tries to swallow and considers looking away, but he doesn’t think it’s wise to turn away from this man who Riley seems to have offended. The man doesn’t move, so Riley easily notices when Lisa starts to walk toward them. _Thank goodness_. Riley breathes a little easier when the woman smiles at him.

“Lenny!” The man keeps staring at Riley but turns his head a little in response to Lisa’s greeting. She puts her hand on the man’s shoulder and he thaws a little at her touch. It doesn’t seem to change his attitude toward Riley, however.

“Why is this kid in my booth, Lisa?” His tone is accusatory but Lisa just waves him off.

“It’s not YOUR booth, Lenny. And Riley’s good here. He’s with Barry.”

Lenny looks at Lisa when she says this and they have an argument with their eyes doing all the talking. After what feels like minutes, but was most likely only a few seconds, the man rolls his shoulders and brings his hand out from under his jacket. _I wonder what he was reaching for_ , Riley ponders, then realizes he might not actually want to know.

At this point Barry walks over to the small group with their lunch. He assesses the situation, checking to see if Riley is okay before addressing the adults. “Hey, is everything alright?” Barry gives a quick glance to the man on the other side of Lisa. Riley thinks he sees Barry’s cheeks gain some color.

“Of course,” Lisa coos. “My brother was just joining me to talk business. Come on, Lenny. We can sit over here today.” She pushes her brother to initiate movement. “Enjoy your lunch boys!”

As she saunters off to sit at another booth out of earshot, Riley thinks he hears the older man complain that all the booths are technically his.

“You okay?” Barry places a tray down on the table with their food and drinks on it. They both decided to eat hot sandwiches with onion rings from the menu.

Riley nods his head as his foster-dad sits down across from him. Neither of them says any more as they start on their meals. Like usual, it’s Barry who breaks the silence a few minutes later.

“So, uh, school starts tomorrow for you, and I was thinking that going to school is kind of like your job right now.” Riley has no idea where this conversation is headed, so he continues to eat knowing Barry will get to the point eventually. “I’m not going to give you an allowance for doing chores because that stuff’s just part of living and taking care of yourself. And if you want to make more money you’re welcome to find small jobs -”

“Do you want me to get a job?” Riley interrupts. _Maybe Barry needs help with money now that he has an extra person to pay for_ , Riley considers. It’s not an unreasonable request since Riley changed Barry’s whole life by showing up at his door.

“NO!” Barry looks guilty when he sees Riley flinch. He continues in a much softer and soothing voice. “No, I’d actually prefer you not get a job so that you can focus on just being a kid right now. Maybe find some fun activities or groups you enjoy… But I know you need to have money so you can do things, so that’s what I meant by school being your job.”

Riley is completely baffled now. _Barry doesn’t want me to get a job, but wants me to make money?_ “I don’t understand,” he admits.

“I want to pay you to go to school.” Barry waves his hands around at the same time Riley furrows his eyebrows. “That came out wrong. I’m not trying to bribe you to go to school. It’s just that… school is your job. And people get paid for doing their jobs. So, I’m going to give you $20 a week to do your job: be a student. And you’ll get bonuses when you do exceptional work.”

“Umm…” Riley’s brain isn’t processing this information very well. All he knows is this deal feels like a trick. _Why would Barry pay me to do something I’m supposed to do anyway? Is Barry going to make me start paying for all of my own stuff?_ “I don’t… you don’t have to do that. I’ll just use whatever you want to give me.”

Now Barry looks confused. He seems to figure out what Riley meant, though, when he says, “I’m still going to provide for you, Riley. That’s my job as a parent. One I’m very happy to do, by the way.”

Riley relaxes some at Barry’s words and genuine smile, but he still doesn’t understand why Barry is doing this. Barry continues to try to explain.

“The money you make for doing your job is for you to use however you want. You’ll have to decide how to budget or save your money. You can spend it on whatever you want, like a new video game or going out with your friends. But, I’m still going to buy your food and clothes and anything else you need day to day. Anytime we go out together, I’ve got you. You’ll only need to use your money for anything extra you want or want to do.”

Riley studies his foster-dad for a while and Barry patiently waits for him to come to a conclusion. If nothing else, Riley knows that Barry is sincere and genuine, regardless of how long that may last. He still thinks this is weird, but Riley figures he can just save the money Barry is going to give him. That way when Barry changes his mind or Riley gets put with a new family, Riley might be able to keep the money and use it later when he actually needs it.

“Alright.” Riley watches Barry reach into his back pocket and pull out his wallet. He slides a $20 bill across the table. _Apparently, this is happening right now._ Riley reaches out slowly to take the money, then puts it in his pocket. He hasn’t held his own money in years; he swears the thin paper must weigh two pounds. “Thanks.”

Barry just smiles. He seems relieved to be done with that conversation. Of course, Riley shouldn’t have assumed that meant they were done talking.

“So! Something about me…” _I wonder how long Barry is going to keep up his version of 20 Questions_ , Riley wonders as they share a small detail about themselves and ask each other a question.

If Riley is honest with himself, he likes the fact that Barry is trying to make a real effort with him. He’s already done more with Riley than any of the other foster-parents he’d been with, and it hasn’t even been a full week yet _. It’ll stop soon_ , Riley reminds himself. _I’m still a new toy. He’ll lose interest eventually_.

Barry leaves Riley alone a few minutes later, clearing their table as he goes back to work. They only have three hours until they can leave, but Barry reminded him of the Monday night plans to go to Joe’s for dinner. Riley feels tired suddenly. He’s met so many people the last few days and he still has more to meet. The problem isn’t that these people in Barry’s life are terrible; the problem is they’re all nice.

Nice people drain his energy. Nice people don’t let him sit quietly in the background unnoticed. Nice people try to be considerate. Nice people always want something from him: conversation, answers, honesty, time. Riley is exhausted from dealing with all of these really nice people who want to get to know him.

He sighs as he pulls his notebook out of his backpack that’s next to him in the booth. Riley needs to escape for a while, block everything and everyone out of his mind. He needs to stop feeling. The best way he does that is by drawing, so that’s what he does for the next three hours.

As Riley leaves Saints and Sinners with Barry, he tells himself he just needs to survive tonight. Once school starts tomorrow, he will be able to disappear into the crowd again. He’ll be busy, and Barry will be busy, and they can start a new routine of coexisting separately together.

Riley knows that is what he wants, knows that to survive he needs to detach so that it won’t hurt later. He doesn’t want to hurt anymore. Unfortunately, the idea of isolating himself from Barry also starts to make his chest tighten and ache. _Great_ , Riley kicks a rock as they walk toward the bus stop. _No matter what I do, this is going to suck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back, everyone! And thank you for reading!
> 
> I promised a long chapter to make up for the long wait, and that's definitely what happened here. I left out a scene with Riley and Cisco watching Indiana Jones when Barry had to work at Cupid on Saturday, but I'll try to fit that information into the next chapter.
> 
> My goal moving forward with this story is not to let more than a week pass without an update. I appreciate your patience waiting for this chapter (it felt like torture to me!). Please let me know if you have any questions, comments, or suggestions.


	7. New Normal

In less than a week, Barry has already picked up on some of Riley’s tells. He still isn’t certain how to address his foster-kid’s issues, or if he should. Barry hears Riley have nightmares most nights. The kid keeps his door shut, stays in his room until morning, and has never broached the subject. Barry knows how personal and draining nightmares can be, especially if they resemble memories rather than made up monsters, so he hasn’t tried to talk to Riley about it. He hopes it is a topic during Riley’s therapy sessions.

Barry also notices Riley startle at loud noises or whenever someone ends up behind him. In public, Riley tends to position himself in a way that his back is protected, sometimes against a wall, and he keeps an eye on most of the surrounding area. Barry hates when he causes Riley to flinch and is actively working on keeping his voice at a calm, low decibel and alerting Riley whenever Barry ends up approaching from out of sight.

It was surprising when Barry realized that Riley never wants to be left alone unless they are both home in the apartment. When Barry was a teenager, he desperately wanted adults to give him space and let him be unsupervised. Riley, however, always chooses to stay with Barry if he has the option, and he didn't put up a fight about Cisco staying in the apartment with him when Barry needed to work at Cupid. The kid even chose to sit in a booth for eight hours while Barry worked on Monday. He thinks maybe that will change once Riley feels more at home in the apartment, but Riley already said he wants to take the bus to Saints and Sinners after school and wait there until Barry finishes his shift.

The most immediate concern for Barry is Riley’s poor eating habits, which is probably the cause of Riley appearing to be underweight and small for his age. Their first day together, Riley ate like a typical teenage boy: scarfing down Big Belly Burger and a late-night pizza. Unfortunately, the next day Riley seemed to feel sick, and the days following he mostly pushed his food around his plate. Barry also realized that if he wasn’t eating, Riley wouldn’t choose any food for himself. To try to help encourage Riley to eat more, Barry has started leaving out plates of finger foods with fruits, veggies, cheese, and meats cut up. He also gets out bags of chips or pretzels and offers handfuls to Riley when they sit together. Hopefully, Riley will continue to eat the smaller portions of food throughout the day and make up the loss for what he doesn’t eat during meals.

And of course, Riley’s lack of communication is worrisome to Barry. He thought Riley would continue to engage with him after they talked about Henry and had such a great time at the aquarium. Barry basically scheduled talking time by coming up with the “sharing and questioning” aspect of mealtime. But after Sunday, Riley seemed to retreat back into himself, once again preferring to use head or shoulder movement to express his thoughts.

_It’s a start_. Barry keeps reminding himself to stay positive and patient. _I knew things wouldn’t magically improve right away_. For the moment, Barry hopes that providing a consistent schedule, a safe and loving home, and a weekly therapy session will be enough to support Riley and allow the teenager to begin to put his life back together on more solid ground. Barry is still optimistic that school will be a positive influence, maybe introducing friends and clubs for Riley to focus on and to pull him out of his darkness.

 

They are the first to arrive at Joe’s house Monday evening since they came right after Barry ended his shift at Saints and Sinners. Joe welcomed them with an awkwardly formal greeting.

“Hello, Barry. Glad you could make it tonight.”

“Thanks for having us, Joe.”

“Hello, young man. My name is Joe West. Welcome to my home.”

“Riley,” is all his foster-kid says before the older man retreats into the kitchen to finish the meal.

Riley seems distant and not eager to engage, but Barry thinks the kid will feel differently when Iris and Eddie arrive; he’s already met them and seems quite taken with Iris. Barry isn’t opposed to lounging on the couch while Joe finishes cooking, and that’s what he and Riley do until everyone is gathered around the dining table thirty minutes later.

Joe doesn’t linger too long on Riley during dinner, and Barry isn’t sure if it’s because the man doesn’t know how to talk to a teenager or can tell the teenager doesn’t want to talk to him. Regardless, Riley seems content to be a wallflower tonight while Joe interrogates Iris about the last two weeks and Iris regales them with stories about her co-workers and her latest article.

“I’m just saying, dad, it isn’t okay for big companies to take over housing developments and then ignore the needs of the people who live there as they continue to change the rules on them, making it even tougher for them to afford a decent place to live! There’s no way the company who took over Arbor Lakes isn’t cutting corners or violating their tenants’ rights, and I’m going to prove it and let the city know what's really happening. They can’t be allowed to get away with that crap!”              

“I understand that, honey,” Joe manages to say while Iris takes a calming breath. “All I’m trying saying is that you need to be careful about how you find your information. It’s not safe to snoop around where people don’t want prying eyes.”

Iris waves her protective father off, bull-headed as ever. “I’m fine, dad. I know what I’m doing, and I can handle myself. Right, Riley?”

Everyone looks to Riley, who is caught off guard at being drawn into the conversation. He nods his head in agreement, and Iris lets that close her rant, smiling at Joe as she sips her wine. Eddie shifts in his chair, using the small opening to change topics.

“So, Riley, I have a question for you.” Eddie looks excited about whatever he’s about to bring up. Riley looks apprehensive, if not a little annoyed.  “I won four free tickets to the Diamonds’ baseball game Saturday afternoon and was hoping you’d want to go with me. Since Iris will be working, I thought maybe we could do a guys’ outing. I know Barry can’t go since he has work, so I was thinking it could be you and me, and maybe Joe and Cisco? What do you think?”

“Eddie, that’s a great idea!” Iris beams at her boyfriend and gives him a peck on the cheek. “Dad? You’re off Saturday, right?”

“Uh… yeah. I am. I suppose I can go eat some hot dogs and watch the Diamonds for a few hours. As long as they don’t have a repeat of the beating they took from the Salamanders.”

When Joe and Eddie start talking about the previous game, Riley looks at Barry, clearly unsure of what he’s supposed to do. Barry leans over to have a private moment with his foster-kid.

“You can go if you want to, or you can stay home like you planned. I’m okay with either choice, and you can use me as an excuse if you don’t want to go. I’ll tell Eddie I scheduled an appointment for you or something.” Barry sits back in his seat to give Riley room to decide. “Who are they playing this weekend, Eddie?”

“Metropolis, so it should be a good game. Well, Riley? What do you say?”

“Cisco’s going?”

“We can text him right now and ask, but I’m sure he’ll say yes.”

“Okay. I’ll go.”

“Great!” Eddie is already texting Cisco while he and Joe start discussing statistics for both teams. Barry catches Riley peaking over at him, so he offers a small smile in reassurance. Iris gets up and starts clearing plates, stopping when she's next to Riley.

“Since I don’t get to have any fun with you guys on Saturday, how would you feel about dinner and a shopping trip Friday night? You work at Cupid that night, right Barr?”

“Yeah. I got my start time pushed back some, so I won’t go in until seven.”

“Perfect! I can pick Riley up by then.” She turns to Riley again but doesn’t even try to prevent Barry from hearing her next comment. “I promised you I wouldn’t leave you with only Barry to help you shop; that’s cruel and unusual punishment.” Barry can’t even pretend to be upset when he sees Riley respond with a small smile and laugh. “I think school starting back up is a perfect reason to buy some new clothes and things for your room, don’t you?”

Riley nods and Iris hands him some plates to carry to the sink. As Barry watches them walk away, Iris planning their attack on the stores north of town, he can’t help but feel blessed to have so many wonderful people in his life.

Iris has already claimed Riley as her beloved nephew and has every intention of spoiling him whenever possible. Barry isn’t surprised at how well Iris does with Riley and how positively the teenager responds to her; she has an uncanny ability to know exactly what to say and do to make people feel special, cared for, and safe. She did that for Barry during his childhood, and it’s heart-warming to watch her do the same for Riley.

Eddie is a sweet, if not sometimes awkward, man that makes an incredible role model for anyone. He chose a dangerous career because he truly wants to help people. Even though Joe complained about his partner when they started working together, it didn’t take long to realize that Eddie is truly a good man who became a police officer for all the right reasons. He’s also one of the rare people who doesn’t become jaded by the horrors he sees on the job; instead, those situations seem to make him care even more about helping others. It makes so much sense that he and Iris fell in love.

And, of course, there’s Cisco. Barry makes a mental note to thank his best friend with a candy bouquet this week. He knows he’s lucky to have a friend like Cisco and will never take the man for granted. He has supported Barry’s decision to foster Riley more than anyone, mostly by encouraging Barry and treating Riley like his other best friend. Cisco brought movies over to watch with a kid he never met instead of complaining that their karaoke night at the bar was canceled, and he offered to stay with a teenager all day and night on a Saturday because he knew Barry felt guilty about having to work. Clearly, Riley’s interactions with Cisco have had a positive impact on the kid; Barry has a gut feeling that if Cisco wasn’t invited to the baseball game, Riley would’ve turned down the invitation. Thinking about Riley’s trust in Cisco brings tears to Barry’s eyes. He rubs his face to shake off his feelings before Riley sits back down at the table.

Barry might not have a lot of people in his life, but the ones he does are worth their weight in gold. They aren’t just good friends; they’re good people, which is evident in the way they talk to Riley and immediately made him part of their family. _They say it takes a village_ , Barry muses. He smiles knowing that while his village may be small, it’s strong and fiercely loyal. And now Riley has that village, too. Barry just needs to give his foster-kid time to see it for himself.

 

Times flies on Tuesday. To Barry, it seems like a blink of an eye between telling Riley good luck with his first day of school and handing him his packed lunch in the morning to greeting his tired-looking foster-kid when he meanders into Saints and Sinners at three in the afternoon. It amazes Barry that in only six days he’s gotten used to having the teenager around. Even when they sit in the same room and don’t talk to each other, Barry feels at peace in a way he didn’t before the kid came to live with him. Not having Riley around all day felt strange, as if one of his limbs was asleep and he couldn’t wake it up. Barry thinks it really shouldn’t surprise him that he’s growing to actually like the person he’s committed to caring for, even if he’s only received snippets of who Riley truly is.

Riley offers a half-hearted wave at Barry as he keeps walking to claim the same booth he sat in yesterday. Barry has to actively restrain himself from running over to his foster-kid and asking a million questions about school and teachers and possible friends. _Calm yourself_ , Barry admonishes. _No need to bombard the kid as soon as he walks in the door_.

Barry moves to check on the patron sitting at the end of the bar. He feels a momentary pang of jealously as he watches Lisa saunter over to Riley, but then is thankful that the woman is taking the time to talk with him. Riley looks stiffer than normal responding to Barry’s boss, just like he did yesterday. And, he's much more attentive than he usually appears with people. Riley doesn’t hold himself that way when anyone else tries to engage with him, which makes Barry wonder if the teenager has a crush. He wouldn’t be shocked; Lisa is a striking beauty and has made a point to talk to Riley both times he’s been here.

When Lisa walks back toward the bar, she winks at Barry before disappearing into the kitchen. He looks back to Riley, who is now intently writing in a notebook, back hunched and head close to the table.

A few moments later, Barry feels himself stiffen and wonders if he looks like a replica of Riley as he watches his own crush walk through the door. Barry hastily grabs onto a nearby cloth and pretends to be wiping down the counter. He gives a silent, respectful nod toward Captain Cold as the attractive man strides into the bar. The handsome newcomer gives a slight uplift of his head in response, making Barry’s heart flutter. Usually when the man comes to the bar, he goes to his booth and waits for Lisa. Today, Riley is once again sitting in the coveted booth, causing the leader of the Rogues to freeze. The man rolls his shoulders before turning to scowl at Barry as he approaches the bar, surprising the bartender as he leans against the counter directly across from Barry.

“Is this going to be a habit of yours?” Snart drawls as he picks at his cuticle, body facing the open area.

“Uh… what?”

Barry cringes at his eloquent word choice. Whenever he’s fantasized about Captain Cold approaching him, Barry is suave as they flirt with each other until the older man drags him away for a hot make-out session. The reality is that Barry’s single syllable stuttering causes the criminal to raise an eyebrow at him, most likely questioning the Barry’s intelligence. As Barry gets a once over, which he swears doesn’t make him shiver, Barry contemplates hiding under the bar until the gorgeous Rogue comes to his senses and walks away.

“Bringing your kid to work. Should I start expecting to see him sitting at my table every time I come here?” The question feels more like an accusation even though Snart’s volume and tone would sound casual to anyone listening.

“Umm… yes? I mean, Lisa said Riley could wait here after school while I finish my shift since he doesn’t like to be home alone.” Barry gulps and shifts his weight between his feet. He isn’t used to someone staring at him while exuding power so effortlessly. Not to mention the man’s face makes Barry’s knees feel weaker than he knows they are. “I… uh, can have him sit somewhere else? If that booth is what you want?”

 Barry can’t look away from the heated blue eyes studying him. The man holds his gaze for another minute before he lessens his intensity. “There are a lot of things I _want_ , Barry, but for right now, I’ll just take a beer.”

It takes Barry’s brain a few breaths to catch up to the fact that Captain Cold just sat down. At his bar. Right in front of him. Asking for a beer. Using his name.

“Right… let me…” Barry pops the cap off the brand he knows the object of his infatuation drinks, because he may or may not have paid attention to little details like that about a man who spoke to him for the first time a few days ago even though they’ve been in the same room on and off for a couple years. _That’s totally normal behavior_ , Barry tries to convince himself.

Barry suddenly realizes he’s awkwardly staring at the beautiful criminal when the man smirks at him. Barry walks away without saying a word to check on the man at the other end of the bar. While he’s there, taking in some much-needed air, Barry sees Lisa heading toward Riley with a tray of tater tot nachos and a soda. After she drops off the food and drink, she heads over to where her brother is perched, observing the entire space.

“Did Riley order that?” Barry asks excitedly as he approaches the siblings. Lisa looks at him with confusion, perhaps mistaking his eagerness for anger.

“It’s on the house, handsome. I told Riley he deserved a special treat after surviving the first day of mandated prison for children.”

Barry huffs out chuckle. “Thanks, Lisa. I was hoping he chose food for himself, for once.” At Lisa’s confused look he continues to explain, trying to ignore the presence of the man who’s sitting aloof, but Barry knows is paying attention. “He doesn’t eat much. I’m trying to be creative to get him to eat more, but he usually just pushes food around until I finish eating. I’m worried he isn’t eating enough to help him grow.”

Barry glances over to his foster-kid and is thrilled to see he’s taken a fork to the nachos and is diving back in for more. He continues to watch the teenager take a big drink of the soda before stabbing some more food and continuing to work in his notebook.

Barry smiles at Lisa, who is watching Riley fondly. “If all it takes to get him to eat is for a beautiful woman to bring him food, I may have to hire you to deliver every meal.”

Lisa looks back to Barry with a twinkle in her eye. “Most men will do just about anything for a pretty face.” She smirks at her brother as she fakes innocent curiosity. “Did you finally decide to claim a new… seat, Lenny?”

Captain Cold forces his face to a neutral expression as he considers his sister’s question. “Well, since you started letting children sit at the booths, I figured I should relocate to the adults’ table.”

“Mmhmm. And the fact that this spot has a better, _close-up_ view has nothing to do with your choice, hmm?” Lisa practically purrs her retort as her brother’s face loses its mask, hardening just a bit.

“If that’s what you say, Lise.” The man’s words are clipped. He takes a swig of his beer and glares at his sister as Lisa waves him off, throwing one last comment over her shoulder as she saunters away.

“I’ve been saying that for years, brother.”

 

Somehow, Barry makes it through the next hour without embarrassing himself. It helped that Captain Cold spent some of the time in Lisa’s office, and when he returned to his stool at the bar, Barry kept himself busy with other customers.

As Barry walks Riley out of the bar to leave after his shift ends, he can’t help but peak at the older the man once more, who was apparently watching their every move. Barry is shocked and almost trips when Snart motions to Riley and says, “See ya around, kid.”

Riley stops, looking like a deer caught in headlights, but recovers quickly. “Yeah. See ya.” He glances up at Barry before continuing toward the exit. Barry starts to follow, but a firm hand on his upper arm freezes him to the spot. He looks at the hand before looking into the eyes of the man who touched him. Surprisingly, Barry doesn’t feel fear at being grabbed by the most notorious criminal in the city. _Yep, those eyes will be my undoing_.

“He can keep the booth.” Barry feels his jaw start to drop and promptly snaps it shut. “It’s a good spot to keep an eye on everything. And I don’t mind sitting here… do you?”

“No,” Barry all but whispers. “I don’t mind… you… sitting here.”

Piercing blue eyes hold Barry’s gaze a little longer before the man slowly releases Barry’s arm. It was a firm grip, grounding Barry; he misses the pressure as soon as it’s gone.

Barry wills his feet to follow his foster-kid out of the building and tells himself not to turn around until he gets outside. Before he reaches the door, Barry looks up to see Riley still standing inside the building, arms crossed over his chest. _Shit_ , Barry thinks, and he knows that sentiment is all over his face as he watches the kid slowly raise an eyebrow at him and let a small grin appear.

“You ready to go?” Barry’s voice is shaky, and he doesn’t wait for a response as he pushes the door open.

“Are you?”

Barry ignores the humor in the question and answers by walking at a quick pace to the bus stop, Riley on his heels. As they wait for their ride home, Barry rolls his eyes to the sky, cursing his luck. He doesn’t know how to feel about the fact that Riley will willingly eat when Lisa brings him food and willingly speak when Lisa’s brother addresses him.

_Maybe I should adopt the Snarts into our family as well._ Barry shakes his head at the absurdness of that thought as he follows Riley up the stairs and into the bus. He’s thankful the teenager isn’t calling Barry out on his embarrassingly awkward moment with a gorgeous criminal.

The ride home calms Barry, ending his day with peace as he sits next to Riley. He can’t complain about how things have progressed for far, yet he is painfully aware that they still have a long road ahead of them before their new normal starts to just feel… normal.

Barry watches Riley as the kid stares out the window at the city passing by. He wonders if Riley is starting to feel like he can trust Barry, if the kid knows Barry cares about him and is happy to have him in his life. Barry is confident that this situation is a good thing for both of them, finally agreeing with Judy’s assessment that Barry can provide Riley with a home that will help the struggling teenager. Barry just hopes that Riley will start to see it that way, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> I hope you're still enjoying getting to know the characters as they get to know each other and figure out their new lives together. Time will speed up once our guys fall into their routine, which should be within the next two chapters. My outline for this story covers the school year with a few road blocks and conflicts for the characters to manage. If you'd like to let me know your thoughts, I'd love to hear from you :)


	8. Advice

Uncertainty starts to invade Barry’s thoughts when Judy calls for her scheduled check-in exactly one week after Riley moved in with him.

“Hey, Judy.” Barry moves to continue his conversation away from the customers at Saints and Sinners. Lisa isn’t in, making Barry the person in charge, so he simply relocates to the back of the eating area. He leans against the wall, looking out of the blurry window even though he can’t actually see anything on the outside.

“Barry! How are you, honey?” As always, Judy’s voice brings a smile to his face, one he’s sure the woman can hear through the phone.

“I’m fine. Everything is going well here with Riley.”

“Oh good! I’m so glad to hear that. What’s happened since I dropped him off last week?”

Barry gives a brief recap of the week Riley’s had, listing the people he’s met and the outings he’s experienced. Although he tells Judy that Riley spends time at Saints and Sinners while Barry finishes his shift every day, he leaves out the fact that Captain Cold has interacted with and approved of Riley being around. He knows Judy is extremely tolerant and not quick to judge people for their pasts, but, still, Barry figures it’s best not to include a notorious criminal in his arsenal of adults influencing his new foster-kid.

“That all sounds wonderful, Barry. I’m happy to hear that your friends are a strong support system for you and for Riley. The more people that can show they truly care about Riley, the sooner he’ll be able to start trusting in people again.”

“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. Riley has a lot of adults in his corner now, and he’s opening up with a few of them already.”

“And how about you? Has Riley started to show he trusts you, Barry?”

“Uh…” Barry isn’t sure how to answer that question. Riley goes along with anything Barry suggests and doesn’t complain. However, that’s not a great indicator of Riley’s feelings since the kid still doesn’t offer much information or initiate conversations. Does Riley feel safe? Barry thinks so. _Does Riley trust me…?_

“It’s not a trick question, honey. I don’t expect Riley to be one hundred percent himself or vulnerable with you for quite some time. I’m truly impressed that you’ve managed to help him begin to form meaningful relationships with anyone after just one week. Then again, I knew you were who Riley needed.”

The praise from Judy and admiration in her tone makes Barry blush. He shifts his weight, runs his free hand through his hair, and picks at invisible dust on the wall. He’s thankful Judy can’t see him right now since he feels like he resembles an embarrassed teenager more than a responsible parent.

“Thanks, Judy.” There’s a long pause in their conversation, and Barry realizes Judy is giving Barry time to elaborate on his situation. “I, uh… I feel like I’m doing everything I should right now. I don’t want to overwhelm him, and I know… I realize that it takes… time… to trust someone. So, I just plan on keeping our routine consistent and continuing to talk to him, even if he isn’t ready to offer much himself. Unless there’s something else I should be doing?”

“No, sweetie. You’re doing a great job. There’s not one right way to raise children or build relationships. The more organic you can be about it, the better. Kids are quick to identify when adults are insincere.”

“Yeah... And I am, being sincere. It’s just… difficult to tell how Riley perceives everything. But I’m sure it’ll get better.”

Barry can almost hear Judy thinking about how to say the next point she wants to make. He appreciates that the woman always tells Barry the truth, no matter how harsh that truth may be.

“Barry, do you want to continue fostering Riley?”              

“Yes! Why? Did he say something? Does he not want to be here? Am I doing something wrong? Did I -” Barry’s panic rises quickly; thankfully, Judy interrupts him before he can spiral too far.

“No, honey. Everything is fine. It’s just a question I make sure to ask every foster-parent at our first check-in.” Her soothing tone reassures Barry, but his heart is still racing and he feels overheated.

“Okay. Good, because… I-I’d like to have Riley stay with me... long-term. I mean, until he ages out. Or… umm…”

“I know what you mean, Barry,” Judy says affectionately. “We can talk more about that later. Right now, I just want to make sure you both have the support you need to continue moving forward. And Barry, I want you to be prepared for things getting worse with Riley before they get better.”              

“Worse?”

“Riley’s had a really tough time dealing with adults leaving him, and most of them left by choice. I’m sure he’s been struggling with feeling unwanted and alone, even when he’s around people. Some kids, like Riley, will push boundaries and test the loyalty of the people who claim they care. They believe it will hurt less to push their new family away before they have the chance to be left again.”

Barry thinks about that for a moment. When he was in the system, he never wished to settle in with a new family while his real family sat in prison; for many years, Barry believed his dad would be released and they’d be able to live together again. However, he did watch a lot of other kids act out when things became better for them, sabotaging the situation even if it was exactly what they wanted.

“I’m not sure how Riley’s fear and anxiety will continue to manifest. This will be the first time someone truly wants him to stay and be a part of a family since his mom died. He might not know how to handle feeling wanted."

“I understand. Thanks, Judy. I’ll try to be ready for when that happens and just… keep showing Riley that I do care? I’m not really sure what to do to prove to him that I want him here and won’t leave him.”

“All you have to do is be yourself, Barry. You’re a good man with a kind heart. You’ll figure it out. And Riley will figure it out, too.”

Judy tells Barry that she will call Riley to check in with him, too, now that she has his cell phone number, and that she’ll meet up with both of them in a few weeks. After Barry hangs up, he rests his forehead against the wall, closes his eyes, and takes a few deep breaths.

Barry isn’t sure why he feels so disappointed. He knew that Riley was struggling and that it would take a long time for the kid recover. It’s not like things were going badly with Riley. _Maybe that’s my issue_ , Barry contemplates. _Things are going well, and I don’t want anything to change_

Barry stands up straight and shakes his head as he goes back to work. He recognizes the ridiculousness to his thought, knowing things must change. Riley has a lot of improvements he needs to make to his physical, emotional, and social health. While Barry may not know exactly how to help with all of that, he does know he can remain positive and supportive, no matter what the teenager throws at him.

 

Over the next two days, Barry watches Riley with more purpose, trying to identify his foster-kid acting out against him and his new life. Riley doesn’t behave in ways that appear defiant, but he also doesn’t seem to be happy with what’s going on around him. Barry starts to become increasingly anxious that he’s preventing Riley from healing and growing from his trauma, so by the time he gets home from working at Cupid Friday night, or rather Saturday morning, he’s a walking mess of doubt and uncertainty. He’s relieved to find Iris sleeping on his couch curled under a blanket.

“Iris,” Barry whispers as he shakes his friend’s shoulder. “Iris.”

“Hmm? Wh- ? Barry?”

“Hey.”

“What time is it?” Iris asks through a yawn. She opens her eyes but doesn’t move to get up.

“Uh… around 4:30, I think.”

The glare she sends Barry makes him wince and sit back onto the coffee table, giving himself a little more space in case her fists decide to back up her eyes.

“And you thought it’d be a good idea to wake me, why?” Iris keeps her voice quiet, but doesn’t bother to hide her annoyance, making it sound like she’s hissing.

“Umm… because… I’m home? And… I guess you can leave now?” Barry wipes his hands along the tops of his jeans and drops his gaze between his knees. He feels Iris study him, and then sees her blanket move as she adjusts into a sitting position with her back against the armrest.

Iris pats the couch just beyond where her feet are tucked under the blanket. Barry looks up at her shyly, then slowly moves to the spot she indicated. Even sleep deprived and grouchy, Iris has eyes like a hawk and can see right through Barry and into his worried soul.

“Come on. Tell me what’s wrong.”

This is exactly what he wanted, yet Barry finds himself hesitating, unsure how to explain what’s going on in his mind.

“Nothing’s wrong…”

“Barry.” Iris’ sharp tone lets him know she doesn’t feel like waiting for Barry to beat around the bush before getting to the real issue. “You woke me up, without coffee, at 4:30 in the morning. Something’s bothering you.”

Barry throws his head back, resting it on the top of the couch as he closes his eyes. He crosses his arms, not sure if he’s ready to hear Iris’ assessment. He asks quietly, “Do you think I’m good for Riley? That I should be his foster-parent?”

“Yes.” Her tone is clipped and definitive. Barry sighs before challenging her.

“Don’t you want to think about it for a moment?”              

“No, Barry.” Iris puts a hand on his shoulder, causing Barry to open his eyes and glance at her. “I don’t need to.” She gently shoves Barry back and forth until he sits up and faces her. “What brought this on? Are you having buyer’s remorse?”

“I didn’t buy him, Iris.” Barry glares at his friend and his fear momentarily turns to anger. Iris waves him off before he can say anything else.

“It’s an analogy. My brain doesn’t function properly before coffee. You know I didn’t mean that literally.”

Barry deflates and hangs his head in acceptance, going back to feeling doubt again.

“Did something happen?” Iris’ voice is softer now, trying to cajole information from him.

“No, and that’s the problem! Nothing is happening, at least not with me, and what if nothing ever does?” Barry can feel the panic rising in him, and he knows Iris sees it based on her reaction to his outburst. Thankfully, she’s well-trained in how to calm Barry down before he initiates a panic attack.

“Okay, Barr. Let’s talk about this and try to figure it out, okay?” She rubs circles on his back in a slow rhythm, one he knows he’s supposed to match his breathing to. Iris waits a few breaths before she starts to question Barry again.

“Did Riley say something to you? Or indicate that he doesn’t want to be here?”

“He never says anything to me, unless I ask him a direct question. So, I don’t know… but he seems unhappy all the time.”

“I can understand why that must feel frustrating, Riley not talking to you. Especially since that’s the way you like to figure things out. Maybe he communicates differently, and you just need to learn how to speak his language.”

“I don’t know, Iris. What if he just hates me and doesn’t want to be here, but doesn’t want to say anything because he’s tired of moving around?”

“Any reason he has for wanting to stay here is a good reason right now. You told me he’s depressed, right?” Barry nods. “Well, maybe he seems unhappy here because he’s struggling with that. I find it really hard to believe that Riley hates you.”

Iris is still rubbing circles, but it starts to feel like too much, so he wiggles until she removes her hand. He wants to believe Iris, wants to think that Riley’s sadness isn’t a result of Barry being in his life. He doesn’t know why doubt likes to fester inside of him, especially after feeling so confident about their situation only a few days ago.

“I just… I really want him to be okay. And I want him to be happy here. I like having him around, even though we barely know each other.”

“Maybe that’s what you should focus on.”

Barry looks into Iris’ eyes with confusion, needing her to explain. He feels much calmer now, and the rational part of his brain is starting to kick in again, meaning he trusts that Iris knows what she’s talking about.

“You both have so much to learn about each other, and that’s going to take time. You are two different people with difference experiences, even though you have this one thing in common.” Iris doesn’t need to specify their one commonality of being in the system. “I’m sure as you get to know each other, it’ll be easier for you to connect. You just have to be patient.”

“How am I supposed to get to know him if he won’t talk to me?” Barry can hear the helplessness in his voice. Even though Riley does reciprocate when they do their “sharing and questioning,” everything Barry’s learned about the teen is small, superficial information that doesn’t help Barry understand Riley on a deeper level.

Iris reaches out, squeezes his knee, and smiles gently. “You’re the parent, Barr. You have to show him how to do that. It has to start with you.”

They both lean back where they’re sitting, mulling over their conversation. Barry is thankful he has Iris to talk to about these feelings, the fear he has about being an inadequate parent. He can’t imagine how difficult it must be to raise a kid alone without another adult personally invested in the well-being of your child.

“I’m going back to sleep. Wake me up at seven with coffee. And French toast.”

Barry laughs as his friend slinks back down and turns her face into the back of the couch. He fondly watches her get comfortable, fixes her blanket, and heads to the shower. He planned on staying awake until Eddie picks up Riley for the baseball game today; washing off the smells and glitter from work and cooking a big breakfast for two people he cares about will help him pass the time until he can rest.

“Thank you, Iris.”

“Mmhmm. Any time."

 

Barry receives more parenting advice from his dad during their visit on Sunday. He’s exhausted from working back-to-back nights at Cupid and still trying to maintain a normal schedule with Riley. Henry picks up on Barry’s fatigue and the doubt that still lingers.

“You look like a real parent now, Slugger. Tired, but happy eyes. Trying to keep up with a kid that will always be able to outrun you. Questioning everything you’ve done.” Henry smiles as he says this, and Barry chuckles at the backhanded compliment.

“Yeah, I guess I’m earning my stripes pretty quickly.” Barry looks over at Riley, who is playing on his phone in the adjacent booth. Barry leans closer to the partition that separates him from his dad before whispering, “I just feel like I’m… screwing everything up. Or going to.”

His eyes dart up to look at his father when he hears laughter from the other end of the phone.

“Every parent feels that way, son. And every parent screws up.” Henry’s eyes portray his kindness, so Barry knows he’s not being teased.

“You didn’t.”

Barry sinks in his seat a little at his dad’s pointed look and eyebrow raise. “This isn’t your fault. You shouldn’t be in here; you did nothing wrong!” Barry’s irritation at his dad’s life sentence creeps into his tone. His dad’s expression softens, as does his voice.

“The fact that you believe I didn’t hurt your mother is what helps me survive this place. But, regardless of my innocence, I still missed most of your life. I wasn’t there for you when you grew up. You had to raise yourself, be your own parent, since I couldn’t be that for you.”

Barry turns his head and rests his chin on his shoulder. He feels the emotions build, ready to overflow if he thinks too long on his teenage years without his father by his side. He wipes his eye on his sleeve before facing his dad again.

“Even excluding this, son, your mom and I weren’t perfect. We constantly doubted ourselves, worried if we made the right choices in your schooling, or how we responded to you, or what we allowed you to do or not do. Eventually, we had to accept the fact that we were going to get it wrong, repeatedly. And, that you’d be okay.”

“But, what if I make a terrible mistake?” Barry whispers into the phone. “What if I hurt him?” He doesn’t know if his dad hears his last question; Barry could barely voice his biggest fear.

“I’ll let you in on a parenting secret,” Henry offers. Barry looks up at his father, hopeful that he can make all his insecurities vanish.

“You are going to make many mistakes.” Barry’s eyes widen, not expecting his dad's blunt comment. “And odds are that you will hurt him, too. Unintentionally.” Barry’s eyebrows draw together, frustrated that his dad isn’t giving him the pep talk he wanted.

“And, Barry, this is the most important thing to know: it’ll be alright.” Barry looks down and shakes his head, trying not to laugh or cry at his dad’s simple honesty. His bedside manner is still a little dry.

“All parents can do is the best they can every day. And when things go badly, you address them and move on.” Barry looks up with wet eyes at the man who’s loved him his whole life. Barry nods his head in acceptance, knowing his dad is right and he should stop freaking out over things that haven’t happened.

“You have to trust that you’ve taught your kid how to handle adversity so he can work through his own struggles, and then be there for him when he needs your support. Keep loving him fiercely, like I know you already do, and Riley will always have a safe place to run to when the world becomes too much.”

Barry sniffles as he smiles up at his dad. “I can’t believe your frightening parenting advice actually made me feel better. Thanks, dad.”

“You don’t need my advice, slugger. Just believe in yourself, like I always believe in you.”

 

On the bus ride back to Central City after they leave Iron Heights Prison, Barry looks over Riley as the kid sits with his head against the window and his eyes closed. Barry hasn’t seen his foster-kid much the past couple of days due to working at Cupid, but Riley still had a full weekend without him. Thursday was a quiet night after Riley returned home from his therapy appointment. It’s the one day during the week that the Riley won’t meet Barry at work since they both finish at the same time. Barry thinks that Thursday may always be a calm, independent night for them, at least while Riley still needs to work with his therapist.

On Friday, Iris picked up Riley at 5:30 from the apartment before embarking on their shopping spree. Riley didn’t say much about their night together, but Iris claimed that they had a good time and that Riley ate his entire dinner. They went to at least four different stores to buy clothes, but Barry is suspicious that Iris purchased more for her “nephew” than she admitted.

Saturday morning, Barry provided the requested breakfast, and Riley woke up to eat with them before getting ready for his day at the ballpark. Cisco sent Barry pictures while he was at work of their time at the game. Somehow, Cisco was able to get a picture of him and Riley standing together with the field behind them. Cisco has his arm around the kid’s shoulder, and Riley has the smallest hint of smile gracing his face, making it Barry’s favorite picture of the day. His friend stayed the night with Riley and introduced some new videogame to the teenager. Barry received another picture of Riley around midnight, this time of the kid passed out in his chair still wearing his clothes.

Barry rationalizes that Riley must be exhausted from the long and busy week, but that doesn’t stop him from questioning his foster-kid, again, on their way back into the city.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine.” Riley doesn’t open his eyes, making it easier for Barry to continue scrutinizing the teen.

“It’s okay if you’re not. I’d rather you be honest with me than withhold the truth.” Barry pauses as Riley huffs out a breath. “You won’t hurt my feelings, if that’s what you’re worried about. And I won’t get mad.”

Riley opens his eyes and tilts his head back, rolling his eyes at the ceiling. He lets out an aggravated sigh, then responds with his eyes still focused upward.

“I’m just tired, Barry. Really, I’m fine. It’s just that…” Barry gives Riley the time he needs to decide what he wants to say.

“You, and your friends, do a lot. I’m not used to… doing things. So, I’m just… tired.”

“Oh.” Barry’s gaze softens as he takes in what Riley just revealed. The few words Riley chooses to speak always feel heavy with meaning. Barry isn’t sure if it’s intentional or just the kind of person Riley is: having the ability to say a lot with few words. This time, it also feels like there’s more meaning behind what Riley didn’t say.

“I’m sorry I didn’t consider that when making our plans. I guess I haven’t given you any time to adjust to a new schedule.”

“It’s fine.”

“Thank you, for letting me know.” Barry could let the conversation end there, but he considers all the advice he received this weekend and decides to push a little more, hoping to model good communication for his foster-kid.

“Riley, I want you to know… to feel… that you’re an active member of this family. Meaning, you’re allowed to make decisions. Our plans aren’t set in stone. We can change them whenever we need to. You can change them. You can say no. You have a say in what we do, in what you do.”

Riley adjusts his position so that he’s sitting straighter, head neutral, and looking at Barry out of the corner of his eye. He seems tense even though Barry was practically whispering as he spoke. When Barry gets a head nod, he takes that as a good sign and continues his modeling. He takes a deep breath before sharing some of his own truths, taking the plunge and hoping it pays off.

“As soon as I could, I moved out of my group home and into our apartment with Iris. She knew I couldn’t afford to live on my own, and I’d never agree to move into Joe’s house, so she found us a place to live while she went to college and I looked for a job.”

Barry knows he overshares when trying to explain himself or tell a personal story. He doesn’t have Iris’ skill or eloquence at weaving together information to captivate his audience. But, he can sense Riley’s focus, the kid clearly paying attention as Barry blurs his vision to focus on his story.

“That first year was… terrible. The only good thing I took from the system was Judy. She checked in on me from time to time, but all she could give me was emotional support and the occasional cup of coffee. My dad finally convinced me to drop my quest to have his sentence repealed to free him from prison. I don’t know how he persuaded me… I guess I was so exhausted from fighting everyone, fighting the system that failed us, that it was easy to give up…”

Barry bites down the resentment that threatens to surface as he recalls that particular memory. He still feels like he’s failed his father, that he never should have given up trying to exonerate his dad. But, Barry knows his own guilt isn’t the point he’s trying to make, so he pushes it to the back of his mind.

“So, instead of going to college with the intent of finding a job that would help me save my dad, I started looking for jobs to pay rent and tried to figure out what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.”

He refocuses on Riley, who’s now fully watching Barry as he tells his story. Barry offers a self-deprecating grin before he continues.

“Let’s just say I failed spectacularly once my sole purpose in life was gone and I was left to think about myself for the first time.” Barry decides to leave out the boring details about his difficulty finding someone who would hire him, the harsh rejection he faced, and his anger and resentment boiling over that led him into isolation and despair. _Riley doesn’t need to hear every little terrible thing to understand that life was tough_ , Barry concludes.

“I was lost, and confused, and felt… alone. I started living in a way that… supported those feelings. Like a… self-fulfilling prophecy. Eventually, Iris helped pull me out of my… funk.

“She started small: dragging me out of bed to get coffee in the mornings. Taking me to Joe’s for a free meal. Putting me on the bus to go see my dad…

“After a few weeks, it was easier for me to go out on my own, to make my own plans, even if it was just to go to work and cook dinner for me and Iris. Once I felt better, back to myself… or the version I like most, I realized that having a schedule and making plans, no matter how small, helped me feel like I had purpose again. I had people counting on me and activities I looked forward to doing.”

When Barry made eye contact with his foster-kid, Riley was studying him as if he was a complicated math problem that he was just beginning to solve.

“For me,” Barry continued slowly, quietly. “I feel… my best… when I have things to do, whether they’re special or mundane. I know it’s important to take time to reflect, or recharge, or just… be… but I haven’t needed to do that in a while. And, I think I may have gone… overboard, with you. Trying to give us both positive things to focus on.”

Barry takes a risk as he reaches out to pat Riley’s knee. He’s been reluctant to offer physical affection, not knowing how Riley would feel about it coming from Barry. He’s relieved when the kid doesn’t flinch or pull away.

“I’m sorry, Riley. I’m sorry for not noticing I was… overwhelming you. For not thinking you might need something different than what I did. What I do. I’ll do better asking you, and I hope you’ll feel comfortable enough to tell me what you need.”

Barry keeps looking at Riley, giving the kid time to process what he just said. After a few moments, Riley starts to respond.

“I…” Riley clears his throat, still trying to find the words he wants. Barry removes his hand from Riley’s knee, clasping both of his hands together and resting them in his lap, giving the teenager not only time, but space, to gather his thoughts.

“I like doing things with you. And with your friends. It’s just… different.”

_He’s a kind person_ , Barry surmises. Riley could have used a number of other adjectives to describe Barry and his friend’s bombardment the past week. Riley could’ve reacted with anger, annoyance, frustration, or hurt. Instead, he reacted with compassion and understanding. Barry realizes there’s a poise about Riley not many fifteen-year-olds possess. It’s easy to miss since it hides behind Riley’s quietness, but it shines through in private moments like this, when Riley offers something of himself to others.

“Okay,” Barry concedes. “I guess we’ll just keep working on your stamina to help you keep up with all of us old people.” They both relax as Riley offers a small grin to Barry’s teasing. Barry thinks he even catches an eye roll, which makes the older man smile even wider at his foster-kid.

“It has been a pretty full week for both of us. How do you feel about grabbing some food and heading home? We can put on sweats and lounge around the rest of the day?”

Riley nods his head in obvious relief, and even vocalizes a “yeah” to their new plans.

 

The rest of their Sunday goes by quickly and comfortably. They pick at their Chinese food for lunch and dinner, which Barry ordered extra of in the hopes of Riley continuing to increase his calorie intake. They watch a couple episodes of Adventure Time until they head to bed a little earlier than normal.

Barry still worries that he might not be doing everything he can for Riley, and, clearly, he missed the mark on some of his intended help, as evident by their bus conversation today. But that moment they had, as Barry shared a deeper, more private aspect of himself, renewed Barry’s optimism that, slowly, they’ll be able to keep making progress.

_Perhaps,_ Barry hopes, _both our lives will be different… be better… together._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading another lengthy chapter! It wasn't my intention for this to be so long; originally, I only planned for the scene with Judy and Iris, but the guys had some thoughts they wanted to share :)
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading! Time will move faster in the next two chapters as Riley settles in to his routine.


	9. Same but Different

Riley checks the calendar on the wall Monday morning to see what’s happening this week. Cisco wrote **ROCK BAND** in orange marker to take up the entire box for Wednesday; Riley chuckles thinking about how quickly the man inserted himself into Barry’s family planning like it was the most natural thing to do. Usually, Riley has therapy on Thursdays, but this week the blue **DF@3** has **RESCD?** written next to it and **PT Conf @6** added below in purple. Riley staggers a little when he processes that this week is the first of October.

It’s been almost eight weeks since Riley moved in with Barry, and, somehow, he’s fallen into a comfortable routine against his better judgment. Admittedly, his foster-dad is a decent guy and still spends a lot of time with Riley, even when Barry is tired from working the weekends. Riley doesn’t know how Barry functions working seven days a week, plus spending his free time doing things with his friends or Riley. The man seems to have an abundance of energy, as if he runs at a faster frequency than everyone around him.

Riley feels like he’s adapted to Barry’s crazy schedule, now used to doing something extra almost every night and on the weekends, but his anxiety and sleepless nights haven’t changed. He didn’t want to, he even told himself not to, but Riley couldn’t help caring about the new people in his life. But, he knows caring for people isn’t a smart thing to do, and after he enjoys their company, Riley often feels angry or upset for allowing himself to be so vulnerable and open with the people who will eventually leave him.

His normal nightmares are still present: watching his mom suffer through her cancer, his dad ignoring him or acting like he can’t hear or see Riley even when he’s screaming at him, and waking up in his childhood home and not being able to find anyone no matter where he looks are the most common. But now, after stupidly liking Barry and his friends, Riley’s dreams also include them getting sick or disappearing or telling Riley they hate him or Barry kicking him out of the apartment because Riley’s such a burden on his life. Most of the time, Riley can tell himself that his nightmares aren’t real, that Barry would never treat him that way. That fight in his own mind has only added to Riley’s anxiety, however, and he worries that he has limited time to enjoy his newfound happiness before his nightmares become his reality once again.

School doesn’t help Riley with his nerves. He hasn’t made any friends, not that he’s tried, and not having friends leaves him open for bullies to identify his as an easy target. Most kids leave him alone, probably not wanting to bother with the weirdo who sits in the back, doesn’t make eye contact, and barely speaks loud enough when called on directly to participate. Riley thinks he’s actually made some enemies after being forced into some group work in his English and science classes. After his lack of support within the groups the first couple times, his classmates started to do his portion of the work, too, so that they don’t have to try to interact with him. _It works out better that way_ , Riley considers _. I get a decent grade without having to do anything. And, I don’t have to talk to anyone_.

The few boys who make snide remarks seem like they have more bark than bite; no one’s tried to get physical with him, typically satisfied to throw hurtful words behind his back loud enough for everyone to hear. Riley does a good job keeping his head down, literally, and acting like he doesn’t care what they say about him. Most of it is generic insults, anyway, since no one knows much about him. His friends from elementary school act like they don’t know him on the rare occasion that they cross paths, and no one else has gotten mean enough to bring up his mom. He’s not sure how he’ll react if that happens…

For now, Riley actively separates himself from his peers as much as possible, which is why he sits in the library during his lunch period every day. Trying to find a place to eat in the cafeteria was stressful when school began. At first, he sat at the end of a table by himself, but after the first week, the other kids at his table started sitting next to him and tried to include him in their conversations. Riley didn’t mind listening, much like he does at Joe’s Monday nights, but when two girls started asking him personal questions three weeks into the school year, he knew it was time to find somewhere else to eat.

Mrs. Jones is one of the oldest people who works at the high school and is the butt of many jokes among Riley’s classmates. She’s been the librarian forever and tries really hard to understand what the new-aged kids like and incorporate those things into her world of books and research. For such an old lady, Riley thinks she does a decent job keeping up with technology. He can’t decide if it’s precious or sad watching her react with over-the-top excitement when students teach her something new on the computer or show her something they created, whether it’s a finished PowerPoint for class or doodling on notebook paper. Mrs. Jones’ sentiments would be obnoxious if they weren’t so genuine; Riley can’t help but see her as a granny who loves all her kids and sees the good in everyone, especially if they’re not so good.

“Good morning, Mr. Whitcomb!” Mrs. Jones smiles as she greets Riley from behind her desk.

“Good morning, Mrs. Jones,” Riley says softly but loud enough for the woman to hear. He makes his way over to the chairs by the electric fireplace and sets his lunch out on the table in front of him. When he decided to eat in the library to avoid noisy girls, Riley hid in the reference section, eating on the floor where no one had a direct line of vision to him. That lasted three days.

 

“Young man,” Mrs. Jones startled Riley when she appeared around the corner from where he was eating. “Do you intend to eat your lunch in here every day?”

Riley wasn’t sure how to respond to the small woman who had her wrinkled hands on her hips as she peered down at him. She didn’t look angry, or like she had the strength to actually yell at him, so Riley decided to lead with the truth.

“Yes, ma’am. I don’t like… the crowds in the cafeteria.” Riley kept his gaze on his sneakers while the librarian deliberated on what to do with him. Riley was surprised when she stepped closer and picked up his bookbag. _She’s stronger than she looks._

“Very well. But you’ll eat at a table from now on. Come on.” She waited until Riley looked up at her, then smiled before she walked away with his bag. Mrs. Jones deposited Riley’s bag by the fireplace and brought him a plastic cup with water in it. “That’s better.”

 

From then on out, Mrs. Jones greets Riley when he enters the library, Riley eats his lunch by the fireplace, and Mrs. Jones gives Riley a cup of water every day. On the second day he ate where she relocated him, Riley’s plastic cup had his name written in permanent marker. He isn’t sure how she knew who he was, or why she used his last name, but it was a nice, in a scarily omniscient sort of way.

Sometimes, other students come into the library to work or check out books during lunch, but everyone leaves Riley alone. Mrs. Jones likes to make idle conversation with Riley, which is very one-sided, but she never pries into personal life. Every now and then she asks Riley for help carrying boxes or shelving books that are too high for her to reach, but she seems to always know when he needs to be left alone. Going to the library for lunch started as a place to hide; now, it’s Riley’s place to relax.

 

 

Riley feels nervous walking up the steps to Joe’s house Monday evening. Ever since the first time Riley participated in the traditional dinner, no one’s missed a meal, even though Barry told him that’s not always the case. Eddie arrived late once, showing up after everyone finished eating because he had to finish paperwork at the station. And Joe was called to a scene before the lasagna finished cooking last week, but he told Eddie to eat before joining him. But Riley, Barry, and Iris have sat together at the dining table every Monday for the past seven weeks, and for the first time, Riley is concerned that Iris won’t be in attendance.

From everything Riley’s heard from others, as well as everything Iris shares, Barry’s best friend is a great reporter who loves her job. It’s easy to see how passionate and dedicated she is to discovering the truth and sharing it with the city. All of her articles she’s mentioned around Riley deal with social justice or awareness. Her personality and beliefs shine through her words, spoken and written, and she’s always on the side of the moral high ground. So, knowing that Riley may have prevented this awesome woman from attending her weekly family dinner makes Riley feel even more guilty than the last time he saw her.

Friday nights became Iris’s scheduled date night with Riley after their first outing to buy clothes. Eddie stepped in one night when Iris had to attend a social function, but not until after Iris took Riley out to grab dinner. Their dates always start with dinner followed by a shopping trip. They’ve been to stores that sell clothes, music, video games, DVDs, comic books, sporting goods, and furniture. Iris always tries to pressure Riley into buying something, that she pays for, and Riley always tries to resist. So far, Riley’s accumulated three times as many clothes as he started with, four pairs of shoes, two Spiderman comics, and a giant bean bag chair.

When they return to Barry’s apartment, Iris is usually content to let Riley disappear into his room for the rest of the night. He knows she sleeps over, even if she’s gone by the time he wakes up Saturday morning, because he sees her on the couch when he goes to the bathroom or kitchen when he can’t sleep. During the most recent Friday, when Riley went to get a glass of water sometime before midnight, Iris was talking on the phone.

 

“I already told you, Linda, Friday nights I stay with my nephew…

“Yes, EVERY Friday…

“You got tickets to see who? …

“WHAT?! That’s awesome! …

“I know, I know. I just, I can’t leave him here alone…

“I don’t know -”

“If you want to leave, you should leave,” Riley interrupted in a clipped tone while reaching for a glass. He shut the cabinet door harder than he intended, making himself flinch before saying, “No one’s making you stay.” He really hoped Barry didn’t ask Iris to stay the night every Friday. _Maybe I should ask Barry what they agreed to._

Riley heard Iris whisper, “I’ll call you back,” and then she appeared on the other side of the sink before Riley could retreat back to his room.

“Riley,” Iris’ voice was placating and the softness set him on edge. “I want to be here. I enjoy our date nights.”

“Well, that doesn’t mean you have to stay here all night,” Riley snapped. “I don’t need a babysitter.”

“I know that. That’s not why I stay.” Riley crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Iris, challenging her. “Honestly, Riley, I know you’d be fine on your own, but I don’t mind staying here with you. And, I get to see Barry in the mornings and make him cook me breakfast.” She smiled, trying to relieve the tension. Riley dug in more.

“Obviously, you have better things to do. You should go hang out with your friends instead.”

“My friends know that I spend Fridays with my nephew -”

“I’M NOT YOUR NEPHEW!”

Riley breathed heavily as he watched Iris’ face morph from shocked to hurt to a mask of blank indifference. She opened her mouth a few times, but couldn’t figure out what to say.

“Barry is not my dad, and you are not my aunt!” Riley didn’t know what overcame him to react with so much hostility. Iris told him she thought of him as her nephew the first day they met, and logically, Riley knew she meant nothing but kindness in the sentiment. But, tonight, when she didn’t really want to be with him, Riley couldn’t handle her misuse of the familial term. _You’re not even really Barry’s sister_ , Riley thought morosely.

As if Iris could hear his thoughts, the woman squared her shoulders, stood taller, and looked at Riley with a fierceness the teen hadn’t been on the receiving end of before now. Riley grounded himself, unwilling to concede his anger.

“That may be true,” Iris began in a quiet, even voice that was more terrifying than if she would’ve yelled. “You, Barry, and I are not related by blood. Barry and I don’t have the same parents, and you weren’t born into our family.” She took a few breaths as she watched Riley, possibly waiting for another outburst, before she continued.

“But Barry IS my brother, in all the ways that actually matter. Our experiences together and our love for each other make us family. And whether you like it or not, Riley,” Iris said pointedly, “you are part of our family now. No matter how much you yell or argue semantics.”

Iris walked away before Riley could think of any way to respond. She disappeared into Barry’s bedroom and Riley returned to his, forgetting all about the glass of water. His drink was still on the counter when he woke up late the next morning, but Iris was gone.

 

Riley holds his breath as he watches Iris greet him and Barry on the doorstep to Joe’s house. His heart starts to race as he prepares for her rejection or another lecture or for Barry to make him apologize for being rude to his best friend. Riley really thought Iris wouldn’t show up for dinner after how terribly he treated her. He knows he deserves that: to be the person who ruined Monday night dinners and have everyone hate him for it.

But after Iris hugs Barry and ushers the man into the house, she turns to Riley and asks in her normal, kind voice, “Everything okay?”

That was such a loaded and ambiguous question, but Riley knew she was referring to the two of them. “Uh… yeah.” Riley’s eyes dart around, the teen finding it difficult to hold eye contact with the woman who should refuse to speak to him.

“Good.” Iris offers a smile as she lets Riley walk into the house where Barry is waiting for them with a confused look on his face. _Apparently she didn’t tell him what happened_. Riley is as surprised by that as he is with the idea of Iris forgiving and forgetting what happened the last time they interacted.

Riley sits on pins and needles throughout the entire meal, waiting for Iris to change her mind and remember that she should be angry with him, but that never happens. Barry asks him twice if he’s okay, to which Riley nods and doesn’t elaborate even though he knows his foster-dad is dying to know what’s going on.

When they prepare to leave, Iris comes over and gives Riley a small hug. She leaves her hands on his shoulders when she says, “I’ll see you Friday. It’s your turn to pick the restaurant.” She smiles while Riley fumbles to form a coherent response.

“Uh… o-okay. Umm… maybe Mexican?”

“Perfect! We can go to El Salto! I haven’t been there in ages. Their salsa and guac is amazing.”

 

 

On Tuesday, Riley has another strange encounter with a different woman who, for some reason, also seems to care about him. Even after seven weeks of knowing her, Lisa Snart maintains goddess status in Riley’s book. She’s beautiful, intelligent, kind, and clearly in charge of everything inside the bar, including the people. She doesn’t work every day that Riley sits in his booth after school, but when she is there, she always talks to him about something. And brings him food. Riley’s body still freezes and heats up whenever she’s near, which shouldn’t make sense, but he’s gotten much better at speaking coherently to the radiant woman.

Today, Lisa brings him a tower of onion rings with four different dipping sauces. When she places his drink on the table and hands him a fork and knife covered in napkins, she says, “These are pretty greasy and delicious. Figured you might want to use a fork to keep your fingers clean while you draw.”

Riley learned quickly that Lisa sees everything that happens in her bar, including Riley’s drawings. He tried to hide them from her like he does with everyone else, but Lisa’s goddess abilities somehow led Riley to letting her look at what he works on when she comes by his booth. She only makes small, positive comments about his work, and never asks questions which Riley is grateful for, but he still blushes and feels embarrassed, as if when Lisa sees his drawings she’s really seeing into the barest part of his soul. It’s unnerving, but he still doesn’t prevent her from looking.

“Thanks, Lisa. What kind of sauces are these?”

“New recipes Mick is trying out. He wants your opinion on each before you leave today.” Mick is like a quiet giant from a children’s story: Riley hears a lot of scary things about how dangerous he is, and of course he looks the part, but all of Riley’s interactions with him show the guy to be a soft-hearted man who simply likes to cook and feed people. Riley doesn’t talk to Mick directly since Lisa acts as their interpreter, but he’s seen the man from time to time, mostly when he steps out of the kitchen to talk to Lisa’s brother.

“Okay, no problem,” Riley says as he cuts up a few onion rings and dips his first bite into a yellowish sauce.

“Scoot over, cutie,” Lisa purrs as she moves to sit down next to him. This is new; Lisa typically drops off his food, says a few words, and leaves to keep working. Riley does as he’s told and turns slightly to look at the woman skeptically as she pulls out a sketchbook and set of pencils and places them on the table. _Where was she hiding those?_ Riley wonders.

“I found these in an old box when I was cleaning this weekend. They used to be Lenny’s, but I figured you’d put them to better use than if I left them to collect dust.” She gives Riley one of her all-knowing grins as he gapes at the gift presented to him.

“I-I can’t take these,” Riley stutters out as he caresses the pencils that are obviously high quality and barely used. Lisa bumps into Riley’s shoulder affectionately and he’s so distracted that he doesn’t even flinch.

“Sure you can, sweetie. I’m giving them to you.”

Riley looks up to Lisa who is still smiling at him. “Are you sure he won’t be mad? That you gave me his things?” He instinctually looks over to the bar as he thinks about Lenny. The older man’s back is to Riley and he can’t tell if the man is flirting with Barry, but by the awkward way his foster-dad is holding himself, it’s probably a good bet he’s at least trying to start up a conversation. Barry’s never talked about his dating preferences to Riley, because that wouldn’t be awkward, but the way his face colors and his eyes always land on the older man, Riley assumes Barry’s at least attracted to Lenny.

“Pfft.” Lisa brings Riley’s attention back to her. “He probably thinks I threw his stuff out years ago. Lenny won’t have any idea you’re using his old pencils or recognize the sketchpad. There might be some of his work in it, but you can just rip those pages out.”

Riley wonders what a man like Lenny would take the time to draw, and he’s kind of excited to flip through the book. He looks Lisa in the eyes before saying a heart-felt “thank you” and returns his attention to the unexpected presents. Lisa ruffles his hair a little before she stands up and heads back to work.

As he flips through the worn sketchbook, Riley finds intricate floorplans and designs for buildings of all shapes and sizes. Each one has meticulous detail and straight lines. He’s fascinated at the architecture drawn by hand and decides to keep the pages intact. Riley doesn’t draw like this, but he can’t help but appreciate the artwork.

He's pulled out of his perusing when Riley hears Lisa’s raised voice ask a customer, “What did you say?”

The man addressing Lisa is sitting at a table with two other guys. They are all middle aged and look like they do manual labor since their jeans are filthy, they’re wearing the same work boots, and they appear to have some muscle on their upper bodies.

“I know you ain’t ever been knocked up,” the man says, and Riley feels disgusted at the way his eyes travel up and down Lisa’s body. “So, he ain’t yours. Unless you keepin’ him on the side.” Riley watches Lisa square up to the antagonizer, but none of the men notice as they snicker together. “He call you momma when you’re alone at night?”

When the other two men look at Riley and laugh, his stomach drops as he realizes the loud man is referring to him. He can’t see Lisa’s face, but he knows she’s pissed when she responds in a sugary-sweet voice and says, “The only person calling out for his momma is gonna be you.”

Riley doesn’t register the movement before he hears a snap and then the man’s head is slammed down hard onto the table. The other two men push back in their chairs and throw their hands up in the air as if the police were telling them to freeze. _They’d probably be better off dealing with police than an angry Lisa._ Riley can hear the subdued man whimpering as Lisa holds his wrist at an angle than doesn’t look comfortable.

“Now,” Lisa continues in that falsely friendly tone. “I know you know better than to make nasty insinuations about me. And you should absolutely know not to talk about my family.”

The men that can move look over to where Lisa’s brother is perched on his bar stool, now facing the commotion, and even Riley shudders at the cold glare being thrown toward the men near his sister. Riley notices Barry still behind the bar and practically vibrating with nervous energy as his face switches between concerned and infuriated.

“As far as you and your friends are concerned, that kid is my family. Understood?”

Lisa twists the man’s arm and seems to apply more pressure where she has him pinned at his neck. The two friends nod their heads frantically as Lisa’s prisoner cries out, “Yes! Ow- y-yes, ma’am! I-I’m sorry, L-Lisa. Ow! P-please…”

“I think you’re ready to go home, hmm?” Everyone at the table nods their heads in agreement as she release the whimpering man. “Leave cash to cover your bill so you don’t have to go to the bar. Unless you want another lecture… with less words.” Lisa tone is fierce now, and she smirks at the men before walking away.

All eyes drift to Len as the woman passes by her bother and they both give a head nod. Len’s posture is intimidating as he leans back against the counter. Confidence, annoyance, and anger exude off the man as he scrutinizes the men Lisa dealt with. Lenny stretches out both hands and cracks his knuckles deliberately for his audience. The men can’t seem to take their eyes off the predator, and Lenny seems to enjoy making a show of crossing one arm across his chest, the other perpendicular to rest his chin on his fist. His stare is penetrating, cold as ice, daring any of them to make a comment.

The men scurry toward the exit quickly, dropping a few twenties on the table, most likely overpaying for the beers they were drinking before making the mistake of insulting Lisa. Riley sees Barry walking toward him at a quick pace, concern now the only emotion on his face.

“Are you okay?” Barry whispers as he checks over Riley. “Did they say anything to you?”

Riley shakes his head and tries to reassure his foster-dad. “No. I didn’t even hear anything until Lisa spoke up.” Barry deflates in relief but still holds onto some tension that Riley wants to eliminate. “Remind me never to get on the Snarts’ bad side.” Riley offers a teasing smile and is rewarded with a laugh from Barry.

“Yeah. You’d think everyone in Central City would know better than to go after Lisa with the leader of the Rogues only a few feet away. They’re lucky Mick was back in the kitchen; he wouldn’t have let them leave without needing stitches.”

Riley doesn’t want to image the damage a man of Mick’s size could do to a person, especially provoked. “Do you think Lisa’s okay?” Riley doesn’t try to hide his worry from his foster-dad.

“I’m sure she’s fine and doesn’t even have a bruise. Lisa is more than capable of handling herself, obviously. I didn’t label her as “Xena: Warrior Princess” without good reason.”

“Who?”

Barry shakes his head in amusement. “Don’t let Cisco find out you don’t know who Xena is. He’ll make you watch the entire series while lecturing you on feminism shown in 90’s television. And that will lead you right into a Buffy marathon.”

Riley rolls his eyes before adding, “Can’t wait.”

“What’s this?” Barry asks softly. Riley follows Barry’s gaze and realizes he forgot he still had the sketchpad open to one of Len’s drawings. “Did you draw this?” Pride and curiosity are present in his foster-dad’s voice.

“No. Lenny did. Lisa gave me his stuff he doesn’t use anymore.”

“Figures.” Riley looks questioningly at Barry when the man huffs out a small snort and just shakes his head, not offering an explanation. The teen isn’t sure which Snart the comment was directed toward, but doesn’t ask for clarification. Barry returns to work, still having about an hour left of his shift, and talks to Lenny for a few moments before helping other customers.

Lenny follows Barry around the room with his eyes and Riley is caught thinking inquisitively about the new information he gathered about the man sitting on a stool. It’s clear that Lisa’s brother has a thing for Barry, even if Barry is oblivious, or, more likely, too flustered to do anything about it. He also has a well-known reputation for fighting or violence or power based on the reactions of the men Lisa kicked out. He clearly trusts his sister and is capable of controlling his emotions. And Barry referred to him as a “rogue,” whatever that means.

When Lenny catches him staring, Riley looks away quickly and opens to a blank page in his new sketchbook. He starts to draw the object of his curiosity as a larger-than-life character based on Riley’s speculations of how he earned his reputation. Lisa comes back to his booth to clear his food and thankfully doesn’t seem to recognize the man Riley’s drawing. _I’m not sure how I would explain this_ , he realizes. Riley gives his input about Mick’s new sauces to Lisa: two were pretty good, one was too spicy, and one had too much going on to really get a taste for what it was.

Barry approaches the booth while Riley’s talking to Lisa. Riley slowly closes his sketchbook to try to prevent his foster-dad from noticing his work, but the man is focused on Lisa.

“I’m sorry about earlier, Lisa. And thank you, for defending Riley.” Barry’s voice tapers off into a whisper by the end of his sentence. Lisa pats Barry’s cheek, causing the man to look her in the eyes.

“Think nothing of it, honey. Assholes like that don’t get to run their mouths around me; they should’ve known better. And I’d defend Riley to anyone.”

Riley blushes and has to look away when Lisa turns to him with a face full of kindness and offers a wink. Never before has anyone flat out said that they would defend him, and he isn’t sure what to do with the feelings that are overtaking him. He gathers his stuff and moves out of the booth to stand with the adults.

“Ready to go home?” Barry asks.

Riley simply nods and the men say goodbye to Lisa as they make their way toward the exit. When they pass by Lenny, the man drawls out, “See ya later, Scarlet.” Riley catches a glimmer in the older man’s eyes and sees the uptick of his lips. Barry mumbles something incoherent and continues to leave the building.

“What was that about?” Riley questions his foster-dad when he catches up to him outside.

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.” The coloring on Barry’s face makes Riley think he has a good idea of what Lenny was referring to, and the teen struggles to stifle a giggle at Barry’s embarrassment. _They already have pet names… kill me now_ , Riley whines internally as he offers his foster-dad a physical eye roll. Riley makes a deal with himself as he considers Barry’s situation with Lenny during the ride home. _If Barry doesn’t tell Cisco I don’t know who Xena is, I won’t tell Cisco about his vomit-inducing romance_.

Riley secretly hopes Xena is mentioned tomorrow night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked a little more angst and drama! Conflicts are going to start picking up now that the characters have some solid footing. And once again I left out a scene with Cisco, but I wanted to post before I turn in for the night and my word count was already pretty high. That scene, which is when the boys play Rock Band, will be the first of the next chapter.
> 
> Thank you for reading! I hope you still enjoy this story as much as I do. I have a lot more planned to share with you, so please stay with me :)


	10. Turning Points

Wednesday night is easily Riley’s favorite night of the week. Almost every night one of the adults in his new life does something with him, and for the most part, Riley enjoys spending time with everyone. But Wednesdays are when Cisco and Barry hang out together, and watching them and listening to their friendly banter puts a smile on Riley’s face. The past few weeks he’s even laughed with the two friends, or because of them, and Riley’s not upset by that anymore; he can’t help but feel relaxed and normal when he hangs out with the grown-up nerds.

Cisco’s excitement for Rock Band was somewhat concerning, but when he explained how he and Barry used to spend their Wednesdays going to karaoke, Riley cut him some slack. Plus, he was curious to hear his foster-dad sing after Cisco spent all week raving about how talented Barry is when he has a microphone. Barry’s embarrassed flush of his face whenever it was brought up was confirmation enough that the man was going to be good at singing. Riley tried, and failed, not to think of Lenny’s nickname for Barry whenever the man became bashful. The teen was eager to let Cisco know about that development and watch the man tease Barry since Riley wasn’t sure he was at the point where he could do that himself.

So far, it didn’t seem like Barry was going to out Riley’s lack of knowledge about Xena, so Riley kept looking for openings in the conversation to drop his information bomb. Neither men offered stories about their karaoke outings; instead, they geeked out on random trivia about the songs and artists they tried to mimic. Riley tuned out most of their chatter and focused on playing his guitar. The three guys would change up what instrument they played now and then, but typically Riley played guitar, Cisco played drums, and Barry sang or played bass.

“ _Loving you isn’t the right thing to do_ ,” Barry sings out as they play their newest song of the night. “ _How can I ever change things that I feel_.”

Riley doesn’t know who Fleetwood Mac is, but the song sounds vaguely familiar as he hits his colored notes on time.

“ _If I could maybe I’d give you my world. How can I when you won’t take it from me_.” No matter what genre Barry sings, he sounds good. _I wonder if he was in choir in high school_ , Riley muses as his foster-dad starts on the chorus.

“ _You can go your own way, go your own way. You can call it another lonely day. You can go your own way, go your own way_.” Barry gets into the music and Riley sees him moving around out of the corner of his eye. He doesn’t look away from the screen, not wanting to mess up the notes and throw everyone off, but Riley smiles at how carefree his foster-dad is when he sings.

When the song ends, Cisco and Barry offer congratulations on everyone’s accuracy. Riley shakes his head in amusement as he repeats the lyrics in his mind.

“I can imagine you saying something like that to Lenny whenever he tries to flirt with you.”

The immediate silence and stillness from the men to his right shock Riley as he realizes he said his thought out loud and was obviously heard. He only regrets his slip for a moment until he realizes this is what he was waiting for all night. Riley casts a hesitant glance toward Barry and isn’t worried about retaliation when the man is struggling to make his mouth function properly to form words. His foster-dad’s eyes keep darting back and forth between Riley and Cisco, most likely trying to decide where his biggest threat is going to come from.

Cisco’s face processes through many emotions quickly, starting with shock and amusement and ending with curious skepticism before he presses Riley for more details.

“What was that, young Padawan?” Cisco leans forward and places his elbows on the drums, drumsticks still in his hand as he holds his cheeks between his fists. He looks ridiculous in that pose, trying for innocence with his eyes, but his evil grin gives him away. He turns his head toward Barry even though he’s still talking to Riley as he says, “Who is this Lenny and what is this flirting of which you speak?”

“He’s no one,” Barry offers quickly. “And there’s no flirting -”

“Ah-ah-ah,” Cisco interrupts and points a drumstick at his friend. “I was talking to young Skywalker here.” He turns back to Riley with an open expression, clearly asking for a better answer than the one Barry just gave.

“Lenny, he’s Lisa Snart’s brother.” At Cisco’s confused look Riley adds, “Lisa is Barry’s boss.”

Cisco sits back on the couch and raises one hand to his mouth as he considers this information. Riley doesn’t usually offer extra words without prompting, but since neither man says anything, he decides to continue.

“Lenny always sits at the bar and talks to Barry while he works. I can see them from my booth, and they’re always watching each other move around when they aren’t talking. It’s nauseating.”

“We don’t always watch each other!” Barry tries to defend himself at an octave higher than his normal voice. At Riley’s challenging eyebrow raise, he pauses, giving Cisco time to change his interrogation to the defensive man.

“Wait, when he says ‘Lenny’ does he mean Leonard Snart, the criminal, aka Captain Cold, who basically manages the underground of Central City after taking out the Santini’s a few years back?” Cisco’s voice raises in volume and speed as he works through his question, a flabbergasted expression covering his face.

“Criminal? What?”

“How do you know about him?” Riley and Barry ask their questions at the same time.

“That’s Lenny?! You’re flirting with a mob boss?!" Cisco stands up, but doesn’t move further.

“Mob boss?”

“He’s not actually a mob boss. He just… makes sure things don’t get out of control.” Again, Riley and Barry speak together, but Riley is ignored by the adults.

“That’s basically a mob boss, Barry! Why are you flirting with a notorious criminal?”

“I’m not!” Barry proclaims, which is quickly followed up with a snort from Riley. Both men look to the teen who shifts his weight back a little before responding.

“Barry really doesn’t, or at least he tries not to, from what I can tell. Not that Lenny seems deterred by his behavior.”

Cisco smiles at Riley and sits back down. Riley does the same, and after a few moments of anxious fidgeting by Barry, the older man sits down on the couch next to Cisco.

“Well aren’t you a little stalker,” Cisco teases good-naturedly. “Is this what you do with your time at Saints and Sinners? Creep on your foster-dad and his new nefarious love interest?”

Barry mumbles something but is easily ignored. “Please,” Riley rolls his eyes. “I wish I could ignore them, but they’re so obvious I can’t not see it.”

“That’s hardly fair,” Barry tries to interrupt, but Riley and Cisco stay focused on each other.

“Barry does get the heart-eyes bad when he’s into someone. Not that it happens often,” Cisco shakes his head in disappointment and tries to hide his laugh from Barry. Riley fails at keeping a straight face.

“Hey! I thought you were my friend,” Barry whines. “Do you two always talk about me like this when I’m not around? Or do you just enjoy picking on me about things that aren’t even happening?” Riley watches his foster-dad cross his arms and pout while he glares at Cisco and pointedly avoids eye contact with Riley.

Cisco turns towards Barry and rests a hand on his shoulder, sans drumstick. “I have been and always will be your friend.”

“Did you just quote “Wrath of Khan” to me as your defense?” Barry tries to maintain his angry demeanor, but his facade cracks as his lips tick up into a small grin.

“What’s Wrath of Khan?” Riley wishes he wasn’t curious about all of Cisco’s references, or that he would stop throwing himself under the bus, but it has been entertaining to have Cisco educate him on things the man deems vitally important to life.

Cisco lets out an over-the-top gasp and places his hand on his chest in mock incredulity. Riley and Barry both roll their eyes at his poor acting skills.

“I don’t know why you’re surprised. The kid doesn’t even know who Xena is.” Barry throws a wicked grin toward Riley, most likely hoping to deflect and deter the focus of this conversation.

“Traitor.”

Barry chuckles. “You started this one, buddy.”

“And don’t think I’ve already forgotten about your criminal rendezvous,” Cisco gives a pointed look to Barry before turning back to Riley and placing a hand on the teen’s shoulder. “Thank goodness I came into your life. The universe clearly wanted me to save your soul.”

“My soul needs saving through useless pop culture references?”

Cisco’s gasp was probably real this time. “They are not useless! Did you not see how useful that one was with Barry? Pfft!” The man turns toward the other adult in the room and stage whispers, “Kids these days: no respect!”

 

Even though students have a half day of school the last two days of the week, Thursday is shaping up to be a longer day than usual and Riley feels every bit of it. He only attended half his classes today, the other half will be tomorrow, but all the teachers acted weird knowing they had Parent-Teacher Conferences in the evenings. Riley’s not worried about Barry meeting his teachers; he earned average grades, didn’t fail anything, and doesn’t think he made enough of an impression in any of his classes to warrant any teacher having something specific to say about him.

Barry told him he could cancel today’s therapy session since they had to attend conferences tonight, but Riley didn’t see the need. Therapy wasn’t fun, but it wasn’t terrible either. Riley likes Dr. Finkel enough to talk with her while he’s in his session, and it helps that she hasn’t forced him to talk about things he doesn’t want to. Typically, Dr. Finkel asks Riley to tell her about his week, and now that he lives with Barry, Riley always has something he can share. She tries to get him to talk about his feelings or his dad or his mom, but Riley either deflects or stops talking to avoid having to think about things he’d rather just forget.

Today, when Dr. Finkel greets him and asks what happened in the past seven days, Riley blurts out that he was given a sketchbook. He’s not sure why he said that. He hasn’t talked about Lisa or mentioned that he likes to draw, but he doesn’t think talking about either of those things will give away too much.

“Who gave you the gift? Was it an early birthday present?” Dr. Finkel asks. Riley appreciates that her tone is always gentle and her eyes are never accusatory. After spending so much time together, he isn’t annoyed by her notebook anymore, and hardly notices her jotting down information about him.

“No, I don’t think she knows my birthday is this month. She said she found it when she was cleaning, so it’s not like she went out and bought it or anything.”

“She must care about you if she was thinking of you and went out of her way to do something nice.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Was Iris the one who gave you the sketchbook?”

“Uh, no. It was Lisa. She’s Barry’s boss at Saints and Sinners.” Riley looks over to the therapist to gage her reaction, but the woman just smiles back at him.

“Do you like to draw?”

“Yeah.”

“And Lisa knows that about you?” Sometimes it annoys Riley to be prompted into giving more information. It makes him feel like he’s five and didn’t know he was supposed to say more, when he actually chose not to share anything else.

“Yeah. I draw a lot while I wait for Barry to finish work. She’s seen some of my stuff…” Riley doesn’t want to share that Lisa always compliments his pictures, so he tries to change topics. “She gave me some really nice colored pencils to use, too.”

“That was very thoughtful of her. Have you drawn anything with them yet?”

Riley shrugs and looks out the window. He doesn’t want to admit that he’s been drawing comic style pictures of Lenny as a superhero who saves people with the help of a woman in gold who looks a lot like Lisa.

Dr. Finkel allows the topic to change, but the rest of the session is pretty one-sided since Riley doesn’t feel like talking about his feelings. He doesn’t understand why she keeps pushing him to think about depressing things when he’s finally starting to feel okay again. He’s been sleeping better with less nightmares and enjoys being with Barry and his friends. He’s still not convinced he’ll get to keep this fairytale life, but he’s gotten better at enjoying the moment instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“Okay, Riley. I’m really happy with all of the progress you’ve been making. And I think it’s time we start discussing the not-so-easy topics. If we bury all the feelings associated with what happened to us in the past, they can maintain power over us and try to take over when we least expect it.”

Riley looks at his therapist, not sure what to say. He doesn’t think he can do what she’s asking, and he’s starting to feel anxious. He rubs his hands on his jeans to try to calm down and scoots to the edge of his chair, hoping Dr. Finkel will tell him he can leave.

“I know it’s difficult for you to think about what happened to you, and that’s completely normal and understandable. And, I believe you’re ready to start dealing with some of that trauma so that you can fully heal.”

Riley can’t make eye contact with her anymore. He hates when she talks about his trauma because Riley feels like she’s overexaggerating his situation. He never experienced trauma: he wasn’t beaten or assaulted or yelled at. He’s never been abused. So, when she says “trauma” it makes Riley’s skin crawl. Sure, he’s in the foster care system, which sucks, but it’s not like he’s the only one. And most of the other kids in the system had it much worse than Riley.

“It’s okay if you feel uncomfortable, Riley. I’m going to help you though this process. You’re not alone.” Dr. Finkel waits until Riley acknowledges he’s heard her before she continues.

“I’m going to give you some homework for our next session. Since it’s not easy for you to talk about these things yet, I’d like you to draw me a picture.”

Riley shoots his head up and glares at the woman sitting across from him. He wasn’t expecting anything bad to come from talking about the sketchbook, but now that it’s being used against him, he wishes he kept his mouth closed.

“Drawing is a great way express ourselves. Sometimes we can say with images what we can’t say with words. So, I want you to draw me two pictures for our next session. For the first one, I want you to show me something you’ve done with Barry. I want the second one to be of something that happened the year before you were placed in foster care. Do you understand?”

Riley nods his head, unable to form words. He can’t figure out how he feels, and it makes him want to run and hide. He needs time to decide if he’s going to do the assignment Dr. Finkel gave him.

As if she can read his mind, the therapist adds, “If you forget to bring your pictures on Thursday, then we can spend the session with you drawing something else for me. I’ll have some supplies ready if needed.”

For the first time in weeks, Riley leaves the therapy office feeling like crap. He doesn’t even say goodbye as he stomps out of the door and down the hall. _Maybe Barry hates therapy for a good reason_ , Riley thinks. _I wonder if my real therapy just started today_.

 

Riley is still feeling strange from how therapy ended as he and Barry walk into the high school. Barry didn’t pry into why he was especially quiet that evening; the man probably assumed it was from therapy or because they had to go back to school before they could go home. Barry promised they could get dessert after the conferences, but Riley doubts he’ll have his appetite back by then.

There are people everywhere in the halls of his school: parents waiting in line to see teachers, students playing on their phones, administrators walking around and talking to people they recognize. It’s easy for Barry and Riley to make their way to his homeroom teacher since Barry doesn’t know anyone and Riley doesn’t have any friends. They are scheduled to have a ten-minute meeting with his homeroom teacher where Barry will receive Riley’s report card and any messages from teachers about Riley’s grades. After that, they are welcome to speak to any teacher they want, but may have to wait in line for scheduled meetings to finish. Riley hopes Barry will want to leave as soon as they get the report card.

His homeroom teacher is also Riley’s science teacher. Riley earned a “B” in his class, and the man didn’t have anything specific to say about his performance. The only teacher who provided additional comments to what was listed on the report card was his English teacher. She left a typed note that said, “ _Riley seems like a good kid. He needs to do a better job of participating in groups, and lost points because he failed to turn in two projects or give a short speech. Projects and speeches are a big part of my grading system and will continue throughout this class with every unit. Please contact me if you have any questions. Thanks_!”

Thankfully, Barry walks out into the hallway and stops where no one else is standing or listening before he starts questioning Riley about his grades.

“Okay, buddy. Just looking at this, you’ll be getting a bonus for your weekly payment since you earned an “A” in your art and gym classes. Nice job!” Riley doesn’t tell his foster-dad that art is the easiest class he’s taking since it’s all drawing and everyone gets and “A” in gym if they dress every day. “Your science teacher seems nice. Do you like his class?”

Riley shrugs. Honestly, his favorite part about that class is that the teacher doesn’t make him talk and the group work can actually be completed individually. The content is easy enough to understand, so it wasn’t too much work to get a good grade.

“I’d like to go talk to your English teacher since she took the time to write a note. You got a “C” in that class… can you tell me why?”

“A “C” is a good grade,” Riley deflects.

“Yes, but according to your teacher, your grade would easily be higher if you did all the work. Why didn’t you complete the projects?”

Riley appreciates that Barry’s tone is curious rather than accusatory, but he still doesn’t want to talk about the assignments he didn’t do. He hopes that Barry will drop the issue.

“I thought the projects were dumb. And you know I don’t like talking in front of people. So…” Riley shrugs again and looks away, not sure what else he could say to appease his foster-dad. Unfortunately, the older man decides to take matters into his own hands.

“I understand. I’d still like to talk to her. And what about your math class? The only comment is “missing assignments” and “low/failing test scores.” I want to talk to her, too, because a “D” seems like a situation where you may need some extra help. How do you feel about that?”

“Can’t you just email her or something? I don’t think she likes me.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Because she doesn’t seem to like me. And I don’t like her.” Riley can feel Barry watching him and waiting for more, but realizes that’s all he’s getting after a few moments.

“Alright. Let’s start with your English teacher, then, and I’ll try to make it quick with your math teacher. I just want to know what I can do to help you. And then we can go home.”

Admittedly, the visit with Ms. Blackthorn is painless. She’s a middle-aged woman with a lot of energy and seems to actually like her job working with kids. She can be overwhelming at times, and is a total nerd, but at least she’s nice. She is extremely friendly with Barry and talks to him quickly between her scheduled conferences, so they only stay for about five minutes. She explains what the two projects and speech assignment entailed, and tells Barry to email her so they can set up a time to discuss the issues more thoroughly.

Talking with Mrs. Schmidt, his math teacher, is as uncomfortable as Riley thought it’d be, and even his foster-dad struggles to maintain his typically pleasant demeanor around the woman.

“Well, Mr. Allen, I can’t tell you how much help Riley might need if he won’t complete his classwork or turn in his homework.”

“I understand what you’re saying, Mrs. Schmidt; Riley does need to do a better job with that so he can get the help he needs. I’m just wondering if you think he needs a tutor, or maybe he could spend some time working with you after school, to make sure he understands what you’re teaching?”

“I stay after school for about forty-five minutes to grade assignments. I suppose he could sit in here to finish his work. Your son has failed almost every test I’ve given, so he’s clearly not paying attention in class. But I’m not going to repeat my entire lesson after school. Your son needs to listen the first time.”

Riley shrinks back a little more and hopes Barry is done with this conversation. _I told you she hates me_ , he tries to communicate telepathically. He hears Barry take a deep breath before continuing.

“Riley is my foster-kid. Do you collect the classwork every day, or is that something he could -”

“Ah. That makes sense.” Riley watches Mrs. Schmidt shake her head while Barry stiffens at either her tone or the fact that she cut him off. “Kids like that have so many problems. It’s no wonder he failed my class.”

“I’m sorry?” Barry’s tone is harsh and his volume increases as he continues. “What do you mean ‘kids like that’?”

“You know,” Mrs. Schmidt waves her hand as if it can explain her meaning. “Kids in the system. By the time you get them, there’s not much you can do for them.” Riley’s teacher talks to Barry as if they are comrades fighting a pointless war together. Riley doesn’t know how to react as he watches his foster-dad start to shake; he wants to run away, and thinks maybe he should grab Barry to put some distance between the two adults.

“First of all,” Barry starts as he takes a step closer to the unsuspecting teacher. “Kids in the system are just like other kids, but they have to deal with the problems of the adults in their lives. It’s never the child’s fault for being placed in foster care.”

Riley looks behind him as he hears whispering and notices that the parents and kids in the hallway are listening intently to the argument inside the classroom. He feels conflicted that people can hear Barry; he doesn’t want his classmates to know he’s in foster care, but he also likes that Barry is sticking up for him, even if it is being done loudly.

“Well, I only meant -”

“Oh, I know exactly what you meant. I’ve known people like you my whole life,” Barry interrupts. “Don’t worry. I’ll find someone who can do your job for you and teach Riley what he needs to know from this math course. And if I find out that you are mistreating my foster-son in any way, you can bet your ass that we will continue this conversation with the principal and superintendent present. Maybe even a lawyer from the HRC.”

Riley hears the people in the hallway continue to talk about what they’re witnessing, but he can’t take his eyes off his teacher who looks like she’s been slapped across the face.

“Well I never! I don’t appreciate your tone -”

“And I don’t appreciate your bigotry,” Barry practically yells. He turns and marches out of the classroom, and Riley almost has to jog to catch up.

Barry stops a few feet out of the classroom and turns around to find Riley. It looks like he’s about to say something, but then looks over Riley’s head. As Riley turns around to see what distracted his foster-dad, Barry steps up beside him and casually puts his arm in front of Riley’s chest and gently pushes him back and away from the approaching man.

“Hey, you're Riley’s foster-dad, right?” The man stops in front of Barry and lifts his arm to shake hands, but Barry just crosses his arms across his chest. Riley’s never witnessed Barry behave like this: angry and loud and antagonistic. Usually his foster-dad is calm and understanding and extremely patient, so this version of the adult Riley thought he knew is somewhat scary.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know you. Is your child friends with Riley?”

Riley snorts, and the stranger glances at him before he returns his attention to Barry.

“Uh, my son has a few classes with him. I just wanted to say hang in there. I know parenting can be tough, especially if you’re new to it and starting off with a teenager. Teens are crazy, right?” The man offers an awkward laugh that morphs into a cough as he receives no encouragement from Barry.

Riley thinks he and Barry are finally going to leave as his foster-dad starts to turn back around, but the stranger continues to talk. Riley is nervous to see what happens next as he watches Barry roll his eyes and slowly face the other man.

“Dad to dad, I can’t tell you it gets easier, but you’ll get better at parenting with a firm hand. Remember that kids need to know who’s in charge, and the teachers are just doing their job. It’s not fair to blame them when kids don’t do what they’re told.”

“Okay, man I don’t know who doesn’t know me or my kid…” Barry’s voice is dripping with sarcasm and resentment. “How about next time you save your advice for someone who actually requests it? And that bullshit about parenting with a firm hand, I’m pretty sure that method was debunked years ago. Maybe read a book. My favorites are _Parenting with Love and Logic_ and _The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People_. Then at least your unsolicited advice to strangers would be beneficial.”

Riley feels Barry’s hand on his back as they make their way down the hall and away from everyone who enjoyed the fireworks of the last five minutes in the math wing. No one else stops them on their way out of the building and Barry doesn’t speak the entire way to the bus stop.

The temperature dropped since they arrived at the school; it feels like a storm is moving in quickly. Riley glances up at the sky to confirm his prediction and hopes they make it home before it starts to rain.

They wait for about ten minutes for the next bus. Riley begins to feel uneasy the longer Barry remains silent. He watches his foster-dad clench and unclench his fists as he shifts his weight from foot to foot. It seems like the man is struggling to stay still. Riley wants to calm Barry down, but he doesn’t know how to do that. He reaches out a few times, but decides against touching the aggravated adult.

“Barry?”

The older man drops his head and pinches the bridge of his nose with one hand. “I really need to run right now, but we’re too far away from home,” Barry grits out. He still doesn’t look at Riley as he says, “I need you to wait until we get home to talk about this.”

“O-okay,” Riley whispers.

 

Riley is a mess by the time they walk into the apartment thirty minutes later. Barry hasn’t talked or looked at him the entire trip, and Riley feels as if his world is collapsing in around him. While they were at the high school, Riley thought Barry argued with the other adults because he wanted to defend Riley. Now, he realizes Barry was probably just upset that Riley embarrassed him.

_This is it_ , Riley thinks as he tries to brace himself for the fallout. _He’s finally had enough of me. Barry realized tonight that I’m more trouble than I’m worth._

Barry walks into the living room but doesn’t sit down; instead, he paces back and forth along the wall with the glass door to the outside deck. Riley closes the main door and locks it before taking a few steps inside. He’s not sure what to do, or what to expect from Barry, which makes him feel more and more anxious. He’s been sweating for the last ten minutes, his heartbeat is quicker than normal, and his chest feels really tight, making it difficult to breathe.

“Have a seat, Riley.” Barry doesn’t stop pacing as Riley obeys his command.

Riley sits on the edge of the oversized chair, back ramrod straight and eyes on the coffee table in front of him. He thinks briefly about how similar his position is to the first day he met Barry. His eyes start to sting and his vision blurs as he realizes this is probably the last night he’ll sleep here, unless Judy needs more than a day to get him placed back into a group home.

_I knew this was too good to be true_. Riley’s chest tightens even more and he feels dizzy as he tries to clear his head, but the negative thoughts keep swirling and taunting him as he tries to maintain his composure. _No one ever wants to keep me. If someone like Barry can’t put up with me, there’s no one out there who can. I’m never going to have a family again. No one loves me. And now I won’t get to see Cisco or Lisa or Iris or Eddie -_ ”

“RILEY!”

Riley slowly lifts his head, which feels heavier than normal, and sees the blurry outline of Barry kneeling in front of him. _When did he move over here?_

“Breathe, Riley. Take a deep breath.” Barry’s voice sounds far away, but Riley can feel his hands on his face. Riley tries to ask him what he means, but then realizes he can’t catch his breath. He starts to panic and gasp for air as he grabs onto Barry’s wrists.

The older man takes one of Riley’s hands and places it on Barry’s chest. “Breathe with me,” he orders Riley as he takes an exaggerated inhale. Barry’s other hand grabs onto Riley’s shoulder as he exhales. Riley keeps squeezing that wrist as he shudders our short, staccato breaths.

“You’re okay. Take a deep breath. In… and slowly let it out…” Barry’s voice is slow and calm, but it does nothing to alleviate Riley’s fear.

“I-I-I… ca-n-‘t… I-I-I…”

“Shhh. You’re okay. Just breathe. In… and out…. Watch my chest. Breath with me. In…. Out….”

“It… h-h-u-r-t-s,” Riley somehow manages to say.

“I know. I know it hurts. But you have to slow down and breathe. You’re okay. Take your time. Just breathe.”

Riley doesn’t know how much time passes while he works on matching his breathing to Barry’s, but eventually he succeeds in breathing normally. He keeps staring at his hand on Barry’s chest even as the older man uses his two hands to wipe the tears from Riley’s face. For some reason, Riley can’t remove his hand. He needs the grounding Barry provides by being close enough to touch; as soon as Barry moves, Riley fears the man will disappear forever.

As Barry starts to stand up, Riley grips his shirt with both hands before he realizes what he’s done and lets go as if he was electrocuted.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to apologize,” Barry says soothingly.

_Was I apologizing?_ Riley wonders.

“I’m just going to get you some water. I’ll be right back. I promise.”

Riley opens his eyes when he feels a hand on his cheek. He leans into the hand as he hears, “Come on, buddy. Take a few sips and then we can go to bed.”

His eyes feel heavy and swollen as Riley looks up to find Barry standing in front of him holding out a glass of water. Riley struggles to think coherently, so he simply does as he’s told. The glass feels like it’s five pounds, so he rests in on his leg in between each sip. The water is freezing as it goes down his throat.

“Take one more big drink for me,” Riley hears. It’s dark again, but he doesn’t remember Barry turning off the lights. “Come on, just one more Ry.”

“Oh.” Riley realizes it was dark because his eyes were closed. With them open, he watches in slow motion as Barry helps him lift the glass up to his mouth to drink more water. When he’s finished, Barry takes the glass from him and sets it on the coffee table.

“Let’s go to sleep, okay?” Barry takes Riley’s hands and pulls him up off the chair so that he’s standing chest to chest with his foster-dad. He feels like he should be sad, but Riley can’t remember why.

Riley lets Barry lead him into his bedroom with one arm around his shoulders and the other still holding onto one hand. When they get in the room, Barry leads him to sit on the side of the bed. Riley can’t keep his eyes open any more, and he vaguely feels Barry take off his shoes and lift his shirt over his head. He allows himself to lay down on his bed when Barry pushes on his shoulders. He thinks the older man is speaking to him, but Riley can’t make out the words. He knows Barry got his pants off when he feels cool air on his calves before his warm comforter is pulled up over him and tucked into his sides. Riley thinks he feels the bed dip next to him, but he can’t find it in him to care as he submits to the darkness of unconsciousness.

 

When Riley opens his eyes, it’s dark in his room. He doesn’t remember how he got into his bed last night. He reaches for his phone on his nightstand, but it isn’t there. As he sits up, he notices there’s someone else in bed with him. Startled, he quickly turns on the lamp to see Barry waking up next to him. The man is still in his clothes and laying on top of the covers.

“Hey.” Barry’s voice sounds rough from sleep. “How are you feeling?”

“Uh… confused? Why are you sleeping in here?”

Barry sits up and looks concerned. “I didn’t want you to wake up alone… do you remember what happened?”

Riley thinks for a moment and recalls Barry yelling at his teacher and that man at school. Then everything hits him all at once and he starts to panic again.

“Hey, hey, hey. You’re okay. Slow down.” Barry places one hand on Riley’s shoulder. Thankfully, Riley is able to slow his breathing before he freaks out again. Before he can think of anything to say, Barry surprises Riley with an apology.

“Riley… I’m so incredibly sorry for scaring you tonight,” the older man whispers. “I can’t believe I lost my temper like that in front of you… I haven’t acted like that in a really long time, and I am so sorry.”

“What?” Riley can’t figure out what Barry means. He knows Barry is referring to the arguments, but he doesn’t understand why Barry is apologizing.

“I know that I should have handled those situations better, and I wish I could go back and do it over again so that I didn’t yell and frighten you. I am so embarrassed that I yelled like that and caused you to have a panic attack and I -”

“Wait,” Riley interrupts, shocked that Barry is saying this. “You think that I freaked out because you yelled to defend me at school?”

“Yes…?” Barry tilts his head as he studies Riley. “Isn’t that what happened? I scared you… from all the yelling… and now… shit!”

Riley flinches as Barry jumps out of bed and stands by the doorway. He’s so confused by his foster-dad’s behavior in the last five minutes that he doesn’t know where to begin to figure things out.

“God, I’m messing everything up!” Barry says, but Riley thinks he’s mostly talking to himself. “I should call Iris, have her come over to stay with you. What time is it?” Barry grabs his phone out of pocket and rubs his face in frustration.

“Barry?” The man looks over to Riley with a sad expression on his face. “You’re kind of freaking me out right now.”

“I know. I’m going to call Iris to -”

“No. I mean… will you come sit back down? You’re making me nervous standing over there.”

“Oh. Okay…” Barry looks hesitant but does as he’s asked. Riley takes a deep breath after Barry sits at the end of the bed, willing himself to say what he needs to in order to clear up Barry’s confusion. He hates seeing Barry like this, especially when it’s all Riley’s fault.

“I didn’t… have a panic attack… because I’m afraid of you.”

“You didn’t?” Barry sounds surprised and skeptical. Riley takes another deep breath, trying to be brave and honest, even though it’s painful.

“No. I panicked because…” Riley can’t seem to say what Barry needs to hear and is oblivious to. Tears fall down Riley’s face and the teen is annoyed that he’s breaking down all over again.

“Hey.” Barry scoots closer to Riley. The older man hesitates before placing his hand on Riley’s knee. “I’m so sorry, Riley. I never meant to… to hurt you,” Barry whispers.

“No!” Riley looks up at his foster-dad and sees tears falling down Barry’s face as well. _I’m really fucking this up_ , he chastises as he steadies himself to just say it and get it over with. “I don’t want to leave. That’s why I freaked out, okay? I know I fucked everything up again, and it’s impossible to love me, and it’s all my fault that everyone leaves. But it was awesome when you yelled at Mrs. Schmidt and that guy. No one’s ever defended me before. No one’s ever yelled for me. No one’s ever cared. And you did, and now you don’t want me anymore. And I started to think about Cisco and Lisa and everyone else who’s going to leave and it sucks and it hurts and I…”

Riley can’t say any more as the tears overpower him and he starts sobbing. He hides his face in hands as he cries, repeating, “I’m sorry,” over and over again. He can’t look at Barry and he doesn’t want to think about leaving tomorrow and he wishes he didn’t feel as much as he does in this moment. Before he can try to regain some composure, he feels strong arms wrap around him, causing him to cry even harder.

“Oh, buddy. I don’t want you to leave. You never have to leave if you don’t want to,” Barry says into Riley’s hair as he holds the teen. Riley removes his hands from his face and throws them around Barry, pulling his foster-dad closer and gripping the man’s shirt so he can’t escape.

They hold onto each other until no more tears fall from Riley’s eyes and his throat is too raw to make any more noise. They stay like that long after Riley finishes crying, the only difference being one of Barry’s hands keeps moving over Riley’s head and back, smoothing his hair and rubbing soothing circles into his skin. Riley sniffles and it takes a few tries before he can speak again.

“Did you mean what you said?”

“Yes.”

“I can stay here? With you?”

“Of course.”

“Forever?”

Barry tries to pull away, but Riley latches onto him tighter so he can’t move. This has been one of the worst nights he’s had in a long time, but if it results in Barry telling him he wants him, it’ll be totally worth the emotional rollercoaster Riley's been on.

“I don’t know the details of your dad’s situation or the legal standing with his guardianship over you,” Barry slowly explains. Riley holds his breath hoping there’s a “but” in this explanation.

“But,” Barry continues, “I do want you to stay with me forever. And I will fight for you, if that’s what you want.”

Riley nods his head vigorously and barely breathes out an audible “please.” He hopes it doesn’t sound as desperate as he feels.

A little while later Riley unwinds from his death grip on Barry’s clothes and allows them to separate. He’s exhausted, but Riley isn’t sure he wants to sleep.

“Will you stay? Tonight?”

Riley hears the smile in Barry’s voice when he responds with a simple, “Sure.”

Riley turns off the lamp as they both lay back down, Riley under the covers and Barry on top of them. They both lay on their backs and let silence take over for a while. Riley thinks Barry fell asleep until the older man quietly asks a question.

“Is that why you didn’t do the English projects? They were all about your family and your past…. Did you not want to talk about them?”

Riley considers Barry’s question before answering truthfully. “If they really loved me, they’d be here and I’d be with them instead of you.”

Barry takes a deep breath and waits a few moments before speaking quietly again.

“I’m positive your mom loved you very much and didn’t want to leave you. If she could've changed her situation so she never got sick… I know that she wanted more time with you.”

“How do you know?” Riley chokes out.

“Because I want more time with you.”

Barry finds Riley’s hand in the dark and squeezes it tightly. He loosens his grip but doesn’t let go, for which Riley is thankful. He likes the physical reminder that he isn’t alone.

“And your dad…” Barry continues to whisper. “He made mistakes. And those mistakes have definitely affected you, but they’re not because of you…. His decisions, his actions, the situation you’re in now, that’s all on him and he’s going to have to get right with that. _You_ don’t have anything to feel bad about. _You_ have nothing to be ashamed about. Okay?”

All Riley can do is nod his head. This is the most he’s ever talked about his parents since everything happened, and he’s exhausted. He feels raw and heavy and sad and empty all at the same time.

“Your family is your family, and it’s okay to love your family even when they make mistakes and hurt you. You can still love them AND know that you don’t deserve any of the pain or any of the hurt they’ve caused you. You don’t have to hide where you’re from.”

“But what if I want to hide?” Riley asks the question he’s been too afraid to voice. “What if I hate them? They didn’t want me, so why would I want them?”

“You can feel that way, too. However you feel is okay.”

Riley doesn’t respond for a few minutes, trying to take in everything that’s been said tonight. Barry breaks the silence again, apparently unable to let the conversation end.

“You can be mad at them for however long you need to be. And at some point, I hope that you’ll be able to let your anger go, so that feeling of hate doesn’t stay inside you. I hope that you’ll be able to be strong enough to let go and know that even though really terrible things have happened to you, they don’t have to define you. That doesn’t have to be your future.”

Riley tries to think about his future with Barry for the first time. His head hurts from all the crying and feelings, but he thinks his future might be okay after all. He doesn’t want to talk about this anymore, and he tries not to think about how awkward everything will be tomorrow. After a few minutes, he remembers something his foster-dad said at school.

“Hey, Barry?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you really read two parenting books?”

Barry huffs out a laugh before answering, “I actually read five. I have a sixth one on my night stand right now.”

Riley snorts and can’t suppress a giggle. “Damn,” the teen laughs. “You are such a nerd.” He smiles as he hears his foster-dad chuckle next to him.

“Goodnight, Riley.”

“Goodnight, Barry.”

 

Both men wake up the next morning still holding onto the other’s hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know that opening scene in Aladdin when Jafar looks pissed up on his horse and says, "You're late" and then the thief says, "A thousand apologies, oh patient one"? I keep imagining all of you wonderful people who have read and left kudos or commented or subscribed to my story as Jafar, and then I picture me, down in the dirt apologizing a thousand times, begging you all to forgive me for being so late...
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this chapter and being patient as it took a month for me to post! There are so many reasons I could give you for why it took me so long to post, but the important thing I want you all to know is I will NOT abandon this story, I still have a solid outline for at least ten more chapters, and I appreciate all of you who take time to read my story and you few brave souls who leave me comments that touch my heart and make me smile.
> 
> This chapter got into some feelings for our main guys, and the next chapter picks up the next day with some more feels and some Snarts and some behind the scenes violence. I start a family vacation this Saturday, so I hope to post the next chapter before then, but if not, I promise to post within a week (yes, I promise!).
> 
> As always, your thoughts are welcome here. Thank you again for being such amazing readers!


	11. Scars

_“You made it weird, didn’t you?”_

“Maybe?” Barry thinks over everything he shared with Iris about his morning with Riley after their emotional night.

 

They both woke up to Riley’s phone alarm going off for the teen to get ready for school. His phone was in his pants’ pocket, which were on the floor. Riley turned off his alarm and grumbled something incoherent before making his way to the bathroom. When Barry heard the shower turn on, he figured he should get cleaned up and changed for work.

When Riley joined Barry in the kitchen and grabbed some breakfast, the kid looked awful. His face was pale, eyes red from crying, and the dark circles that never completely disappear from his sleepless nights were more prominent. Barry told Riley he could stay home from school today, get some rest, especially since it was Friday and a half day anyway.

“I’m not going to sleep, so I might as well go and not have work to make up,” the teen rationalized. “Besides, I have math today.”

“Do you think she’s going to be mean to you after what I said last night?” Barry was worried that he made his foster-kid’s tough situation with Mrs. Schmidt worse by letting his mouth get away from him last night.

“You threatened her with a lawsuit, Barry. I’m pretty sure she’s going to kiss my ass or ignore me. I’m excited to see which one she chooses.”

Riley’s smirk didn’t ease Barry’s worry.

“Well, just… let me know if something happens, okay? I’ll email your counselor to ask about tutoring options.”

Barry wasn’t sure how to address last night’s revelations. He awkwardly hovered by the counter as Riley rinsed his dishes and put them in the dishwasher. It was obvious the teen wasn’t going to bring it up.

“So, uh, about last night…”

Riley slammed the dishwasher drawer harder than necessary. He crossed his arms and kept looking at the sink instead of facing Barry.

“Is there anything you want to talk about?” The older man tried to ask in a soothing, non-judgmental tone. Now that they didn’t have the cover of darkness or emotional buildup, talking about feelings felt forced.

“No.”

“Are you sure?” At Riley’s pointed look, Barry quickly tried to retract the phrase that seems to annoy his foster-kid the most. “I mean, if you want to talk about anything, we can. Just… let me know?”

“Fine.”

As Riley picked up his bookbag and made his way to the door, Barry followed him, still feeling uneasy about how they were leaving things unsaid this morning.

“I’ll see you at work when you get done with school. If you don’t want to eat there, feel free to pick up something on your way over, okay?”

Riley gave a quick nod, acknowledging he heard, but not giving Barry any indication as to his intent. As Barry leaned forward to hug Riley, he realized he’d never tried to hug the kid goodbye, or ever, except for last night. Caught in his indecision, Barry changed his hug motion to a pat on the shoulder at the last minute.

“H-have a good day,” he offered weakly, patting Riley as he continued to move out the door and disappear down the steps without a backward glance.

 

The silence on the phone lasted longer than normal for Iris, so Barry checks to make sure he didn’t lose the call. She is still there, and he keeps packing around the tables in the dinner area of Saints and Sinners. There is no one in at the moment, which is why he decided to call Iris to tell her what he did and ask for advice about what to do next.

_“I don’t think you should read too much into it, Barr.”_

“Really?”

_“Riley doesn’t like to talk things to death like you do. I’m impressed he said as much as he did last night. That’s strange behavior for him, not ignoring you this morning.”_

When Barry thinks about it that way, Iris makes a lot of sense. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

_“Of course I am!”_ Barry hears her grin even if he can’t see it through the phone. _“I think you should focus on the fact that Riley wants to live with you long-term, and try to keep treating him how you always have, which is what made him feel that way.”_

“Yeah, I’ll have to ask Judy about his dad to figure out what’s going on with that. Thanks, Iris.”

_“Anytime, Barr. And next time you go to your kid’s school, how about you try not to antagonize everyone? It’s like you can’t help but start fights whenever you’re in that building.”_

“Hey! It’s not like I go looking for fights. And technically it was an argument since it was only verbal.”

_“Thank goodness! You’re still not good at fighting. So, don’t pick one without me there to save your tiny ass.”_

Iris’ teasing puts a smile on Barry’s face. He takes a deep breath after hanging up the phone and enjoys the feeling of relief after a normal conversation with his best friend helped him gain perspective. He heads back to the bar to do inventory feeling lighter and taller thinking about forever with Riley.

 

The day passes slowly for Barry when there aren’t many customers and there’s no housekeeping to do. He looks up expectantly around one when the door opens, but he sees Mick stroll in instead of Riley. Kid must’ve decided to pick up lunch somewhere after school, Barry surmises.

“Hey, Mick.”

“Bean pole.” Mick nods as he greets Barry using the nickname he’s had since Barry started working at Saints and Sinners when he was a scrawny teenager. “The boss in yet?”

Barry shakes his head and says, “Nope.” Mick’s stride doesn’t slow as he makes his way into the kitchen. Lisa and her brother must have plans to talk “business,” although Barry can’t imagine why the small bar would need two or three business meetings a week. Because they’re not talking about that business, Barry’s brain supplies. He shakes his head, trying to prevent any thoughts about illegal activities the three Rogues are privy to. Barry likes being able to honestly say he knows nothing about what the three of them discuss, not that anyone’s asked.

Ten minutes later, Barry smells the alluring aromas of whatever Mick is cooking. Barry considers asking the man to grill up a burger for him since Riley probably ate lunch without him, but the door opens again, and a distraction walks through the door.

Followed closely by his foster-kid.

“Hey, Riley…” Barry offers tentatively, sensing something isn’t right with how the teen carries himself, almost as if he’s hiding behind Snart.

“Scarlet,” the distracting man with a coy drawl and hypnotizing eyes says as they walk by. “I’ll be right back. Wait here.”

“Uh… yeah. Sure. Is… everything alright?” Barry tries to gauge Riley’s reaction, but he can’t see the kid very well with the taller man between them.

“Peachy.”

Barry fidgets, not sure if he should ignore the request and follow after his ward and demand answers to the strange behavior of the two guys who, as far as Barry knows, have never had a conversation past their first encounter, but now seem to be headed off together for reasons Barry can’t fathom. He starts to worry when he hears the siren voice call out, “Mick. I need your opinion.”

As soon as his patience wanes, which is after he counts to 200, Barry makes his way toward the hallway where Riley disappeared. When he turns into the hallway, he sees Snart close the door to Lisa’s office and walk in his direction. Barry stops and waits for the gorgeous man to approach and explain what’s happening.

“The kid’s going to be fine, but he’s a little shook up, so -”

“What happened? Why is he shook up?” Barry is instantly frantic with concern and the need to see Riley. He moves to step around Snart, but the man moves with him to block his way.

“You need to calm down, Scarlet.” Barry refocuses on the man in front of him who has his hands up, as if trying to reason with a scared child.

“I am calm!” Barry cringes as he hears how not calm his response was. He takes a deep breath to make his statement true.

“It took me a little while to convince him to come inside. Kid’s worried about how you’ll react, so you need to take a breath.”

This information doesn’t lesson Barry’s worry. He needs to know what happened so he can help his foster-kid. The Rogue must see Barry’s determination, because he lets out a long sigh and slowly steps aside.

As he reaches to open the door to Lisa’s office, Barry lets out a grounding exhale and tries to slow down his thinking and his motions so that he doesn’t barge in and scare Riley. He remembers to announce his entrance, not wanting to sneak up on the kid.

“Riley, it’s me.”

Barry slowly enters the room and Snart closes the door behind them. The older man steps off to the side and leans against the wall as Barry makes his way over to the chair where Riley is sitting. The teen’s head is thrown back and his hand is covering half his face, not giving Barry a good look at his foster-kid since the chair is facing away from the door. Mick is standing with his arms crossed, an angry expression on his face, standing just a few feet away from Riley. He shakes his head at Snart, offering a silent explanation Barry doesn’t understand.

“Ry?” Barry tries again to get a response as he approaches. “What’s going on, buddy?” Barry decides to sit in the chair next to Riley, not wanting to appear confrontational standing over the kid. After Barry sits and leans closer to Riley, the teen lifts his head, sits up straighter, and drops his hand, which is holding an icepack.

“You should see the other guy?” Riley offers as he turns to face Barry. He tries to smile, but his face morphs into a grimace as he hisses in pain and slouches sideways, putting the icepack back on the left side of his face.

A few seconds was all Barry needed to take in the extent of the damage that was inflicted onto his ward. Riley’s left eye is swollen shut, puffy and bruising. There’s remnants of dried blood speckled around his nose and lips. He has a cut going through his bottom lip and across his eyebrow. The teen’s clothes are dirty, his jeans are torn across the knees, and his pants have more blood stains than Barry thinks he can stomach.

“What… how…” Barry is overwhelmed with feelings of fear, anger, helplessness, confusion, and protectiveness. His hands roam over Riley but don’t make contact, not wanting to add to his physical pain. The kid is leaning to the right, and Barry wonders what damage he’ll find underneath the tarnished clothes. “Are you okay?”

No one comments on how Barry’s voice breaks at the end of his question. Riley refuses to make eye contact or respond, and Barry is surprised by the gravelly voice that answers.

“Mostly superficial wounds. Eye should be fine after swelling goes down. Broken nose. Bruised ribs. Sprained wrist. Cuts on the face will scar, but not bad if you stitch ‘em up.”

Barry’s eyes continue to widen at Mick’s assessment, trying to catalogue all the physical evidence on Riley. He doesn’t ask how the cook became skilled in medical examinations, not really wanting to know the truth. Barry’s throat is dry, and he has to swallow a few times before he can speak again.

“Who did this to you?” Barry is proud of himself for not letting the tears fall that are starting to cloud his vision.

Riley shrugs, which causes another wince and for him to cradle his side.

“Couple kids from school,” Riley whispers, all pretense of nonchalance gone.

“Give me names, pipsqueak. I’ll take care of ‘em,” Mick grumbles.

“Mick,” Snart drawls out. “You can’t beat up or torture children. Society frowns on that, and I don’t have time to break you out of jail again.”

Barry ignores everything that’s wrong with that response and tries again with Riley.

“How did this happen?”

Riley hesitates, shifting around in his seat and still refusing to make eye contact. Barry hates the silence, but knows he needs to let Riley speak when he’s ready; reliving moments like this is always painful.

“They followed me. To the bus stop.” Riley’s voice is soft and shaky, probably fighting back his own tears.

“Okay…” Barry is anxious for more details, not knowing how to help Riley and not liking not having all the information. “And? Anything else you want to share?”

Riley quickly glances at the three men in the office with him, then turns his head away, lips pursed. Barry decides he’ll push for more later, after he takes Riley to get his injuries treated.

“Okay, buddy. That’s fine. We can talk more after we get done at the hospital and you’re feeling better.” Barry stands to leave, but is frozen only a foot from the chair at the panicked cry from the teen.

“What?! I don’t need to go to the hospital!”

“Uh…” Barry’s eyebrows furrow, not expecting that reaction. “You have some serious injuries, Riley. We need to get you cleaned and stitched up so that you can heal properly.”

“NO!”

Barry backs up as Riley jumps out of his chair and moves toward the wall furthest from the door. He looks to Mick and Len for help, but the former has the same scowl and angry stance he always has around people, and the latter is leaning against the wall and picking at his cuticles.

“I… Riley…” Barry’s heart aches as he watches his foster-kid try to make himself smaller, hugging himself but wincing from his pain. Barry realizes his mention of a hospital was the catalyst for Riley’s current behavior, so he backtracks, just wanting the teen to calm down.

“Alright, Riley. It’s okay. We don’t have to go to a hospital.” Barry quickly thinks about where he can take his ward to get help that isn’t a hospital. He draws a blank.

Riley looks skeptically at Barry. “Promise me,” the kid demands.

Barry lets out a long sigh, knowing he won’t win this one, and still uneasy about how to get Riley the help he needs.

“Fine. I promise. No hospitals.” Riley deflates his defensive posture, but doesn’t move.

“You know a doc?” Mick asks, reminding Barry that there are two other people in the room.

Barry huffs and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, but he’s sitting in Iron Heights.” He feels three sets of eyes on him, but shakes them off, knowing it won’t help to dwell on even more things he can’t control. “I think Cisco works with a doctor….”

The door to the office opens and closes as Barry sends a text to Cisco. A feminine voice draws the attention of all three men immediately.

“Did you decide to make this meeting an extended family affair, Lenny?” She throws her coat onto her chair and takes in the scene in her office as her brother responds.

“We had a bit of a situation, Lise. Haven’t started on business yet.”

“Oh, honey,” Lisa coos as she makes her way over to Riley. The kid doesn’t flinch, but he tenses slightly as she touches his face, moving it around so she can examine him properly. Mick gives her his assessment, to which she simply nods and directs Riley to sit down in a chair.

“I’m sorry Lisa,” Barry says to his boss. “Obviously, I’m going to need to take off as soon as I figure out where I can take Riley to get some stitches. He doesn’t want a hospital.”

Lisa studies Riley for a few moments and then turns to Barry. “I can take care of that for you, if you want. I have everything I need here.” She says it so matter-of-factly that Barry isn’t sure how to respond.

“I… I don’t know, Lisa.” Barry runs his hands together as he tries to decide what to do. Luckily, Riley makes the decision for him.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Barry walks over and kneels in front of Riley. The kid looks at him with his one good eye before offering his confirmation.

“Lisa can do it here,” the teen whispers.

“Are you sure?” Barry asks, squeezing the tops of Riley’s thighs, thankfully not causing him any additional pain. Riley nods his head.

Barry stands and approaches Lisa, worried about what’s going to happen. She must see his nerves clearly because she softens her voice and puts a hand on his shoulder.

“It’ll be alright. I’ve done this plenty of times before, and I’ll make sure it’s a small scar. He won’t be in any more pain than he already is.” She squeezes his shoulder before she moves behind her desk and gets into her filing cabinet. She pulls out a tackle box and some rags. Mick is the first to react.

“I’ma finish lunch,” is all the burly man offers before leaving the room.

“You boys can go, too,” Lisa says, motioning to Barry and Snart. “We don’t need an audience, and there’s a customer that came in right before me. Probably needs a refill on the beer I got him.”

“I can stay,” Barry starts, not wanting to leave his foster-kid alone right now. The pointed look from his boss and the reply from Riley change his plans, however.

“You can go, Barry. I’ll be fine.”

He doesn’t sound fine, but a look from Lisa reminds Barry that the kid is in good hands with a woman who has already proven she will protect the teen as if he were family, which everyone knows means everything to the Snarts.

“O-okay. But, I’ll just be at the bar… if you change your mind.”

“I’ve got this, Barry. We’ll be done soon.” Lisa turns her back on the men and starts taking supplies out of the tackle box and placing them on her desk.

“Come on, Scarlet,” Snart says as he pushes off the wall he was holding up and moves to open the door. He waits for Barry to exit the office. “I could use a drink. Something ice cold.”

Barry reluctantly walks away from Riley. He runs his hands through his hair as he makes his way down the hallway. When he gets to the end, he turns around and considers going back, but Snart is there to block him and keep him moving in the right direction.

“You were going to buy me a drink, remember?” The older man smirks and winks at Barry, but Barry’s too tired and scared for his foster-kid to handle the baseless flirting from the criminal today.

“Please, drop the act, Snart. At least for today. I can’t… deal with all of… that. Not right now.”

“Who said anything about an act?” Snart drawls out his words and a bit of irritation colors his question. “I don’t waste my time with pointless performances,” the older man snaps as he moves in front of Barry and continues to his normal seat.

Snart sits on his stool and waits patiently as Barry helps the only customer in the building. When the younger man makes it back behind the bar, he offers a drink and an apology.

“I’m sorry,” Barry starts, glancing up but not holding eye contact with the gorgeous man. “I didn’t mean to take my frustrations out on you. I’m just… really worried about Riley. And I have no idea what I should be doing. Which makes me even more frustrated.”

“You can work it out on me anytime.”

Barry glares at the older man and his attempt at humor. Thankfully, the Rogue takes a drink and changes tactics. “The kid knows you care about him and want to help. What more do you think you should be doing?”

Barry ponders that question while he waits for his foster-kid.

 

Thirty minutes later Lisa and Riley walk into the bar and head in opposite directions: Lisa toward Barry and Riley to his booth. Before the teen sits down, Mick walks into the room carrying a tray full of food and heads straight for Riley. Snart stands, grabs his drink, and heads over to the booth without a word.

“How are you holding up, handsome?”

Barry looks away from the men across the room and focuses on Lisa. The woman smiles tentatively with genuine concern shining through her eyes. Barry lets out an exaggerated sigh as his only answer.

“Did he say anything about what happened?” he asks hopefully.

Lisa leans sideways against the bar so her head faces Riley, but she can still speak quietly to Barry. “He didn’t share much with me, but Lenny might have better luck. My brother doesn’t interact with kids often, but he’s good with people.”

Barry watches Snart sit across from his foster-kid, both eating whatever food Mick prepared for them. The cook is nowhere to be seen, most likely back in the kitchen. Barry can’t tell if they’re talking to each other, but Riley appears comfortable sitting with the older man, so he decides to let them be.

“Your kid needs to learn how to defend himself,” Lisa says while continuing to watch Riley. “He’s too good in a shitty world.”

“Yeah, he is good, so he shouldn’t need to know how to protect himself. He should be fine.” Barry’s voice is high pitched and shaky. He isn’t sure if he was trying to convince his boss or himself of his foster-kid’s safety.

Lisa turns slowly to face Barry, stands up straight, and studies the man for a few moments. Barry is confused as she pulls the top of her shirt to the side, revealing her bare shoulder. Her skin is healthy and smooth, except for a thick, jagged scar that looks really old across her collarbone.

“I didn’t get this scar by being involved with criminals. I got it by being a daughter.” Lisa’s voice is meeker than Barry would ever expect possible. For the first time in all the years he’s known her, Lisa looks vulnerable. “The good ones still need to know how to protect themselves.”

The weight of Lisa’s confession is heavy on Barry’s heart. He doesn’t look at her with pity, but rather more understanding. He knows what it’s like to have a rough childhood, to have so much outside of your control that all you can focus on is surviving that day. The woman standing before him is strong, intelligent, fierce, loyal, and kind. He knows she and her family of Rogues are involved in less-than-legal activity, but she’s never given Barry any reason to fear her. She’s actually one of the few constants in Barry’s adult life that makes him feel safe and included.

Somehow, Lisa was raised in an abusive home, survived, and became a woman Barry is proud to know. He might even call her a friend. And Barry knows she’s right, even if he doesn’t want this to be Riley’s reality.

“How?” Barry clears his throat as Lisa repositions herself into her normal badass stance. “How did you learn?”

A rare, genuine smile graces the woman’s face. “Lenny.”

Both adults look over at the mentioned man, who is now obviously involved in a conversation with the teen. Barry feels warmth spread through him as he watches the kid he cares for deeply, and the man he has strong reactions to but can’t decipher what that means.

“Once Lenny realized he couldn’t prevent every bad thing from happening to me, he made sure I could stop anything I didn’t want to happen all on my own.”

Lisa and Barry sit in silence a little while longer, watching their family finish their conversation and their meals in the booth. When the guys appear finished, Lisa straightens up preparing to leave. Barry reaches out and grabs her forearm before she can escape.

“Thank you, Lisa. For everything you’ve done for us. I don’t know what would’ve happened if you weren’t here to help Riley today.”

Lisa leans up and over the counter to kiss Barry on the cheek. “Think nothing of it, honey. I take care of my family.” She stands back up and offers a coy smile before offering a final goodbye: “And my family looks out for those we care about.”

With a final wink, the warrior princess glides out of the room and back to her office, leaving Barry blushing.

Barry decides he and Riley have had enough for today, so he calls in sick to Cupid and tells Lisa he’s going home early. He sends a few more texts back and forth with Cisco and only suffers through one more conversation before he takes Riley home.

“I’m training him,” Snart bluntly proclaims. He doesn’t sit down this time as he approaches Barry across from the bar. “Kid already agreed. Do you have a problem with that?”

Barry had time to think about what Lisa said about her brother, so when the man offers his assistance, Barry only feels relief.

“What kind of lessons are you going to give him?”

“Not lessons,” Snart growls. “Training. And I’ll keep it basic: how to fire an assault rifle, aim throwing stars, and break into homes without alarms going off.”

The younger man rolls his eyes, begging, “Why?” The only response he gets is a pointed stare. “So, what will I owe you?” Barry continues. “Captain Cold isn’t someone who offers help without asking for something in return.”

He isn’t certain, but Barry thinks he sees Snart’s face harden at Barry’s teasing yet serious question before the older man responds. “You’re right. First rule of business: always protect yourself.”

“So, what kind of business deal is this?”

“Purely a selfish one. I’m doing this for me.”

Snart isn’t giving Barry answers that set boundaries for what to expect with the man’s offer of help. He doesn’t know why, but Barry starts to heat up, palms sweating and face reddening. _It’s like an automatic response to any conversation with the man lasting more than two minutes_ , Barry admonishes.

The older man holds Barry’s focus, never looking away or lessening the intensity of his gaze. Barry swallows and tries to get a more specific answer.

“What is it you want that I could possibly get you?” he whispers. Snart tilts his head and waits a few moments before responding.

“Let me think about it.”

Barry rolls his eyes and moves from behind the bar. He calls to Riley that he’s ready to go and makes his way over to the exit. Snart hasn’t moved, so he’s right in front of Barry after the younger man takes a few steps.

“Give me your phone,” the Rogue demands. Barry does so immediately. Only after he hands over his device does he think he should have questioned the man’s motives first. Riley catches up to where the men are standing and waits silently. The kid looks exhausted; Barry is glad he is going to stay home with Riley for the rest of the night, even if the teen will probably sleep the entire time. Hopefully he’ll get some rest and start to feel better.

Snart hands Barry his phone and turns to Riley. “I’ll see you Sunday.”

Riley nods, then the older man walks away without a second glance. Barry feels slightly affronted that he wasn’t given a goodbye. He looks down at his phone to see if he can tell what Snart did to it. When he unlocks the screen, a new text is open.

The contact is a new name that Barry never put into his phone.

The message to Len simply reads “Scarlet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to post this last night, but woke up and realized I hadn't. I quickly fixed that this morning, but didn't double check my editing; I'll go back and fix things sometime next week if there are issues.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


	12. Checkups

“You guys can pick the movie,” Barry calls over his shoulder as he leaves the kitchen and heads to his bedroom. “I’m going to change and wash up. You don’t have to wait for me.”

Barry quietly closes his bedroom door, hands shaking as he tries to control his breathing. While he was putting the dinner away that Iris brought over when she got off work, Barry felt his heart rate increase and his breathing become staccato. His adrenaline finally started to wear off as he sat down to eat, and he didn’t want to lose control in front of Riley, who seemed sluggish after his nap but still hyper-vigilant of his surroundings. It was almost like watching the kid’s reactions from the first weekend they spent together: nonverbal, skeptical observations, aloof.

Not wanting to be heard, Barry turns on his shower and closes his bathroom door. He steps under the scalding water and tries to focus on the burning of his skin rather than his overwhelming emotions. His tears mix with the water and the steam opens his breathing, so in hardly any time, Barry is sobbing. He covers his mouth to try to muffle the sounds, but lets his body shake and release the pent-up emotions from the last few hours.

 

When they left Saints and Sinners after Riley was stitched up and ate some food, Barry thought about calling an Uber, but realized strangers were less likely to ask questions on a bus than a driver who wanted a good review. Since then, Barry was in overdrive trying to think and work fast enough to anticipate all of his foster-kid’s needs after the beating he took at school.

Riley was mute on the way home, making Barry more fidgety, but that made sense with stitches running along his lip. He was thankful Riley kept his eyes closed during the bus ride because it allowed Barry time to really look at the damage that was done to the teen; every time he looked over the bruising, the dried blood, the stitches, Barry felt simultaneously nauseous, infuriated, and helpless.

Apparently, Lisa gave Riley Vicodin before using a needle on his face, so by the time they made it up the stairs into the apartment, the teen was practically sleep walking. Riley was so exhausted, he didn’t even argue when Barry helped relieve him of his bloodied clothes. Removing the long-sleeve shirt proved problematic since every movement made Riley wince in pain, so Barry used scissors to cut the shirt away. He threw the soiled shirt and jeans into a plastic bag and tossed them into the dumpster immediately. When he returned, bringing Riley multiple baggies of ice for his injuries, the kid was already passed out on top of his covers.

Barry used his time alone in the apartment to stay productive, beginning with contacting two important women he felt needed to know what happened. He simply sent a text to Iris briefly explaining what happened and that Riley wouldn’t be up for going out for their usual Friday date night, which was why he wasn’t surprised when his friend let herself into the apartment with bags of carry-out food and made herself at home.

Anxiety built up in Barry’s chest as he dialed the number for the second woman he needed to contact.

“Barry! What a lovely surprise! What can I do for you, hon?”

“Hey, Judy,” Barry practically whispered as he tried to force himself to just rip the Band-Aid off and tell her the truth. “I need to report some injuries Riley sustained today.” He hoped Judy understood his quick ramble and wouldn’t ask him to repeat himself.

After a few seconds that felt like hours, Judy calmly and professionally replied, “I appreciate you calling me, Barry, but unless you’re about to report that you directly and purposefully caused those injuries, or that you placed him in an unsafe situation that resulted in his injuries, you don’t have to tell me what happened. Are you reporting that either of those things are true?”

“Of course not! I would never hurt Riley. That’s not what happened.”

“That’s what I figured, sweetie. In that case, you are not obligated to report anything. You don’t need to inform me when Riley gets hurt or sick, although I’m happy to help you if you feel uncertain about how to take care of him.”

“Oh. I thought… I wasn’t sure… maybe you would need to…” Barry stammered until Judy kindly interrupted him.

“Barry. Kids get sick. They get cuts and bruises. Sometimes bad ones. When that happens, it doesn’t mean that the parent is failing the child or doing something wrong. Life is messy for everyone, and while I never want harm to come to any child, unintentional or otherwise, that’s just part of growing up.”

Once again, Barry appreciated Judy’s ability to understand him and his fears even without being able to verbalize them clearly. Ever since Riley came to live with Barry, the older man was afraid that the teen would be forced to leave him. When Barry saw how hurt Riley was, the man worried that Judy would think Barry was unfit to care for and provide a safe home for the kid. Barry let out a huge sigh of relief as this fear was pushed aside, at least for now.

“Thank you, Judy.” Barry hoped the woman would be able to hear his sincerity since she couldn’t see him. “Just so you know, Riley was jumped by some kids at his school. He’s banged up pretty badly. I’m having a doctor friend look him over tomorrow since he refuses to go to a hospital.”

“I’m sorry to hear that happened. And I know you will help Riley heal however he needs. Honestly, I’m not surprised he refused to go to a hospital. From what I understand, hospitals are a trigger for his abandonment issues, most likely due to his mom deteriorating so quickly after being hospitalized and ultimately passing away there.”

“Oh,” Barry thought for a moment. “That makes sense, I suppose. I’ll remember that and see if we can come up with a plan for what he needs me to do to help him if he ever really needs to go to a hospital.”

“You’re a good man, Barry Allen.”

 

Barry is brought back to the present when the water turns ice cold. His breathing already calmed and he stopped crying a few minutes ago, so he puts on some comfy clothes to rejoin Iris and Riley in the living room. He doesn’t hear a movie playing, so he hurries to finish up in the bathroom in case they waited for him after all. When he sees his reflection in the mirror, he looks terrible. The guilt he feels hasn’t left his face, and his eyes are swollen and red now from all the crying. _I’ll just turn the lights off for the movie_ , Barry strategizes. _Iris will know, but hopefully Riley won’t notice._

Even though Riley hasn’t fully explained what happened, he has a gut feeling that the beating Riley took is Barry’s fault. He doesn’t know exactly how that would be possible, but the teen hasn’t had a single issue since starting school until the day after Barry attended conferences and caused a scene. Somehow, Barry knows the two events are related, even if the teen won’t explain how. Every time Barry looks at the cuts and bruises on his foster-kid’s body, a new wave of guilt overwhelms the man; when he thinks about the injuries that no one can see, Barry’s heart breaks a little more.

As Barry returns to the living room, he hears Iris explaining something, most likely details about her latest article. Riley is awake and seems to be focused on the soothing sound of her voice, but his body language is still sluggish. It seems like Iris is simply filling the space with her presence; once again, Barry is beyond thankful he has this wonderful woman in his life whose super power involves reassurance and security.

“Hey, Barr. Feeling better?” Iris’ voice maintains her dulcet tones as she addresses him. Riley moves his head slightly at the redirection, so Barry knows the kid is still somewhat present.

“Yeah.” He looks away from his friend’s knowing gaze, not wanting to lose his composure again. “Did you two decide on a movie?”

“No, we were just talking. Eating all that food made me tired. Can we turn off the lights and get comfy? I might fall asleep and don’t want to wake up because it’s too bright in here.”

At Iris’ prompting, Barry helps the woman get out extra blankets and pillows for the three of them. Since Riley claimed his chair but was having difficulty curling up like he normally would, Barry pushes the coffee table closer to the teen and leaves some blankets on top. He helps Riley prop he feet up on the blankets and get in the least painful position he can considering his injuries.

“Riley, have you ever watched Singing in the Rain?” Iris questions.

“No.” The teen’s voice is raspy, so Barry goes to refill his water. “But I see the poster for it everyday.”

Iris lets out a soft laugh. “Yeah, I made dad buy that for Barry’s birthday one year. He was obsessed with the musical, and I thought maybe if he could look at the poster, he wouldn’t feel the need to watch the movie on repeat.”

Barry appreciates Iris’ twist on this story, allowing him to decide how much to share with his foster-kid. He quickly makes his decision as he returns to living room, staring at the poster that means so much to him.

“My mom introduced me to musicals,” Barry explains quietly. “This one was her favorite. Any time I had a bad day… we’d snuggle together and sing the songs. It always made me feel better…”

Barry is pulled from his thoughts when Iris quotes, “Everything’s better in a musical.”

He turns his misty eyes to the woman and smiles a thank you he knows she’ll understand.

“I’ve never seen a musical,” Riley admits. Both adults look to the kid who seems to be more alert now.

“Nora would be thrilled to know that this is your introduction to the magical world of singing and dancing your blues away,” Iris proclaims. She leaves the couch to set up the DVD, knowing exactly where Barry always keeps it.

The older man hands the glass of water to Riley, who sits up a little to take a drink. There’s a brief moment when it feels like the teen wants to say something, but he changes his mind.

“Did Lisa give you any more pain killers?”

Riley starts to nod his head, then realizes that wasn’t a good choice, and responds with a “yeah.”

“How about you just take one more before you go to sleep? Tomorrow, I want to ask Dr. Snow how much you should be taking so we don’t make you sick, alright?”

“Okay.”

Barry moves around Iris and the coffee table to get to the couch. He leans over to pick up the blanket Iris dropped earlier when he hears a quiet, “Barry?”

He looks up into watery eyes and all he sees is innocence. He can tell the kid is struggling with something, but Barry isn’t sure what that something is. Without thinking, he leans over and brushes the hair away from his foster-kid’s eyes, careful to avoid the swelling and bruises. Barry’s hand lingers behind the teen’s ear for just a moment, giving a tiny squeeze of reassurance before pulling back.

“Yeah, buddy?” Barry whispers.

Riley blinks his eyes open, fighting his tears that no longer stay hidden. “I… it’s just… you…”

Barry waits patiently for the kid to process what he wants to say. He knows how tough it can be to form words through the emotions and confusion going on inside your head or your heart. He only needs to wait for a few more seconds.

“Thank you.”

Those two words come out as hardly more than a whisper, but the meaning behind them are heavy in this moment. Riley offered the only words he can right now, and Barry knows they hold so much more than a simple platitude for the water, or the musical, or the help with his injuries. They mean everything.

Barry smiles as he holds eye contact with his foster-kid. They both ignore the tears slipping down both of their faces. Barry wants to say something, say everything, say the one thing neither of them have said yet.

Instead, he leans a little closer and whispers back, “You’re welcome.” And in that moment, Barry knows Riley understands all the things they left unsaid.

 

Saturday passes uneventfully as Riley continues to heal. Barry is reassured by Cisco’s colleague, Dr. Snow, who seems shocked at the accuracy of Mick’s original assessment of the teen’s injuries and the professional appearance of the stitch work on Riley’s face. During the evaluation, Riley appears hesitant and uncomfortable with some of the doctor’s questions, but eventually she confirms that they don’t need to seek out additional medical assistance and that, given time and rest, Riley’s physical injuries will completely heal. Even though Dr. Snow has a clinical and somewhat cold bedside manner, Barry can tell the woman has a kind heart. He thanks her profusely for coming to their home during the weekend, and is relieved when the doctor offers to return if she’s ever needed.

Barry loses his argument to stay home from work Saturday night. Cisco and Riley both tell him he needs to leave the apartment for a while and point out that he isn’t actually needed at home.

“I just want to sleep, Barry,” Riley finally states. “It’s not like you being here makes me heal any faster.”

Sometimes Barry hates the gut punch the kid is able to deliver with his harsh yet honest statements of reality. Admittedly, it does help Barry feel a little better to go to Cupid and get lost in the rush of bartending at a busy club. He doesn’t find himself with much time to fret over the well-being of his foster-kid; the little time he does have free is spent agonizing over what to do with the new text conversation that was started by Len.

If he is honest with himself, Barry can admit that he and Captain Cold slowly crossed over into uncharted territory over the last few weeks. Talking to the man while he works at Saints and Sinners makes Barry feel a lot of things; mostly, he feels a happiness that comes from being the center of attention to a gorgeous man he’d always been attracted to. Their playful banter is fun, and even though Barry thinks of the older man’s flirting as mostly a tease, Barry appreciates the attention. When he stops to recall their interaction Friday, Barry worries if maybe he misinterpreted this game he thought he was playing with Snart.

Barry purposefully refused to think of the rogue as anyone other than “Cold” or “Snart” before now because he didn’t think he could afford to become too comfortable with the man. Barry isn’t great at reading people’s true intentions when it comes to dating, and he didn’t want to make a fool of himself with one of the most dangerous men in the city. But now…

Now this elusive man is “Len.” And Barry has a text open with Len. And Len said he wanted to train his foster-kid. And Len is the sexiest person Barry knows. And he needs to contact Len so Riley can meet with him. And Barry doesn’t think he knows how to keep having a casual conversation with the blue-eyed criminal anymore.

So, instead of worrying about Riley, Barry worries about what he should say in a completely information-seeking text. Eventually, after his shift ends and he makes it home, Barry sends his first real text to Len.

**Barry: You still want to meet up sometime today with Riley? 3:26am**

After changing into pajamas, checking on Riley, and climbing into bed, Barry receives a response.

**Len: Thought you got cold feet. Do you realize what time it is? 3:31am**

**Barry: I’m sorry if I woke you. I just got home from work. 3:32am**

**Len: I’ll never turn down a wake up call from you, Scarlet. Although, I can think of more pleasurable ways you can…arouse me… 3:34am**

Barry rolls his eyes as his lives up to his nickname. He’s relieved that it’s not weird to text the older man, even if he is forced to suffer through relentless teasing. Or is it flirting?

**Barry: Riley’s still banged up and sore. Do you think it’s a good idea to have him train with you this soon? 3:37am**

**Len: His enemies won’t care if he’s bruised or sore. 3:37am**

A million thoughts run through Barry’s head after reading Len’s blunt response. No wonder those two get along, he thinks. He and Riley both love their harsh realities.

**Barry: I suppose that’s true. We usually visit my dad in the morning… can we meet you sometime after 1? 3:40am**

**Barry: Or we can cancel if you’re busy 3:40am**

**Barry: Cancel meeting my dad, I mean 3:40am**

_Good job, Barry_ , the man chastises. _You’re rambling through text now. Get a grip._

**Len: It’s cool, Scarlet. The afternoon works better for me, too. I’ll text you the location tomorrow. 3:42am**

**Barry: Okay. Thank you, Len. 3:44am**

Barry is proud of himself for finally using the man’s real name, even if it’s through the safety of a screen. He puts his phone on the night stand and gets comfortable to try to catch a few hours of sleep.

When his phone lights up and buzzes seconds after he closes his eyes, he considers ignoring the message. Unfortunately, Barry’s curiosity gets the best of him.

**Len: It’s completely my pleasure. 3:46am**

Barry can’t decide if he’s glad he read the message now instead of in the morning, but he knows with absolute certainty that he’s thankful no one can see how red his face is as he drifts off to sleep.

 

Apparently, Barry’s nervousness about meeting with Len in a few hours is so noticeable that even the guards at Iron Heights stop to ask him if he’s alright. Barry tries to brush off their concern, but Riley’s snort and nonchalant comments just draw even more unwanted attention to Barry’s anxiety.

“He’s just worried about his date later today.”

“You have a date?”

“No. I don’t. We’re meeting a… friend.”

“A friend you’d like to date.”

“Good luck with your date, Barry!”

“It’s not a date. He’ll be working with Riley.”

“But he’ll be flirting with you.”

“He won’t even be talking to me.”

“You don’t have to talk to flirt.”

“Ha! Riley’s got you there, man.”

“It’s not a date!”

“Whatever you say, Barry.”

“Ugh! I’m going to talk to my dad. You can stay here and keep spreading lies if you want.”

“Henry will be so happy to hear you’re dating.”

“Shut up, Kenny.”

 

Barry lets out a sigh of relief when he finally sits down to wait for his dad to appear on the other side of the glass. Riley followed him and takes his usual seat in the first booth. As Henry walks into the room, he stops to wave at Riley and offer a kind smile like always, but lingers a little longer than normal. Riley returns the gesture and is content to continue listening to music on his phone.

“Hey, Slugger,” comes through the phone and Barry feels himself relax a little more into his chair.

“Hey, dad. How are you doing?”

“Oh you know me, son. Happy to see you and Riley, like always. Your kid okay?”

Barry lets out a sigh and leans his forehead on the partition as he quickly sums up the weekend excitement. His guilt is still present, and he’s starting to feel uncertain about letting him work with a criminal to learn defensive tactics. I hope it’s just defense Snart plans on teaching him.

“Riley’s tough. He’ll be alright, son. As I recall, you found yourself in a few altercations as a teen, and you figured out how to handle that all by yourself. Riley has you, so it’ll be easier for him to navigate.”

“That’s if I handle it right. What if I do something that makes it worse?”

“What do you think you could do to make the situation worse?”

Barry hesitates for a moment, not sure how much he wants to share. He decides on the truth, with a few specifics omitted.

“A… friend… that I know from work offered to… train Riley. And I agreed to let him teach Riley this afternoon.”

“And why does that have you worried?”

“Well, the man is a… well, he’s kind of… rough? He’s been in a lot of… fights. And let’s just say he has a history with the wrong side of law enforcement.”

Henry surprises Barry when he starts to chuckle instead of warn Barry about the dangers of allowing a child to interact with a shady person.

“You have a wonderful way with euphemisms, Barry.” Henry is smiling when Barry makes eye contact with his father.

“I’m glad I’ve impressed you. Are you impressed with my decision to let Riley be around dangerous people, too? A known criminal?”

“Yes.”

“Really?” Barry’s skepticism shines through as he raises his eyebrow at his dad.

“Your friend is a good person. Why wouldn’t I support you allowing Riley to spend time with him?”

“How can you say that? You don’t even know who he is, and you would know him if I told you his name. That’s how notorious he is.”

“I don’t need to know who he is, son. You trust this man, regardless of his past. You believe he can help Riley learn to protect himself. Help your kid heal and feel safe. That’s good enough for me.”

Barry takes a moment to search his father’s face and sees nothing but honesty. Barry does feel that way about Snart, even if he couldn’t articulate what he was doing.

“Thanks, dad.”

“You’re doing a great job with him, Barry. Don’t doubt yourself just because what you need to do is different than what you expected.”

They talk about mundane topics a little while longer before it’s time for Barry and Riley to leave. Just before he hangs up his phone, Barry asks, “Dad… do you want to know who is going to help Riley?”

Henry thinks for a few seconds before responding.

“Not today. If you want to tell me who he is next time, then I’ll be happy to listen.”

 

Riley and Barry see Captain Cold leaning casually against a light post as they approach him about two hours later. They stopped to eat a quick lunch before meeting in the warehouse district of Central City. The rouge looks as intimidating as he does attractive; his confident demeanor is paired with tight black jeans and his iconic parka that can easily conceal any number of weapons.

The older man simply watches as they approach, not changing his position or lowering his self-assured gaze. Barry feels a chill run down his spine, although he isn’t sure which emotion causes the physical reaction. Riley, for his part, walks a little taller and appears to be more alert even though he doesn’t seem afraid. Riley has always been cautious around Len at the bar, but the teen never seems to react to the man in the way the rogue’s reputation warrants. Barry isn’t sure if Riley simply is unaware of who Captain Cold is, or if his foster-kid merely knows that Snart would never hurt him.

They stop a few feet away from where the man is leaning; Barry starts to rub the back of his neck anxiously as gorgeous blue eyes roam over him meticulously. Riley crosses his arms across his chest, and Barry can almost hear the kid think, I told you words aren’t needed.

Finally, Snart straightens up and gives Riley a head nod. “Kid.”

“Hey, Len.”

Barry internally cringes as he realizes his foster-kid can address the man properly while he still feels the need to use Snart’s criminal moniker to maintain separation. He freezes when he catches Snart… Len… smirking at him. _Was that a wink?_ Barry’s eyes widen as Sna – Len – seems to huff out a laugh.

“Scarlet,” the criminal drawls out. Barry rolls his eyes and before he can offer a greeting in return, Len looks pointedly back at Riley. “Let get to work.”

Without waiting for a response, the older man heads down the side street to what looks like mostly abandoned buildings, confident that the other two men will follow.

And they do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to all of you who have stuck with me the past six? seven? weeks waiting for an update! I cannot express how sorry I am for taking so long and allowing real life to take over my writing time. I am so grateful for those of you who gave me a little nudge in the comments and for all of you who are continuing to read this story.
> 
> I love this story and promise I am going to keep posting. I have a new job and some family things on right now, so at best I'm guessing I'll update every other week, but realistically it may be closer to three. As a novice writer, I realize I need to do a better job of writing in smaller sessions rather than writing an entire chapter in one sitting (which is how I'd been writing until this last chapter). I'm nervous about the flow within my chapters feeling choppy, but I decided I'd rather get chapters to you quicker and go back and edit later, rather than making you all wait for a month for updates.
> 
> As always, comments and criticism are welcome! The next chapter will highlight the time Riley and Len spend together "training," and I'm totally stealing some dialogue from LOT :)


	13. Not Fight Club

“Get up.”

Riley takes a few deep breaths, trying to breathe through the pain in his ribs. Lenny hasn’t landed an actual punch or attacked him to his full capabilities, but the older man’s efficiency and speed continue to throw Riley off guard, quite literally. He tries not to glare at the man looking down at him, whose arms are crossed rather than reaching out to help pick the teen up off the floor. From the moment Lenny approached Riley about teaching him to defend himself, the kid was under no illusions that the man would go easy on him. But, Riley did think he’d have a little leeway the first day due to his injuries from a few days ago; that clearly wasn’t going to happen here.

The drawn-out sigh gets Riley to make eye contact, but doesn’t encourage him to stand and face his… teacher? _More like sadist pretending to be a teacher to get in my foster-dad’s pants,_ Riley scoffs.

“I don’t do touchy-feely,” Lenny says pointedly. “If you’ve got something to say, say it.”

Riley looks away, scowling, and refuses to take the bait. _Why did I agree to this again?_ he wonders, not for the first time in the last forty-five minutes. Riley glances at Barry, who is pacing in the kitchenette. The man sat at the table for all of ten minutes before his nerves seemed to get the best of him. Ten minutes was all it took to land Riley on his ass for the third time.

Groaning, Riley shifts to his knees and pushes up off the floor with his hands to get to a standing position. “I’m fine. Just thought you could use a break from pushing a kid around.”

Lenny’s eyes become slightly more of a squint, but his stance doesn’t change. “That’s cute.” The man’s head tilts, and his voice takes on a teasing drawl, making it sound like he’s toying with his prey. “Was it your mouth that turned you into a punching bag, or was it your lack of self-esteem?”

Riley’s annoyance skyrockets, and he doesn’t back down. He crosses his own arms, mimicking Lenny’s stance before responding with a clipped, “Neither.”

“Surprising.”

Riley waits, not sure how to respond to that. Lenny seems to be good at knowing how to phrase things to get a response, and how to get the last word, depending on which he wants. At this point, Riley’s just thankful for the reprieve of attacks that land him on the floor.

“You’ll need to remember,” Lenny finally continues, “distractions only work if you can back them up. You can’t.”

Riley lets that sink in for a moment, which is enough time for the older man to decide their training is finished for the day. Lenny struts to where Barry finally stopped pacing, but doesn’t stop to talk. Instead, he goes to the freezer, pulls out some bags, and looks back at Riley. He seems annoyed to be waiting. _At least he’s consistent in his feelings toward me._

Riley and Barry both relocate to meet Lenny at the table. As he gets closer, the teen realizes the bags are actually homemade icepacks. Lenny maneuvers Riley into a chair, then places one bag on Riley’s forearm and another on his ribs. “You’ll be sore tomorrow.”

“I’m sore now.”

Lenny’s only response is a twisted smile before he turns toward Barry. The men study each other for a minute, Barry obviously anxious and Lenny clearly enjoying the awkward moment before he speaks again.

“Kid can work with me after school. I’ll bring him to the bar at the end of your shift.”

“Uh… for how long?”

“As long as it takes.”

“I don’t know…” Barry still seems hesitant about the idea of training. Riley hopes his pitiful performance today doesn’t convince his foster-dad he can’t handle it.

“Judging by today’s test, it’ll take a while.”

“Today was a test?” Riley hopes the men don’t register the sadness in his voice. His exhaustion is killing his ability to act nonchalantly.

Lenny shifts his focus to Riley and takes his time evaluating the teen. “I needed to see if you were worth it.”

Now Riley’s confident they can register the hurt his face is showing, especially seeing how Barry’s stance becomes rigid. Riley was nervous but excited to be offered the chance to train with a man whom everyone feared. He hoped he’d be able to learn how to make people afraid of him, or at least get his peers to give him the same space that everyone seems to give Lenny. No one ever approaches the older man; he’s always the one to initiate contact. Riley loved the idea of creating a safe bubble that no one would destroy. If no one can get close, no one can hurt him. But now, he’s not sure what to think, and he’s worried he got his hopes up for nothing yet again.

Lenny’s voice is soft as he says, “Wanting something to be reality doesn’t make it so.” The older man continues to surprise the teen when he places his hand on Riley’s shoulder and squeezes reassuringly. “I’m glad I was right about you.”

 

In the end, Barry agrees to allow Riley to continue his training after school. Riley feels relief for that plan to be set, but it does nothing to make him feel ready to face his day at school on Monday. Barry is clearly worried about him, and keeps awkwardly trying to engage in conversations, or hugs. Riley does his best to avoid close proximity with the man as they get ready in the morning, and only responds in grunts or eye rolls until he can make it out the door.

His morning is easy, since he doesn’t have class with either Sam or Mark. A few people notice his discolored face and stitches, and he can hear them whispering their theories, but no one decides it’s worth it to ask him about what happened. Lunch with Mrs. Jones, however, proves to be quite different.

When she brings Riley his cup of water, she falters and almost spills the liquid on his sandwich. She catches herself and takes a few moments to assess him. Riley ducks his head and refuses to make eye contact, which is why he’s startled when she touches his face.

Mrs. Jones’ bony fingers catch him under the chin and she forces him to lift his head. “None of that hiding away, Mr. Whitcomb. I thought we fixed that already.” Her voice is soft but stern, leaving no room for disagreement.

She removes her hand, but maintains eye contact with the teen. “Now, be honest,” she demands, and Riley knows he will tell the truth, even if he doesn’t want to. “Is this from other students?”

Riley nods, but a quick look from the librarian makes him verbally reply, “Yes.”

“Do you want me to report it?”

Riley is shocked she doesn’t ask for more details, and he’s thankful she doesn’t want to pry. He has enough issues without adults making it worse trying to help.

“No.”

“Hmmph.” She evaluates his face a little longer before she gives her assessment. “Fine. I don’t like it, but as I didn’t witness the incident, I can’t report on speculation, now can I?”

Riley’s audible relief softens the woman’s gaze marginally.

“Is someone helping you with this?”

“Yes.” At the woman’s skeptical look, Riley offers a little more. “My foster-dad, he set up… defensive training with… a trainer.”

“Very well.” And with that, their conversation ends, leaving Riley alone to finish his lunch.

 

Walking out of school at a brisk pace has Riley a little winded, painfully aware of his lingering injuries, and a bit disoriented. He bypassed his locker after class, hoping he would lose Joey and Kurt, but he can hear the two bullies not far behind him. They seem to be enjoying their game of torturing Riley.

He has his last two classes with the boys, and they took turns picking on Riley whenever there was an opportunity. They bumped him hard into the wall during passing period, yelling an insincere apology as they passed a teacher. They pushed his books off his desk in Math class, to which Mrs. Schmidt responded by scolding Riley for distracting the class. And in Science, they told their group of friends made up facts about him during the lab. Luckily, his teacher caught them off task and split them up quickly, so then Riley only had to deal with dirty looks.

But now that they were outside with limited adult supervision, Riley feels panic start to grow in his chest. He attempts to keep the memories of Friday out of his mind while trying to remember how to get to the warehouse district for more training with Lenny. Riley reaches the sidewalk where he normally waits for a bus to take him to Barry’s work, but he can’t remember if he was ever told which route he needed to take now. Out of the corner of his eye, Riley can see his tormentors slow their pace, building the anticipation of another encounter since no one else is waiting for the bus. Just as Riley’s heartrate starts to reach critical speed, he sees a car pull a U-turn from where it was parked across the street and pull up right next to him. Then, the most glorious sound reaches Riley through the rolled down window on the passenger’s side.

“Hey kid, want a lift?”

As the teen climbs hastily into the car, he wonders if Lenny knew Riley needed help at that very moment, or if the man’s timing is completely coincidental. Riley looks in the side mirror, catching the confused gazes of Joey and Kurt. He doesn’t want to think about the stories they’ll make up about him now, after watching him ride away with a much older man who is clearly not his foster-dad. Riley already knows he’ll defend whatever crap they try to throw at him; he just hopes that this time he’ll have less bruising and no scarring to show for it.

 

The drive is silent except for the soft jazz music playing through the radio. It takes about twenty minutes to reach their destination. Lenny takes them to the same hidden residence in the warehouse district. They park the car in a spot not visible from the street and enter the living space through a back-door Riley didn’t see yesterday.

The teen isn’t sure what he would call this place. It’s not an apartment, but it has a kitchen and living room area with a couch and some worn chairs. There’s a massive table, much larger than the one in the kitchen, with papers and odds and ends strewn across it. The area Riley spent the most time in yesterday has a padded floor section made of some kind of rubber that is surround by a variety of workout supplies. There are free weights racked near a bench, a treadmill facing a small screen, a punching bag hanging from the ceiling, and a large safe, which Riley thinks looks out of place.

Lenny looks down at Riley, cracks his neck, and rolls his shoulders. The teen simply drops his bookbag off to the side and waits. It’s a matter of seconds before Riley regrets following the order:

“Let’s begin.”

 

About an hour later Lenny says they’re done and directs them to the little table in the kitchen. The older man grabs the ice bags and two water bottles before sitting down at the table with Riley. The teen chugs half the bottle before holding the ice to his body. Lenny casually sips his water, staring out over the space. Riley likes spending time with Barry, but the man has a terrible habit of trying to fill the silence between them; he appreciates Lenny’s ability to chill.

A little while later a door bangs open, ruining their quiet moment. Riley watches Lenny slowly stand and position himself between the teen and the sound that must not have been expected. As a figure walks toward them, Lenny sits back down, taking an even more relaxed position than before, apparently not concerned with whoever just showed up.

A woman approaches them, but doesn’t seem to register their presence right away. She’s typing something into her phone as she’s walking, and puts it in her back pocket before she reaches the table. When her eyes drift up, she startles a bit, looking first to Lenny, then Riley, then back to Lenny. She doesn’t move any closer, and seems to be debating something before Lenny addresses her.

“Peek-a-boo.” His voice is deeper and more clipped than Riley’s used to.

“Cold.” If the woman is surprised to see a teenager in their hangout, she doesn’t show it, and chooses to ignore Riley completely. “Do I need to leave?” She shifts her weight from foot to foot as she waits for direction, seemingly ready to bolt out of there in an instant.

Lenny finishes his drink and stands up before responding. “I’m ready to head out. This one isn’t active now, so no one should bother you.” He gives a nod to Riley, which the teen assumes means, _Get your stuff and let’s go_ , so that’s what he does.

Riley follows Lenny back they way they entered, but before they reach the door, the older man pauses, motioning for Riley to continue without him. Before the teen makes it out the door, he hears Lenny say, “I don’t need to remind you that my business is private.” Riley gets a chill as his body responds automatically to the threat in the man’s voice, even though it wasn’t directed at him. He waits to hear the end of their conversation before walking to the car.

“No, boss.” The woman must be tough as nails, because she doesn’t sound half as scared as Riley thinks she should be. “I just came to the empty house to workout between classes. Knew no one would be here.”

 

Riley resists his curiosity for about ten minutes as they drive toward Saints and Sinners. Then, against his better judgment, he questions the man he knows he should be afraid of, but can’t quite seem to view as a villain. _Must be because of the caricature I depict him as in my drawings._

“So,” the teen starts. “Who was that woman?”

Lenny doesn’t even acknowledge that he was asked a question as he continues to drive. Riley decides to try a different tactic; levity.

“Was she another kid like me who you picked up for your Fight Club?”

A deep sigh is never a good sign with the older man, and Riley curses his foster-dad’s influence on him. _I used to be able to keep silent for days._

“I don’t run a Fight Club." There's a long pause before the older man continues. "She’s one of mine, but we don’t fight for fun. It’s a necessity in our line of work.”

“What is it you do, exactly?”

“That’s not something we talk about openly.”

Riley scoffs. “Secret job you don’t talk about… sounds like Fight Club.”

Lenny’s head shakes slightly as he turns into the parking space outside the bar. Riley may be projecting, but he thinks he catches the man smile before turning to look at the teen.

“What I do isn’t a secret, kid, but people know better than to talk about it. Sharing those details, especially casually, gets people into trouble.”

A million thoughts run through Riley’s head at that revelation. He isn’t entirely sure if the man is being serious or facetious, but the teen has a feeling Lenny is being honest.

“But you’re the boss, right?” That’s what Mick always calls him. “Can’t _you_ tell me what you do?” Riley’s voice takes on a pleading sound, and he hopes feeding the man’s ego will get him to reveal something.

Hope sparks during the time Lenny takes to stare right into Riley’s eyes. The kid wants to look away, but thinks this might be another test, so he stands his ground and stares right back. After he counts to 90, Riley’s hope deflates.

“I doubt that information is something Barry would like you being privy to.”

“Does that mean you aren’t going to tell me?” Riley pouts, and isn’t even ashamed. He wasn’t that interested in the man’s job, but now that Lenny won’t tell him anything, Riley doesn’t want to stop until he knows the truth. _I wonder if I can Google him_ , he wonders.

“A quality often undervalued in people is their ability to help themselves.” Riley’s questioning look is enough to get the older man to elaborate. “If you really want to know, you’ll find a way to figure it out. Otherwise, you don’t deserve that intel.”

With that pearl of wisdom, Lenny exits the car. He waits for Riley to join him on the driver’s side before walking toward the entrance together. He holds the door open for Riley as he says, “Better get inside before your dad freaks out more than he already has. He’ll want to make sure I didn’t turn you to the dark side.”

Riley stutter steps as he tries to decide if the man just made a Star Wars reference or a reference to his super-secret job. Before he can question the man some more, Lenny makes his way over to the bar and perches on a stool in front of Barry. Riley decides to dodge that awkward interaction as he moves to his booth.

 

Later that night as Riley drifts to sleep, he vaguely remembers that he never corrected Lenny in the title he gave Barry. He also realizes, for once, he’s not upset about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments are always welcome. Moving forward, I'm going to try to spend less time editing and more time focused on writing the next chapter. If there are any glaring mistakes, please let me know and I'll fix them. And remember, if you recognize dialogue, it's not mine; I'm simplying borrowing from the CW :)
> 
> Speaking of dialogue, the lines I thought I'd use got pushed to the next chapter, so if you were looking for them, stay tuned. I have an extra long weekend with and empty house, and the writing muse is back! I don't want to get too excited, but... I'm hoping for a posting in less than a week. (Fingers crossed!)


	14. Becoming Active

After lying in bed for an hour, Riley decides to get up and eat. It’s still early Saturday morning, so Barry is asleep, and he hopes Iris didn’t stick around for food. Last night was fine hanging out with the woman; they went out to eat and walked around the pet store. Thankfully, she didn’t buy any of the furry creatures she made the workers get out of their cages so she could cuddle them. Riley doesn’t think Barry would’ve been happy to come home to a kitten, or chinchilla, or even a bearded dragon.

Peeking around the corner of the bathroom door, Riley sees the living room is empty. He makes a bowl of cereal and plops down at the island, glad to be alone for a while longer. The teen knows he woke up in a mood, and really didn’t want to start a fight with someone, especially not with Iris again. Riley hopes eating will at least curb the hangry emotions starting to filter through.

As he slowly eats the softening cereal, Riley thinks back on his week, trying to pinpoint the source of his discontent today. _Maybe I’m just sore and tired_ , the teen considers _. I did spend most of the week falling on my ass, or punching things._

 

Lenny picked Riley up from school near the bus stop Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday to continue their training. Neither man discussed that as the plan, but Riley was grateful for the sense of relief and safety he felt walking to his new ride after school, somehow knowing Lenny would be there for him. By Thursday, Joey and Kurt stopped following him, although their snide comments and fictious stories didn’t ease up during the school day.

Riley’s time with Lenny was… interesting. To a normal observer, it would appear that the older man didn’t like the teen; his words were mocking and his training was unapologetic. Riley’s frustration at his limited physical abilities in hand-to-hand fighting, which was mostly their focus, manifested in a lot of angry sounds and slaps on the mat he usually found himself laying on every ten minutes. Yet despite the annoyance he felt, Riley enjoyed his time training with Lenny.

Whenever he could get the older man to smile in approval, which often looked like a smirk, Riley felt a sense of accomplishment. And when he really listened to his trainer’s rude comments, the teen could decipher wisdom or hints on how to overcome whatever failure he just experienced. Lenny didn’t use kid gloves with Riley, something few adults ever mastered with kids. So even though Riley’s body continued to ache and develop new bruises, he felt… stronger. Lenny wasn’t going at one hundred, or even eighty, percent of his capabilities, but Riley knew none of his bullies would be fighting him at this level.

Friday’s training was cut shorter than usual due to Riley’s miserable attitude. The teen was grateful he wouldn’t have to go to school for two days, but the build-up of resentment and anger toward Joey and Kurt had reached Riley’s limit. Apparently, his emotions were clearly visible to his trainer.

“I’ve had enough,” Lenny stated as he looked down at Riley, who was practically shaking with anger as he rubbed his hip where it had connected hard on the mat. “Even with your lack of skills, this is a shitty performance. Now, you’re just wasting my time.”

Riley watched as the older man walked away, fueling his anger even more. “How am I supposed to get better if you don’t train me?” Riley was shocked at the volume of his words. He scrambled to his feet and stalked after Lenny, who stopped half way to the fridge to turn back and glare him, arms crossed.

“You’re supposed to help me,” Riley accused as he shoved at the man’s shoulder. The teen felt even more anger as he watched Lenny let the kid’s blow roll off him, barely even needing to shift his weight.

“You’re too distracted to take in anything I could teach you. You’re getting worse because you can’t control yourself.”

“Yeah, I know,” Riley responded with an eye roll. “But I can’t get better if you quit.”

Shaking his head, Lenny replied, “No. Your lack of control isn’t physical.”

“What?”

Lenny stepped closer to the teen. “If your head is stuck somewhere else, feeling something that’s not happening in this moment, how do you expect your body to be able to react to what’s going on right here, right now?”

“I –“ _Damn_. Riley’s shoulders slumped in defeat.

“Come on,” Lenny put his hand on Riley’s back and directed him toward the table in the kitchen. Riley sagged into his usual chair as the other man brought over two waters from the fridge. After both men took a drink, Lenny continued. “Who is it you’re fighting up there?” The man motioned to Riley’s head.

“I thought you said you didn’t do touchy-feely,” Riley deflected.

“I don’t. This is part of your training.”

“I thought my training was done for today?”

“The physical part is.”

Riley looked down at his hands holding onto his water bottle. He didn’t want to talk about what the kids at school were saying about him, or about Barry. But the teen had a suspicion that Lenny already knew what the problem was; it’s not that Riley thought he was extremely transparent, but rather the older man was that good at drawing conclusions. Riley felt like the man noticed more in ten seconds than most people could figure out in ten minutes.

“I…” Riley hesitated for a moment, considering how much Lenny might tell Barry. “I guess I’m just tired of kids at school talking about me.”

The teen could feel Lenny’s eyes study him, so Riley took another drink of water.

“It wasn’t an issue until your fight last week.”

Riley noticed the statement wasn’t a question, but knew Lenny was asking for more information. He shook his head in confirmation.

“That fight wasn’t about you, was it?”

Riley shook his head in another confirmation.

“You defended Barry after he defended you.”

 _Damn_ , Riley thought, still not making eye contact. _This man should be an interrogator for the FBI._

“And now?” Riley finally looked up, not understanding the question. “Why are they stuck under your skin?”

An exasperated sigh left Riley while he thought about his answer. _Why, indeed?_ Lenny waited him out, patient for a verbal answer this time.

“I guess because it’s worse now?” Lenny’s skeptical gaze prompted Riley to explain further. “They used to stop. It wasn’t every day. And now the stuff they make up…” Riley gritted his teeth in frustration as he thought about the shit they said today.

“They found your breaking point last Friday. Now, they want to see it again.”

“Yeah…”

“You have a breaking point because you care. You didn’t before.”

Riley was already on edge, so it didn’t take much for him to become defensive. “I cared about Barry before Friday!”

Lenny simply scoffed at the teen’s anger. “Sure you did, but it’s different now, and you can’t hide it.”

Riley looked away from the man’s knowing smirk. “This is starting to feel like therapy.”

“Everyone needs a good therapist. If yours isn’t working out, I can give you the number to mine.”

Riley glared at Lenny, not sure if he was teasing or being serious. _Do criminals have therapists_?

“Look kid, don’t get me wrong,” Lenny continued, unphased by the teen’s attitude. “Loyalty is a fine quality to possess, and often rare in humans. It’s the first thing I look for when recruiting my Rogues.”

 _Rogues!_ Riley’s eyes lit up, finally remembering the word Barry used to describe the man in front of him. _Leader of the Rogues_. Riley took a mental note to do research on Rogues in Central City to add to the information he already started collecting on Leonard Snart.

“Don’t get too excited,” Lenny interrupted Riley’s derailed thoughts. “I’m not recruiting you. Your fighting skills aren’t up to standard.”

Riley laughed after he saw the man wink at him, apparently back to joking. But the reprieve in emotional therapy was short lived.

“Can I tell you something, Riley? It’s important.”

The kid simply nodded, feeling the atmosphere surrounding them change as the older man got out of his chair to kneel in front of where Riley sat. The teen watched a different Lenny appear before him, no longer looking at the intimidating man who caused fear in others, or even the snarky asshole who teased him or flirted with his foster-dad.

The man crouching before him was a person who’d experienced pain, the kind that leaves invisible scars that never fully heal. The man before him was… vulnerable.

When he spoke again, Lenny’s voice was soft, matching the look in his eyes. The man placed one hand on Riley’s knee as he said, “Don’t ever let anyone hurt you. Ever.”

Riley swallowed at the sincerity in the man’s words; he felt uncomfortable with this kind of emotion coming from Lenny, a person he admired for his stoicism, but he couldn’t look away as the man continued to speak slowly.

“Not here.” Lenny pointed to Riley’s head with his free hand. “Especially not here.” Lenny’s fingers were now barely touching Riley chest, right where his heart was located. “No matter what, you always have to look out for yourself. Okay?”

Lenny stared right into Riley’s eyes, searching for something. The man’s voice took on a pleading quality as he asked quietly, “Understand?”

Riley felt as if the man was grasping onto his soul with how intently he looked and spoke to the teen. He took a moment to process what Lenny was trying to tell him. Somehow, even without context, without either man sharing details, Riley knew they somehow connected on a deeper level than what their words could convey. Riley didn’t know what the man’s full story was or how exactly he’d been hurt, but Riley knew his response was completely truthful when he whispered his answer, not wanting to break the moment:

“Yes,” he nodded and placed his own hand on top of the one Lenny still rested on his knee. “I understand.”

 

 

Riley returns to his bedroom after cleaning up his breakfast. His mood isn’t improving; if anything, it’s getting worse. Truly thinking about the past week makes him realize it was pretty crappy, and he needs an outlet for his emotions. Actually, what he really wants is to turn off his emotions. He’s been feeling too much this week, and he blames Dr. Finkel for being so… so… just, mean at therapy.

On top of his desk, Riley’s sketchbook and pencils are out. He doesn’t feel the need to hide his things anymore, because he knows Barry won’t come in snooping around. The man seems to respect Riley’s room as belonging to the teen, and he never enters without permission.

The room is still pretty bare, especially for a teenager, and considering Iris still tries to buy him things every week. Maybe because Riley became used to not having his own things, or much of anything, in the system, the teen takes good care of his possessions. He doesn’t leave clothes on the floor, and his closet is organized with all of his shirts and shoes and pants neatly placed in their own spot. Looking around, Riley tries to see his room as an outsider. He wonders if someone would assume he has OCD, or maybe lives the minimalist lifestyle, neither of which are true. _Doesn’t matter,_ Riley shrugs off his wandering musings. _Not like anyone comes in here but me_.

The teen makes his way over to his desk and plops down. He wants to draw, knows he probably should to help curb his emotions from spiraling too much, but he’s still angry from the last time he drew. He flips through his book, looking at the four sketches he did last week but didn’t share with Dr. Finkel.

Drawing something that he’s done since living with Barry should’ve been easy; the new adults in Riley’s life have him doing thing all the time. But choosing something, that was the tough part for Riley. And, he was still bitter about his drawing being used against him, so he didn’t want to pick a moment that would’ve been… revealing.

The first picture he drew was of him sitting in the living room. Riley thought back to the first few days with Barry, and realized he claimed his chair on day one. So, he drew that. The room is from the perspective of sitting in Riley’s chair. Barry is sitting on the couch, one leg crossed over his other knee, looking ahead where the TV is located. The blinds across from Riley’s chair are open, but don’t show anything outside. All that’s shown of Riley is his lap, hands resting on his knees.

Riley didn’t share that one, because he thought it was too real. He didn’t want his therapist to analyze the time they spend in the living room, or ask what he sees from this point of view, or why he likes that chair. He didn’t want to ruin his space with her questions.

The next picture in the book shows Barry at the aquarium, looking at the colorful fish. They’ve been back a few times, but Riley never goes by himself. Riley loves listening to Barry nerd out when he gets excited about things, and apparently animals in the aquarium make him really excited. The picture shows Barry smiling at Riley while pointing to an exhibit with tropical fish. The only thing shown of Riley is the back of his head and body as he looks in the direction of the fish tank.

Riley didn’t share this picture for similar reasons: he’s happy here, and he didn’t want that to be tarnished in therapy.

The next page shows the type of drawing that Riley typically enjoys creating: a comic style scene of larger than life characters. Lenny has been the focus of his recent sketches like this, and that is true in this picture as well. Lenny’s character is big and imposing, wearing a heavy coat lined in fur and goggles that cover his eyes. A massive gun on his hip is barely visible under the coat as his movements are tracked in the scenes. In the top corner, it looks like the sinister man created the damage done to the kid, who is leaning against a brick wall and covered in blood. In the next scene, the two men are shaking hands in a booth covered with food. The next shows the bigger man holding out his hand to pick the kid up off a training mat. And the final scene shows the imposing man as a smaller figure in the background, watching as the kid punches another kid in the face, standing over a second kid sprawled on the sidewalk.

Riley loves this page, for obvious reasons, but didn’t think it’d be smart to reveal how much violence he experienced, and wants to inflict, on his bullies. Plus, Barry isn’t in this picture, so he wasn’t sure Dr. Finkel would accept it.

The last sketch Riley made in the book is a scene at Iron Heights. Riley shows the perspective of the guard watching Barry and Henry place their hands on the glass, trying to connect. Riley sits in the corner watching over them. Barry’s face isn’t visible, but his body is hunched, clearly in pain. Henry shows a sad smile, and Riley added light colors to his appearance, highlighting his innocence in an otherwise drab scene.

Riley didn’t feel right showing this to someone, knowing how painful it is for his foster-dad to see Henry behind the partition every week, serving time for a horrible crime he didn’t commit. Plus, Riley didn’t want to bring up the topic of dads in therapy.

The teen leans back in his chair, looking up to the ceiling as his frustration continues to grow. He chose to go to therapy on Thursday without any picture, calling Dr. Finkel’s bluff. Riley bet wrong, and it annoyed him even further after drawing simple pictures for thirty minutes and having them psychoanalyzed.

 

“Thirty minutes isn’t enough time to draw a good picture,” Riley argued with his therapist.

“That’s fine. You can draw a better one for next week when you have more time. Today, let’s just keep it a simple outline, for the sake of time.”

Riley hated how his therapy session had turned, beginning last week. He didn’t like this pressure Dr. Finkel was putting on him, and he tried to resist. He decided to draw a picture of Barry and Riley riding on the bus. _Nothing revealing about traveling through town_ , he surmised.

He did a crude sketch with a pencil. He drew Barry sitting with his arms crossed, a vacant look staring ahead. The image of Riley had his head laying back on the seat, headphones in, phone in hand. His eyes were closed.

Dr. Finkel took the image from Riley when he finished and looked at it briefly. “Thank you. You are very talented.”

“Thanks,” Riley mumbled. He waited for her analysis, but it didn’t come.

“Now, please draw your second picture. One of something you experienced the year before you were put in foster care.”

Riley sat for a few moments, racking his brain trying to figure out something he could draw. The year before foster care was a mess, a blur, a time he actively tried to not think about. That was the year his mom got sick, and it didn’t take long for her to…

Feeling sadness take over, Riley drew an image he experienced more times than he could count. The picture showed a waiting room, every chair empty except for the one he sat in. He drew his face looking up at the clock on the wall, no expression.

It only took about thirty-five minutes to draw both pictures, since he didn’t shade anything and didn’t care how they looked. When he handed the second picture over to the therapist, Riley sat back in his chair, crossing his arms and legs, daring the doctor to find something in either picture. Admittedly, the second one could easily show that he was sad, because of course he was. But that wasn’t new information for either of the people in the room.

“Thank you, Riley. I know it’s not always easy to show something so personal.” Dr. Finkel studied both pictures for a minute, tilting her head sometimes and drawing her eyebrows together. She handed both pictures back to Riley. “What do you notice about both of the images you chose to draw today?”

Riley took the sketches and looked at them quickly. He smarted off the first thing he could think of: “I’m sitting in both.”

“That’s right.”

 _What?_ Riley tried to deduce meaning from his therapist, but she didn’t give anything away on her face or in her body language.

“Is that picture of you waiting for you mom in the hospital?”

Riley gave a tight nod. _Obviously, that’s what it was_.

“Why didn’t you draw yourself sitting with your mom?”

The teen glared at his therapist, then looked off to the side, staring at the wall. He honestly hadn’t thought too much about what he drew. He just wanted to complete the assignment and leave this session, so he drew the first thing that came to his mind and didn’t feel overtly emotional.

“Do you and Barry take the bus often?”

“He doesn’t have a car.”

“I see. He looks unhappy here. Is he?”

“No.”

“So, he doesn’t like riding the bus?”

“No. The bus is fine.”

“Does he not like talking to you?”

“He usually talks too much.”

At that, the doctor smiled and sat back in her chair.

“Where do the two of you go, that makes Barry so unhappy?”

Riley actively bit tongue, not wanting to give the woman this information. It would open too many topics that Riley didn’t have the energy to combat today. So instead, he resorted to the silent treatment. Unfortunately, even that didn’t seem to keep his therapist out of his head.

“Riley, I’m going to tell you what I see in these pictures. I’m going to make assumptions, and I want you to consider whether or not you agree with what I say.

“In both of these pictures, I see a kid who cares deeply for two adults who are in pain. I see a kid who feels trapped, unable to help, unable to move, unable to take away the pain for the people he loves. He doesn’t know what to do, so he just sits there, waiting, knowing nothing will change and unable to do anything different.

“I see a kid who feels so much agony, brought on by the constant and unfair pain of his loved ones, that he cannot feel anything else. He barely exists.”

Dr. Finkel pauses here, and Riley notices how hard his body is shaking. His vision is blurry, and he bites the inside of his cheek to keep the tears at bay. _You’re wrong_ , Riley shouts in his head. _I feel everything. I wish I didn’t feel…_

“Riley?”

He looks over to the woman, drawn out of his thoughts by her gentle tone. He feels moisture on his face, but he refuses to move his hands to wipe them away.

“Riley? Would you like to tell me what you think? Do I see the pictures correctly?”

 _No. Yes. Fuck off_ , he thinks. Riley can’t stop shaking, can’t slow down his heart beat, can’t stop from feeling hot all over his body. He’s pissed.

“Alright,” the woman continues. “I think we did enough for today. Next week, I’d like to talk more about how you feel about Barry. I’d like you to draw me a picture of something Barry did with you that made you feel good.”

Riley doesn’t respond. He’s seriously considering not showing up next week. Barry doesn’t go to therapy and he turned out alright.

“Before you leave, I have one more thing to say.” Dr. Finkel hesitates, but Riley refuses to look at her. “I want to remind you that you’re safe. That you are allowed to feel, and be angry, and be sad. And, I want to remind you that you are not stuck.

“Riley, the boy in these pictures, he doesn’t have to stay there. He can move. It’s not easy, but he can start to be active again, and feel happy, and be okay. Even with all that pain, you are allowed to move on.”

Riley didn’t acknowledge the therapist as he left her offices and stormed down the hallway and out of the building. When he got to the bus stop, he looked down at his clenched fists and finally released them, opening his fingers. He took a deep breath and tried to control his feelings. Stepping onto the bus, he realized he forgot to bring the pictures with him.

 

 

Riley shakes his head and clears his through as he hears his foster-dad call for him down the hall. He thinks he’s composed before Barry sticks his head into the bedroom.

"Hey, Ry. What are you doing?”

Riley shrugs his shoulders, not certain he should be speaking right now.

“Do you have any plans for today?” Barry’s voice still sounds sleepy. Riley shakes his head to answer the question as he looks over the older man. _He doesn’t sleep enough_.

“Okay. Well, if you want to do something, just let me know. I’m not feeling too great today, so I think I’m going to take it easy until work.”

Riley listens as Barry opens things in the kitchen, most likely making himself some breakfast. He doesn’t know what, but the teen starts to feel angry, angrier than he did when he woke up. He pushes out of his chair and makes his way down the hall to find his foster-dad.

“You should call in sick.”

“Huh?” Barry questions around a mouthful of leftovers. The man didn’t even heat it up.

“You work too much. I’ve never met anyone who works seven days a week. That’s insane.”

“I’m sure other people work every day, Ry. And my work is easy, at least during the week. There’s not much to do at Saints and Sinners.”

“It’s still work. You still have to get up and do things. I’m surprised you’re not sick all the time.”

At this point, Riley’s chest is heaving, and he feels the same amount of confusion as he sees on Barry’s face. The man put down his food and turned to really look at Riley. Before Barry can get a word out, Riley continues his diatribe.

“You never stop! Even when you’re not at work, you’re always running around, doing things -”

“Hey, Riley. Take a breath.” Barry’s hands are up in the area in the universal signal for I’m-trying-not-to-scare-this-thing-that’s-freaking-me-out. “What’s going on buddy? You sound really upset, and I’m not sure why.”

Riley hates the soothing tone Barry took with him, like he’s the one who has a problem. He doesn’t let his anger subside as he continues to yell at the older man.

“You work too much! You need to take a day off. Or a couple. Maybe a week. It’s not good for people to work as much as you do.”

Barry studies Riley for a few moments before he slowly offers his response. “Maybe you have a point. But, it doesn’t feel like too much work. It’s not like I had anything else going on. And I told you, before, that sitting around with nothing to do isn’t good for me. That is more unhealthy for me than working everyday.”

 “But now I’m here,” Riley blurts out. Both men are shocked at the outburst, especially with what it implies. Barry’s eyes soften a little more, and Riley feels like he needs to backtrack his statement.

“I mean…” _What did he mean?_ “You wouldn’t have nothing to do, if you didn’t work one day. I’d be here… and then you wouldn’t get sick…” Riley fizzles out with his explanation, and with it goes his anger. Now he just feels exhausted. _What a perfect way to end a crappy week_ , he thinks.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Barry reaches out and places his hand on the teen’s shoulder. Riley only startles a little, since he wasn’t looking at the man. Now he is, and he watches Barry start to smile.

“It is different now, with you here. It’s better.” Riley feels his face heat up at the statement, and hopes his face isn’t turning red like Barry’s usually does.

Barry removes his hand from Riley’s shoulder, but continues talking as Riley shuffles his feet. “I promise I’ll take care of myself, Riley. This is just seasonal allergies. I won’t actually get sick, okay?”

Riley nods his head, eyes on the floor. He feels really stupid for yelling at Barry out of the blue. _Do I really care that Barry works so much?_ Riley wonders. _It’s not like he leaves me alone all the time, even with his crazy schedule._

“Maybe I should look into a change of jobs,” Barry says as he picks up his food and takes another bite. “Having time off to… hang out… doesn’t sound like a bad idea.”

“Okay. Good.”

Riley wants out of this conversation, so he heads over to his chair and turns on the TV. He selects a cooking show that they both enjoy, hoping Barry will come sit down and relax with him. After Barry settles into the couch with a blanket, Riley starts to relax.

He knows he was unfair to his foster-dad, yelling at him for nothing. He knows, logically, that working doesn’t make someone get cancer. After the emotional shit he dealt with all week, especially during and after his therapy session, Riley just doesn’t have a good filter up. He’s letting things bother him that doesn’t usually get to him. He is positive he will not draw this moment for Dr. Finkel, if he decides to draw anything at all.

 _Next week will be better_ , Riley hopes. Wednesday is his birthday, so he can at least count on receiving a present through foster care. All the kids get some kind of generic gift that’s donated by do-gooders. He wonders if Judy will deliver the present. He hasn’t spoken to her in a while, not needed check-ups living with Barry.

I wonder if he knows it’s my birthday? Riley isn’t sure if he’d rather have Barry not know he’s turning fifteen in a couple days, or if he’d like to see what his foster-dad would come up with for a gift.

Knowing Barry, Riley thinks his foster-dad will have something planned out for his birthday. Now Riley just hopes the man doesn’t go too far over the top.

 _Not likely_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did it! Back to back weeks of posting, hooray! This chapter took a turn I wasn't planning, but I think I like where my boys keep taking me. In order to post quickly, I didn't do a final editing read, so if there's major mistakes, feel free to let me know.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading. I appreciate everyone who sticks with or finds my little story. I reviewed my outline of what I planned for this fic, and let me tell you, there's a lot more coming!
> 
> The next posting probably won't be for two weeks. It's Riley's birthday, and of course everyone has plans and presents :)


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